Keeping Conscious; Staying Grounded in a Busy World

I found this great "List". Even those who know me well don't know how addicted I am to "lists" and calendars. My favorite two things. I love making lists, and I love organizing my day to day on a calendar. I have a lot to juggle so I need my organization tools, but being the Queen of organization does not have to be my goal, so to speak.
But, this particular list (courtesy Daily Om) reminds me to be conscious every day. It is one of the best lists I have ever seen, and I keep a tattered copy on my refrigerator. I can't believe I have not shared it before now. Staying Grounded in a Busy World gives detailed insight on how to live in the moment. I use it as a directive for staying on path...the path to consciously keep all the good aligned in regards to being me.
I would love to take a point a day and speak on how each of these affects everyone everyday, and how important all these points are, not just to me, but to you.
And you.
And you.
But, today I just want to discuss point # 7. Number 7 is, "See the larger picture" - the way I choose to live is not the only way to live. I have to remind myself everyday that just because that's not how I would do something (the best way), doesn't mean it won't be effective for someone else. In raising children, this is probably one of the foremost important things to teach: just because you want something done a certain way does not make it so. Just because you were taught how to do something one way, does not mean someone else cannot do it just as effectively another way.

photo courtesy realmenministry.com

Many paths lead to God.
Just as children argue over little things because each wants it done their way, adults fight over larger issues for the same reason. My way.
I try to see the larger picture in everything I do lately.
In contemplating moving to a new city, I weigh heavily the pros and cons of the move, short term move and long term; housing prices, safety and education for my little one, the future cost of education for my teen, the future of my career - all of these things branch out from the simple question, should I move closer to the ocean and beach to maintain my sanity right now?
In any relationship, their are compromises and disagreements. Points of view which have to be taken into consideration to maintain camaraderie and build solidarity. In my last relationship I tried to see the bigger picture and look at the possibility and the future of the relationship, not just the history and the flaws. I could not get past my expectations of what is required in any relationship to make the picture big enough. I was reminded that there is a big picture. A picture bigger than I.

I do research. I do travel. I do discuss.
In theory I should be living the big picture. In reality I am human and I live how I know, hoping to gain insights and learn along the way.
We choose our paths, ride out the conflicts of life, answer the questions the best we can, and we move forward with the knowledge that the picture will always be bigger then we can ever see. That in fact is growth and learning and hopefully... keeping conscious.

Oh Saucy!

Big week.
I am contemplating moving to California for a career opportunity. I have double kid duty all month and the double carpool in the a.m. and the double car pool in the p.m. are wearing on me. Scheduling.
Groceries.
Recycling and toilets.
This week is wearing me out already...then there was Tuesday.
Tuesday after school, Saunders gets into the car and immediately apologizes for being late to the Kiss-n-Go for pick up. He looks like his little day has been wrecked, but I don't say anything. As we drive on an errand for Maddi, he says, "when we get home I need to talk to you about something that happened after school."
Every worst thought goes through my mind, and if you know me you know I have no patience. I want to know now. I wait until we get to the errand point and Maddi gets out of the car. I turn off the ignition and ask him what's up. He starts to ask me if I know how hard he's been trying to have a good year, and I respond, yes, and he goes on to tell me that he will likely get a "think sheet" for something that happened after school.
Oh great. I wait patiently for the bomb to drop.
He tells me that he was playing wall ball and accidentally tripped another student. The student, in anger retaliated against him and shoved him. Saunders walked away but the other child came back, called him names and shoved him to the ground. Saunders then states he got up and shoved him back at which point a parent intervened and took them both inside for fighting,
which is a big deal in public school these days.
I listened to his story and thought about what he was trying to accomplish and told him we could talk about it later and I was sorry he had had a bad day.

Fast forward Wednesday, After school, I ask about the think sheet and Saunders tells me that he would probably be getting one, but he may be getting suspended as well.
Outstanding.
I ask about the meeting. I ask about the think sheet. I ask about the other student. I ask specifically what happened, and if all the stories would line up. His answers were consistent.

