What's it all Matter?

What is this obsession we all have with "mattering?"
If we are all here simply to evolve, why do we all need recognition of the process?
Whether it be from our parents, or a mentor, a boss, society, our peers, God...why do we all subscribe to the notion that we have to please someone in order to have found success?
No success is different. No recognition is more powerful.
And we crave it.
My dad didn't love me enough, so I sought out a teacher. I didn't get the recognition I thought I deserved in college, so I sought out a career which would fill that void. I didn't mesh with my associates, and work was not a match for me, so I sought out more education and a mentor. I grew up. I sought out spirituality and the light of God. I can't hear Him, so I seek further.
I am never satisfied with my accomplishments because there is always the never-ending desire to have someone believe and speak that we matter.
When I pray, I expect an answer. Something. A sign. A motion. A word. Silence. Something. As I age and realize that silence is the only time we can hear the reality of our existence, the only time we can think and just be. This is the most difficult space to be in - the time we only have accountability to ourselves. The moment we realize why we need to matter to someone else.
Because only mattering to ourselves would give us too much power.
Power to succeed. Power to be everything we have dreamed in life. Power to be the light in the world that makes change and gives love.

Is this just me? I don't think so. I live my life and am a happy person. I strive for perfection, for better. All the time.
I give my kids everything I can give.
I try and love unconditionally, but I always notice, in the back of my mind, when/ if, I am getting any love back. From the Universe, from my peers, from God.
I have always believed if you give enough you will get it back.
When you don't get it back you tend to stop. To cease giving what moves the world. But, the fact is, when you aren't getting anything back is when you should give more. That is when your power will shine.
When we look at leaders such as MLK and Mother Teresa, and artists like Bob Marley - if people like that stopped giving love and making a change in the world when they weren't getting anything back in return, we would be cavemen. We need more of them and less of us (if that makes sense).

I know that giving, fundamentally, is not for the purpose of receiving anything in return, but simply because it is natural and the right thing to do. But, everyone has limits. Moments when they realize they are in a world that does not give back. Our ego will not let us continue give to an non-reciprocating audience. Having the internal strength to continue to matter to oneself and not to anyone else, is the most powerful love in the universe and will change the world.

Music exemplifies this theory:
Clapton
Gaither Vocal Band
P.O.D.
Michael Jackson
Celine Dion
Whitney Houston
Bob Marley Playing for change

Welcome to San Francisco

We arrived late last night and with bags waiting at the airport, I thought, this was really meant to be. BART was also waiting and so was our sweet little hotel room.

When I saw this sign thought of the recorded message everyone who arrives in Denver gets to hear as they depart the train which carries all passengers from the concourses to the main terminal at Denver International Airport..."This is Mayor John Hickenlooper...welcome to Denver", and I thought Mayor Hickenlooper needs a sign.
I fully look at today as the first day of my life...again. An opportunity to take in life. An opportunity to learn something new, to acknowledge people, to love someone, to smile and breathe. I have had forty one years of fantastic stuff, today I would like to begin my forty-second year very aware of life itself and the movement I make within it.

Denver...My City

I fell in love with Denver within 3 days of moving here. I have lived all over the world and initially the attraction to snowboarding and hiking, and all the outdoor activities Denver has to offer year round is what inspired me.

The longer I lived here, the more I realized what a charmer Denver really was. As a community, Denver tries with all it's heart to offer everything any big city has to offer; fantastic restaurants, marketable and fashionable retail shops, a sporadic, yet solid nightlife, and even a young but workable rail system. Denver shows up.

This weekend Denver housed the People's Fair, a community driven free event where live music is showcased among local artisans and food vendors. For 2 days at Civic Center Park locals and tourists alike can mill around taking in the sights and sounds of what Denver has to offer.










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Simultaneously, downtown, La Piazza dell'Arte, which is advertised as the Rocky Mountains preeminent street chalk event, took place. This event brought chalk artists from all over the world to the streets of Larimer Square right downtown in our fair city.


This outdoor fair encouraged locals and tourists alike, to find the artist within themselves and draw, photograph and really enjoy the city streets in a new light.


Even European artists showcased their brilliant concepts on our art friendly streets as we soaked in in like a fresh ray of sunlight after a long, gray winter.


Kids and dogs alike, families, couples and even the mayor enjoyed this beautiful weekend in Denver connecting with the community. Making Denver a great city to live and love.
The all weather fans never forget what this city has to offer year round, boasting Pro teams in all sports. Go Broncos!

Denver...My City.