Thursday, March 10, 2011

Signs from the Universe...reality or perception?

I had a huge interview for a job I really, really want. A lifestyle change. Movement in the direction I see my life going...sooner than later.
I had a conversation with a supervisor before I went to the interview about timing. Is it the right time for this? Am I committed to the lifestyle with my challenges regarding family and scheduling? Is the freedom I seek ready for me yet?

Day of the interview:
I woke up at 330a, checked the weather channel to make sure I wouldn't come into any issues with my flights, got to the airport early, had a coffee and some breakfast, checked the internal weather site to confirm there were no issues with my particular flights. I felt confident of the route I chose - I was on an originator (which means it would take the word of God or a mechanical to keep this plane from leaving on time) and I was connecting to a flight which was an inbound originator.
My originator was delayed...God had spoken in the form of a mechanical.
I started to panic after a half an hour and asked the Ops agent if I should get off and try to find another flight. She said, "nah, you'll be fine - only 5-10 minutes late". OK, and I sat back down.

When I arrived in KC to transfer to my flight into Dallas (which is where my interview was scheduled), I was 30 minutes late and fortunately (and unfortunately) my connection was delayed as well. The originator from Milwaukee had been delayed by weather. Again.. had God spoken?
I asked what the arrival time would be and I started making phone calls. I was stuck in KC now. Should I just go back to Denver? Should I show up late, knowing that is the worst way to make an impression? Should I play my cards, go to Dallas and just get the 1st flight back to Denver if I am too late? I had so many questions going through my head. Simple things, it seems, but when you pride yourself on timeliness, integrity and creating the space in life you want - this was the worst possible scenario for me.
I left a message with my recruiter.
I talked to my current supervisor, who was very supportive.
Then I sat down and tried to calm down - almost impossible at this point when I thought about all the juggling I had done to just get to this point. Then the tears came. I tried to breathe and fight them off, but they just came pouring out. I ran to the restroom to hide my embarrassment. I said to myself, "This is not the time to fall apart". I continued to breathe deeply and decided to carry on - cause that's how I roll. "I'm not turning back now", I thought.
I got on the plane and texted, "how long to get to HQ from the airport". Ten minutes was the response, so I thought, if I could land by 1130a (an hour behind schedule at that point) I could run, grab a cab, and possibly still make it.
The flight attendant informed me the flight would land at 1125 - giving me 20 minutes to make it.
BUT, the flight did not land at 1125 - it landed at 1140, and even after sprinting like OJ Simpson through the airport, grabbing a cab, and making it to HQ in about 8 minutes, I was still 10 minutes late. And my group had already departed for the physical part of the exam, and I had missed the meet and greet.
At this point, the tears began to flow again, I guess indicating how much I really wanted this job, or maybe just a sign of my embarrassment and pride. Regardless, it stung.
I got through the morning.
I waited for my 1 on 1, simultaneously waiting to be told I could just go home - I would not be interviewed that day. It was painful.
I got the opportunity to speak to one of the recruiters while I waited and he made me feel very much at ease, and helped me relax a little bit.
I was called in for my 1 on 1, and got two of the most entertaining, fantastic recruiters I could have ever asked for. Erika and Ron made me feel comfortable and at ease, mentioned "we are family" and proceeded with the questions. It was the best interview I have ever had in my life. I understood the intent of every question and felt that I presented myself professionally, with a Southwest spirit and good humor. I actually apologized for my nervous comedic sense of humor before we began and I think I lucked out with my light-hearted panel.
I walked out relieved.
With the knowledge that I gave 100%, from beginning to end. Smiles all the way. Just being me.
100% and that's all I can do, and even if I do not get this position, it is only because it wasn't meant to be this time, and life goes on.

As I left our HQ, brimming with people and excitement (I often think of my final years with the company that I love as my career path will eventually lead me to a retirement in this environment I love so much) I stepped out into the sunlight and realized what an amazing day I had chosen to travel. There were many people waiting for the shuttle.
We boarded the employee shuttle to the airport (by departure time, because there were so many people waiting to get home after visiting HQ this week, and some waited for the next shuttle as a courtesy - because that's the kind of company I work for. We all take care of each other.) and made our way back to Dallas Luv Field.
I looked for my next flight - breezed through security and found myself at the gate of yet another delayed flight. I worried about my connection back home now, thinking about Saunders waiting for me to arrive. I also knew the next flight was full (overbooked) and if I couldn't take the jumpseat, I would not make it back home until late late late.
I went and grabbed a sandwich, realizing I hadn't eaten for almost 12 hours. As I sat and ate my turkey and provolone, I thought about the day and looked outside where the trash on the tarp swirled in circles, around and around under my window. I wondered if this was a sign from the universe telling me, it may be too hard, or if it was a reminder of what some days would look like. Round and round the inconsequential things swirled.
I hadn't had a day like this in years. I do not live in a world of chaos. I like control and order in my life like things in their place and I like a schedule. Not that I don't have the excitement gene, and can't get off schedule, but I like knowing my options up front.
I am a flight attendant. No matter what other job I do, my heart is in the air. I would love to follow my heart with a company that I love but if it isn't meant to be, I am quite capable of finding the next path and jumping on it.
I waited in line as my aircraft boarded and realized we were now 45 minutes delayed. My connection time was not that great. I went back to the gate agent and asked what time my flight for Denver would connect and if I should make other arrangements. She said my connecting flight was delayed by 20 minutes and I should be fine. I looked up and saw another flight going to San Antonio where I could pick up my connection - if it left ontime. I took jumpseat on that flight and decided to try and make it...cowboy style. I let the flight attendant know as I boarded that I was trying to make a connection, and if this flight was delayed even 5 minutes, please let me know so I could get off and look for another alternative.
Yeah, man, my head was on now, and I was thinking clearly.
The flight took off ontime.
I arrived in San Antonio with a weird feeling that I should check in again. Even though I had a ticket and a boarding pass. I felt uncomfortable.
Always follow your instincts.
I checked in with the gate agent who initially treated me as if I was way off base, no way would they have deleted my boarding pass to Denver, while I was on the way on a different flight. But, upon further inspection, he realized, that is exactly what happened. For whatever reason, since I was not on the flight I was designated (cause I jumped ship like a renegade pirate), I was no longer on his flight to Denver. He apologized and printed me a boarding pass for the last seat on the plane. That's how close I came to not getting home last night.

and was this a sign, or an indication of things to come?
Perception is reality.

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