Fast forward to this morning. I decide to take matters into my own hands, as I can hardly be expected to wait for someone else to determine my kids destiny.
I have a conversation with the Administrator in charge of discipline in this matter.
She basically confirms Saunders story with the addition of what was said between the two boys, and the physical activity. Apparently, the boy called Saunders "a retard", so Saunders retorted "at least I'm not in special Ed." Ouch! Unfortunately, the boy does have special needs classes, and I will assume this is when he shoved Saunders to the ground. In turn Saunders kicked this boy in the ribs hard enough to leave a bruise.
Now, luckily they are nine years old, so there will be no legal ramifications, but when they turn ten years old, apparently, the law gets involved, so the school is worried for them both that they understand the consequences of their actions.
She did let me know that Saunders is a good kid but the incident was considered a fight and they have policy to follow. Well, yeah... But, in benefit of both kids, she said they both fessed up to what they each did and both showed sorrow and remorse, which is a great thing.
This was probably my biggest worry, that the truth would be greyed and that the kids would not have remorse. These are touchy words, and Physical altercations rarely lead to the truth. So kudos to them for stepping up and showing maturity and responsibility for their actions.
But man! being a parent never ends.

Reason? Season? Lifetime?

After so many years together, she suggested they had reached their limit: "You bring people into your life at certain times. Maybe you have a relationship to have children and you realize that it's fulfilled after that point." Susan Sarandon, on the breakup last year of her and her life partner (never married) Tim Robbins

Everyone comes into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

This is a difficult concept for most people. It is hard to be taught how to connect to people, only to let them go when the "learning", or the growth experience is actually over. I have gone through an extremely difficult breakup, and in evaluating myself and trying to gain growth from the experience, I question who I am every day. Who am I? What can I do differently? What do I want?
The experience, I find, is challenging because I have been the road runner in the past. I run at a moment's notice. I live by the notion that life is short... don't miss anything. Live for life. Make it about the journey.
So, when meeting someone that you absolutely connect with and it doesn't pan out, it takes a toll on who you are. When dating in general, it is easy to move on, there is no investment. It is open for the anticipation of the end. Possibility is the bottom line. When you connect with someone, anyone - the promise of "forever" is what strokes the pain of ego.
The conversations, the intimacy, the sharing of "like" - it all bears against the investment of life and love.
I guess I should feel lucky that I haven't had my heart broken over and over again.
I look at Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins as one of those couples that connected. They got it. They overcame the celebrity and maintained a relationship for 23 years.
I can't maintain a relationship for longer than 5 years. I can connect with pretty much any one for the short term, but what I question is, what is it about me that prevents me from getting over the long term hump?
I have plenty of relationships I know fulfilled whatever limitations the purposefulness was - why, in fact, it existed. But, there are those few that lurk - that concept of why people share themselves only to walk away.



Is that who I am?
Is that what I have done to people in the past?
Have I finally hit the glass ceiling of relationship purpose based on who I have been in the past and what I am capable of offering or fulfilling?

photo courtesy Adam Russell

Cats in Strollers

Everyday that passes, especially working at an international airport, I believe I have finally seen it all.
Today, at the park, topped all visuals.
Winner of the 2010 Crazy shit of the year award.
I was on my usual run at the park.
I finished and got into my car when I noticed a gaggle of geese (ducks, whatever the dirty birds that do not fly, yet walk around the park honking and shitting everywhere) rushing towards the lake off the path. Naturally, I looked to see what was making them hurry out of the way.
What I saw was a woman getting out of her car. Next to the car was a stroller - parked, like most of the mommies at the park who bring the infants out for their morning run. She was not pulling a small child out of the car. She was holding on to a cat. A full grown, huge, maniacal cat, that was by all accounts desperately trying to get out of her arms to chase down the gaggle that was getting away.
This woman was whispering to the cat, then moved it towards the stroller. Yes, she was placing the cat into the stroller for a walk.
Have I lost my mind?
I have seen a cat on a leash.
I have seen a cat in a bike pull with a small child.
Who puts a cat in a baby stroller for a walk around the park?
And who married her crazy ass?
She is home during the day, with time to go on a walk, with her cat... in a frigging stroller.

