Yesterday I turned 41. Wow...I am actually into the 40's now. Not 40! "whoa- Haha", black balloons and shit-talking about a new generation, but 41 - I've crossed over.
I don't look any different, but my soul feels a little different. I have had epiphany after epiphany this past week and I wonder, am I just more aware? More alert?
My heart feels open. I look around and inhale deeply. I breathe in my surroundings. Not that I haven't done this in the past...just not every day. I wonder about people's "story".
The people close to me - I examine for feelings and history. I realized this week I want to know "why" and "how". I want to feel their passion and understand their outlook.
I don't know that I have heart-felt my friends honesty before this week.
Really grasped who they are from deep down.
I saw my purpose clearly with some and more vaguely with others. I surprised myself. I changed a little. As I drank wine and ate cake and laughed so hard I peed my Smartypants, I really took in each moment.
Every hug. Every kiss. Every touch. Every moment that was different from the last moment and will be different from the next moment. I layed in the sun on a rooftop in my bra.
In those moments I remembered Mexico. I fantasized about Greece. I felt the wind on my face and I felt really loved for a minute. The sun loved me. The wind loved me. A boy smiled at me and I felt so special and I thought - I have moments like this, but I didn't live in them. I didn't appreciate them. I wanted each second to be meaningful. I didn't need to worry about the future. Not the next minute. Not the next day. Just that moment in time when I was fully connected.
And it felt amazing.
Life is beautiful and my goal this birthyear is to embrace each moment. To listen in time. To be present. To accept each moment for what it is and that is all.
Showing posts with label moments in time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moments in time. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Romantic comedy moment in time
I love romantic comedies...almost as much as I love thrillers. I think there is a direct correlation between the suspense in a romantic comedy and the tension buildup in an action thriller. Will the two lovers cross paths? Will the confusion and insecurities of the lovers turn into an actual relationship? Movies like Serendipity, 27 Dresses and The Wedding Date where everyone can see clearly the attraction between the main characters, but know there will be so much bumbling and chaos, that they may never end up together. In European versions, there is usually death and insanity over a happy ending. I prefer these endings because they are real, but American romance films capture my heart because I want to believe in hope.
This weekend I witnessed a moment so powerful it made me believe in the possibility of love out there for me.
While out on the town with my friends, after all the dancing was done and the entire nightclub emptyed out into the night, I saw a boy lean in and kiss a girl. It was so sweet and pure like fresh snow lightly falling on the grass. At the moment I believe everyone within a 25 foot radius to the couple began to get sucked into the kiss, it was abruptly interrupted by another girl. "What are you doing", she shouted. "Ruh roh", I thought. This must be his girlfriend. It wasn't. I didn't hear the entire conversation (because it really wasn't any of my business, but I couldn't help overhear portions). Apparently she was a friend of his and looking out for his best interest.
I walked with my friends into the parking lot, a little enamored by what I had seen. I turned and I watched the boy and the girl walk different directions. I saw the boy talking with his friends and pacing around their car. I saw the girl look back at him once and then regain pace with her friends. Then I noticed the most beautiful, amazing romantic comedy moment (which in my mind never happens in real life). The boy ran from his friends, and the car, ran across the parking lot towards the girl, who at this point had turned around and just stopped in her tracks.. And in true romantic film genre, he picked her up and kissed her hard. It was moving and almost unbelievable. Guys don't do this in real life. Do they? Not guys I know. It was precious and sweet and so passionate it got caught in my throat. I stood there caught up in their moment, and as in any romantic comedy, something really funny happened at the same time; with a girl...on the ice...in heels.
And the snow fell.
This weekend I witnessed a moment so powerful it made me believe in the possibility of love out there for me.
While out on the town with my friends, after all the dancing was done and the entire nightclub emptyed out into the night, I saw a boy lean in and kiss a girl. It was so sweet and pure like fresh snow lightly falling on the grass. At the moment I believe everyone within a 25 foot radius to the couple began to get sucked into the kiss, it was abruptly interrupted by another girl. "What are you doing", she shouted. "Ruh roh", I thought. This must be his girlfriend. It wasn't. I didn't hear the entire conversation (because it really wasn't any of my business, but I couldn't help overhear portions). Apparently she was a friend of his and looking out for his best interest.
I walked with my friends into the parking lot, a little enamored by what I had seen. I turned and I watched the boy and the girl walk different directions. I saw the boy talking with his friends and pacing around their car. I saw the girl look back at him once and then regain pace with her friends. Then I noticed the most beautiful, amazing romantic comedy moment (which in my mind never happens in real life). The boy ran from his friends, and the car, ran across the parking lot towards the girl, who at this point had turned around and just stopped in her tracks.. And in true romantic film genre, he picked her up and kissed her hard. It was moving and almost unbelievable. Guys don't do this in real life. Do they? Not guys I know. It was precious and sweet and so passionate it got caught in my throat. I stood there caught up in their moment, and as in any romantic comedy, something really funny happened at the same time; with a girl...on the ice...in heels.
And the snow fell.
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