No good deed goes unpunished

The questions that are posed throughout this article are jaw dropping in their irony:

Good Samaritan left to die in the street

"What's wrong with humanity?"

"I think people are just afraid to step in; they don't want to get involved; who knows what their reasons are?"

"Their reasons are", they don't want to get stabbed to death on the street. The story within the story is self explanatory - we have a "good Samaritan" who steps in to assist and finds himself bleeding to death on the street. "What's wrong with humanity?"
Great question.
Look around.
The homeless population is staggering.
No one wants to help anyone because of the repercussions.
We have homemakers/ neighbors being fined for helping their working neighbors with childcare.
Check out now if you don't want to hear the truth.
We are a country of selfish, money whores, who care more about our presence than our purpose. The few who do take a stand are isolated, labeled and threatened.
We don't take care of our elders, our impoverished, or our sick.
We are a generation of "me".
I will revert back to my mantra of the 90's "stand for something or shut the fuck up".
And I am guilty.
I walk past homeless people all the time, afraid, curious, saddened. I feel like I do my part, but I think about my kids, and my safety, and I walk on by. I would like to think that I would not walk past someone bleeding in the street. I know in my heart I wouldn't, but I have walked past many a drunk and felt nothing.
Yesterday, a homeless man approached me and immediately I tensed up. I have been accosted by homeless men before - felt up by a bum in the metro in Paris. So, my fears are not unwarranted, but I try to look at each individual as a new experience. As the man approached, he asked if I was Jesus, passing out water and apples today. I was emptying my car of groceries and held a gallon of milk in one hand and a bag of apples in the other. I responded, "Would you want an apple" and he joked with me before continuing on his way, with no apple, but a joke in his spirit.
A human being on the street.
20 seconds of contact.
No harm, no foul.
Tomorrow that man could be laying dead on the street trying to assist my neighbor.
It's not right.
What are we going to do about it?
What do you stand for?

Shades of gray

In perspective of my last blog on being smiley, I thought about the people who have touched my life and given me insight into why I am the way I am.

I have been told, "Everything is not always black and white", "The grass is not always greener", and I understand that. BUT, for me there is only gray area for those who need it to justify their actions. Truth is black and/or white. Justice is black and/or white. Integrity is black and/or white. Life is gray. Perception is gray. Bullshit is gray.

The grass is indeed always greener - this doesn't mean you have to till the neighbors yard, but it's OK to notice the hues of green, to, in fact, want a greener grass in your own yard - to want to work harder to grow your own flowers.

I am not condoning "keeping up with the Joneses", I am simply stating there is always room for improvement or a desire for something better or different - in terms of where your path may take you. Life is simple. The sun rises and sets - grass grows...how green it gets is totally up to you.

On being smiley

Over the past week, in response to my birthday, I received many wishes; many good thoughts and good energy - affirmations from all over the country, from all my friends and contacts. These affirmations were felt in my heart and soul and were cherished, as are my friends and relationships.
Today, I woke up and I looked around. I searched my room, I looked out the window, I turned the dial on the radio...searching. What was I searching for I asked myself? It hit me.
My inspiration.
I live my life to spread good energy to others. Sometimes I don’t know how I find the energy to get through my own day. Today, it occurred to me – I look for it. I ask for it; whether consciously or unconsciously, I seek it out. I actively search for the good stuff. I look to make good days happen. I listen for the secret music, the lyrics, the sounds that change lives. I look for moments to remind me I am doing the right thing. I am living right. I am staying on path that has been chosen for me.I spend the time thinking about what will make me smile before I go out into the world.
Then I got pissed. All around me everyday are complainers, those who seek out the negative. Those who can’t find anything good in the world around them or in regards to anything they are up to. It's not easy finding the positive, but it is a conscious decision.
We all get out of bed and put one foot down on the floor, followed by the other. We all breathe oxygen and need water to survive. We all crave touch. We all choose how to treat each other and how to live our lives.
I don't think about smiling everyday. I think about the consequence of not smiling. I think about how my actions affect others. I consider how negative energy is poison. I consider how my choices affect the world.
For those who think my life is so great, and that's why I am so smiley and happy - you are wrong. Because I am so smiley is why my life is great, not the other way around. As shitty as my life may get - why would I put that on the rest of the world?
Spreading love feels good, even when I don't.
And it's not easy.
It is not easy being a cheerleader for people around you who can't even cheer for themselves.
But what's harder is listening to people moan and whine because they don't know a different way to be. When I walk outside I don't look for the cracks in the cement. I don't look for the shit on my shoe. I don't smell the foul stench of desperate humanity. I choose to look for the beauty in the world, even when it's gray outside. Even if the sun does not come out that day - I remember what it looks like and treasure when I will see it again.
The sun on my face makes it all worth it. The affirmations from people I love are just a bonus.

Wrapping up San Francisco

This is all~

House of Days...my day

The timeless events of life are rarely captured in a moment of historical value.
Memories are great but how often do you get to actually capture a moment of your own personal history in a time capsule so to speak? One of those moments where the Universe spoke to me yesterday sent me on a walking voyage in search of the Golden Gate bridge. On this designed path I stumbled across a special building. A small house which overlooks the Pacific Ocean.
The House of Days is located at the outdoor exploratorium at Fort Mason. "The interior of the Searchlight Building on McDowell Road becomes a projection space where visitors can see a visual record of changing atmospheric conditions over time. Snapshots of the sky taken at regular intervals merge into a grid of pixel-like cells that enable visitors to track and compare weather patterns on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis"(courtesy National Science Foundation).
I passed by this building and wondered what it was, thinking perhaps it was an outlook to the Golden Gate Bridge which I was more than happy to observe from this point in the voyage and stop my walking tour. It was not. As I looked inside the building I could see a map of the sky from the past days, weeks, even months. The last time stamp and view of the sky, at that moment (the moment I chose to stop and view) was April 21, 2010, 4:00p; exactly to the hour, the day and time I was born, 42 years earlier.
Remarkable.
Now I have a historical time-stamp of my birth time and this celebratory trip.
The Universe saying to me, "This is where you were...then."



April 21, 2010, 4:00p San Francisco, CA

So much to see, so little time

The Universe sends you tidbits of information all the time. Every moment enlightenment is possible. If you listen to the world, she will speak to you.
My day was filled with the opportunity to see the great gestures of human form, in architecture, in structure, in culture, in art. What I found most awesome was the little things the universe whispered in my ear, "go down this street, I have a surprise for you."
Beautiful homes, with secret gardens...smell the flowers.
Private parks with secret messages...just for you.

Although I saw grand bridges, experienced moments of history, walked streets of importance, ate clam chowder out of a bread bowl, heard at least six different languages, watched small children become empowered, and TRIP BONUS; wandered into a gallery that was showing my favorite artist of all time, the moments that stood out, were the private one's between the universe and me.
She said, "Happy birthday, this gift of life is for you"

A trip down the crookedest street on my birthday