Now, I realize I am not the pet lover everyone perhaps thinks I should be, but let me explain a couple things. Animals belong outside. We, as selfish slave owning humans, decided that we would domesticate animals and bring them into the house, feed them, bathe them, take them out of their natural habitat and own them. Fine, whatever. How cute. Let's put a sweater on it and put it in our purse.
When animals do get outside they are in heaven. Smelling the fresh air. Chasing a few ducks.
Like Darwin said, eat or be eaten.
When did we get so bored with our own lives that we decided it was ok to push around pets in strollers, not only forcing our culture on them, but preventing them from participating in their own culture?

So, I decide to look this up - see if "everyone is doing it", and I'll be damned...google "cat strollers". You won't believe it.

This woman apparently had the ultralight pet stroller, but her cat had to be at least 30 pounds, so I'm thinking she should have gone with the Jogger Pet Stroller, which looks a bit roomier.


Unbelievable.

Disappointing Stereotypes

I live downtown. Part of my agreement in living in an urban environment is parking curbside in front of my residence. Seems reasonable, yes?
Well, in order to park in front of my home, or on the street in general in downtown Denver, as in most domiciles of the city, it requires a parking permit. A free permit which you may obtain by strolling into the Department of Parking Works downtown (a mere few blocks from my house) and showing proof of residence. No big deal. The sticker is placed on the front window of your vehicle(s) and they even offer up to 2 guest permits (window hangars) for guests who wish to remain at your home for longer than 2 hours (which is the parking time limit for street parking). Every year thereafter, you may renew via mail by simply signing a form stating all previous info remains the same.
On September 3, 2010, I resubmitted info for the permit I already have and requested my two guest permits, via mail.
On September 24 (noted via mail stamp on envelope) I received this form letter:
We received your application for a Residential Parking Permit. You did not enclose the proper documentation to obtain a Residential Parking Permit. Please submit the following items that have been marked:
*to follow in the form letter, were numerous items which had no relevance to my situation, but I read diligently, wondering what could I have possibly forgotten, the small form only required drivers license number and signature - confirmation all information on record was the same.

I then reached the highlighted area, which someone duly took time to check and highlight for me, in case I wasn't intelligent enough to comprehend the marked line:
"Any outstanding parking tickets need to be paid before a residential parking permit can be issued. Please contact the Parking Cashier Office for further assistance"
AND
"Please return all required documentation including documents previously submitted"
[I highlight in bold because that's how it is highlighted in the letter]
Note: date I submitted request for new permit: September 03, 2010
Note: date letter stamped via PostMaster September 24, 2010
and
Note: date parking ticket I received (apparently in anticipation of request for parking permit):
September 21, 2010 1:13 p.m.
I can only assume, after driving downtown and being ticketed for "parking 18 inches away from curb" in front of banking structure, for 4 minutes while I used atm, the Residential Parking Office connected the license plate to the request for renewal and immediately sent out required form letter.

Here are my issues:
1) In effect, if the government is so prompt in sending out form letters to reject permits, why are they not so prompt in sending out permits... when request was sent 1 month prior to expiration and 3 weeks prior to vehicle being ticketed?
2) The definition of "outstanding"[out-stan-ding]

–adjective

1.

prominent; conspicuous; striking: an outstanding example of courage.

2.

marked by superiority or distinction; excellent; distinguished: an outstanding student.

3.

continuing in existence; remaining unsettled, unpaid, etc.: outstanding debts.

4.

(of securities and the like) publicly issued and sold or in circulation.

5.

standing out; projecting: a stiff, outstanding fabric.

6.

Archaic . that resists or opposes.

or opposes.

—Synonyms
1. eminent. 3. owing, due.

A. The ticket received on September 21, 2010 is not due until October 11, 2010 - hardly OUTSTANDING

B. There is an option to dispute the citation, which I fully intend on doing, for number of reasons - primarily, the one which indicates I was not parked 18 inches or more from the Goddamned curb. [Oh, you know I have photographic evidence in my favor]

3) Even if I had paid the citation the same day, placed my check in the mail on the eve of the 21st of September and it had been received on the afternoon of the 22nd or 23rd of September, there is no way in hell this letter could have been adjusted on the same day and my citation information updated to reflect payment by the afternoon of the 23rd before this mail went out on the 24th. That would lead to a massive inconsistency with the timeliness of the government and the original issue with why it took 3 weeks to produce my Permit in the 1st place.

WHAT GIVES?
This form letter, addressed to no one, is in fact an indication of everything wrong with the government and the impersonal attention given to tax paying, law abiding citizens who do indeed attempt to do the right thing all the time, pay tickets on time and choose to live on the right side of the street and are treated as common criminals with no INTENT to continue to do the right thing, even though proven historically.
I have no history of unpaid parking tickets (with Denver at least). In fact I have had only 1 parking citation in the last two years which were shown "paid" on the form letter they sent me. Yet, I am being held hostage to get a parking permit to park on the street in front of my house until I pay a parking ticket received 3 weeks after renewal application.
I don't bitch about much, but I am not appreciative.
In fact, I have composed a similar letter to the Department of Public works expressing my disgust at their offensive form letter and unfortunate display of stereotypical government "red tape" games, and indicated not only would I not be wasting my time (stamps, envelopes, etc) re-submitting application, but I would instead be parking my vehicle in my fucking garage, and expressing as powerfully as possible the ineptness of our city and state policies via word of mouth, and every social networking tool which maintains an audience.

Sexual Harassment and the English Language

"I have more than 9 years making my job..." ~ Ines Sainz

This was part of the response to the accusations of the Jets players (and coaches) by Ines Sainz this morning on the Early Show on CBS. Apparently after being hazed in the locker room while attempting to interview Jets player, Mark Sanchez, Ines tweeted her discomfort. While she did not formally charge the team, fellow reporters did. She has also since accepted a direct apology from the Jets team. She has denied her initial, "uncomfortable" feelings and is now stating it's no big deal.
Ms Sainz did state she has been in numerous locker rooms and done over 250 interviews with top athletes. She probably did not anticipate the national coverage of her statements via Twitter, and now possible repercussions of her statements. She had an invitation to the boys club and other professionals are threatening that invite with their public statements.
She wants to be viewed as a professional, as she should be, and takes her career very seriously.

That being said, in listening to her response, I was surprised by her grasp of the English language (or lack thereof). I understand she is a foreign reporter. But levels of professionalism and a basic comprehension of the language in the country where you report (or simply work for the rest of us) would seem to be necessary. I mean I've seen craigslist ads which require a grasp of the English language, why not a position which is seen and heard throughout the nation by a large percentage of Americans, on television, no less? Across the board, when you are masterminding an international media driven profession, shouldn't you be held to the same (if not higher) bar as everyone else in the country?

photo via changeinatmosphere.com

Maybe not.

I wish I was an international reporter, eh, English, it's just for silly Americans.

Remember...

Today marks the ninth anniversary of 9/11.
Today is my mother's birthday, *Happy Birthday Mama*.
Two weeks ago to the day, my son celebrated his 9th birthday.
Nine years ago today I watched in horror as terrorists took away our sense of security with a well planned attack against our country. With a new baby, I remember sobbing for 2 days thinking, "How could I have brought a child into such a horrible world."

Today, a new friend climbs stairs in honor (and respect) of the downed firefighters from 9/11; the men that sacrificed their lives everyday, but actually gave them for us on this day, nine years ago.

I work this afternoon at the airport. Silently, we all know what the impact of this tragic event nine years ago has had on the airline industry, but do we acknowledge the men and women who go to work in an airplane everyday to help restore America's faith in the industry?

I have been asked numerous times over the years how 9/11 affected my choice to become a flight attendant, and was that what prompted me to stop flying. Most people that know me know I did not become a flight attendant until after 9/11, and part of my choice was directly pinpointed at normal people doing normal things to do their part to keep this country (not only safe) but fearless. If women and men, no different than me (moms, students, housewives, writers) can stand up for our country, we all can.
I thought, if I can bring my smile to work everyday and make people feel better about flying... more safe... not afraid of what lurks... just enough to maybe do it one more time, I've done my part.

I would hope today every American takes at least one moment to think about 9/11, not just to remember the awful event that happened, but to recognize the impact of what each of us can do to stand strong in light of what happened. We all lost that day, but what can we gain today?

*no pictures...just memories today*