Tuesday, April 27, 2010

No good deed goes unpunished

The questions that are posed throughout this article are jaw dropping in their irony:

Good Samaritan left to die in the street

"What's wrong with humanity?"

"I think people are just afraid to step in; they don't want to get involved; who knows what their reasons are?"

"Their reasons are", they don't want to get stabbed to death on the street. The story within the story is self explanatory - we have a "good Samaritan" who steps in to assist and finds himself bleeding to death on the street. "What's wrong with humanity?"
Great question.
Look around.
The homeless population is staggering.
No one wants to help anyone because of the repercussions.
We have homemakers/ neighbors being fined for helping their working neighbors with childcare.
Check out now if you don't want to hear the truth.
We are a country of selfish, money whores, who care more about our presence than our purpose. The few who do take a stand are isolated, labeled and threatened.
We don't take care of our elders, our impoverished, or our sick.
We are a generation of "me".
I will revert back to my mantra of the 90's "stand for something or shut the fuck up".
And I am guilty.
I walk past homeless people all the time, afraid, curious, saddened. I feel like I do my part, but I think about my kids, and my safety, and I walk on by. I would like to think that I would not walk past someone bleeding in the street. I know in my heart I wouldn't, but I have walked past many a drunk and felt nothing.
Yesterday, a homeless man approached me and immediately I tensed up. I have been accosted by homeless men before - felt up by a bum in the metro in Paris. So, my fears are not unwarranted, but I try to look at each individual as a new experience. As the man approached, he asked if I was Jesus, passing out water and apples today. I was emptying my car of groceries and held a gallon of milk in one hand and a bag of apples in the other. I responded, "Would you want an apple" and he joked with me before continuing on his way, with no apple, but a joke in his spirit.
A human being on the street.
20 seconds of contact.
No harm, no foul.
Tomorrow that man could be laying dead on the street trying to assist my neighbor.
It's not right.
What are we going to do about it?
What do you stand for?

Monday, April 26, 2010

Shades of gray

In perspective of my last blog on being smiley, I thought about the people who have touched my life and given me insight into why I am the way I am.

I have been told, "Everything is not always black and white", "The grass is not always greener", and I understand that. BUT, for me there is only gray area for those who need it to justify their actions. Truth is black and/or white. Justice is black and/or white. Integrity is black and/or white. Life is gray. Perception is gray. Bullshit is gray.

The grass is indeed always greener - this doesn't mean you have to till the neighbors yard, but it's OK to notice the hues of green, to, in fact, want a greener grass in your own yard - to want to work harder to grow your own flowers.

I am not condoning "keeping up with the Joneses", I am simply stating there is always room for improvement or a desire for something better or different - in terms of where your path may take you. Life is simple. The sun rises and sets - grass grows...how green it gets is totally up to you.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

On being smiley

Over the past week, in response to my birthday, I received many wishes; many good thoughts and good energy - affirmations from all over the country, from all my friends and contacts. These affirmations were felt in my heart and soul and were cherished, as are my friends and relationships.
Today, I woke up and I looked around. I searched my room, I looked out the window, I turned the dial on the radio...searching. What was I searching for I asked myself? It hit me.
My inspiration.
I live my life to spread good energy to others. Sometimes I don’t know how I find the energy to get through my own day. Today, it occurred to me – I look for it. I ask for it; whether consciously or unconsciously, I seek it out. I actively search for the good stuff. I look to make good days happen. I listen for the secret music, the lyrics, the sounds that change lives. I look for moments to remind me I am doing the right thing. I am living right. I am staying on path that has been chosen for me.I spend the time thinking about what will make me smile before I go out into the world.
Then I got pissed. All around me everyday are complainers, those who seek out the negative. Those who can’t find anything good in the world around them or in regards to anything they are up to. It's not easy finding the positive, but it is a conscious decision.
We all get out of bed and put one foot down on the floor, followed by the other. We all breathe oxygen and need water to survive. We all crave touch. We all choose how to treat each other and how to live our lives.
I don't think about smiling everyday. I think about the consequence of not smiling. I think about how my actions affect others. I consider how negative energy is poison. I consider how my choices affect the world.
For those who think my life is so great, and that's why I am so smiley and happy - you are wrong. Because I am so smiley is why my life is great, not the other way around. As shitty as my life may get - why would I put that on the rest of the world?
Spreading love feels good, even when I don't.
And it's not easy.
It is not easy being a cheerleader for people around you who can't even cheer for themselves.
But what's harder is listening to people moan and whine because they don't know a different way to be. When I walk outside I don't look for the cracks in the cement. I don't look for the shit on my shoe. I don't smell the foul stench of desperate humanity. I choose to look for the beauty in the world, even when it's gray outside. Even if the sun does not come out that day - I remember what it looks like and treasure when I will see it again.
The sun on my face makes it all worth it. The affirmations from people I love are just a bonus.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

House of Days...my day


The timeless events of life are rarely captured in a moment of historical value.
Memories are great but how often do you get to actually capture a moment of your own personal history in a time capsule so to speak? One of those moments where the Universe spoke to me yesterday sent me on a walking voyage in search of the Golden Gate bridge. On this designed path I stumbled across a special building. A small house which overlooks the Pacific Ocean.
The House of Days is located at the outdoor exploratorium at Fort Mason. "The interior of the Searchlight Building on McDowell Road becomes a projection space where visitors can see a visual record of changing atmospheric conditions over time. Snapshots of the sky taken at regular intervals merge into a grid of pixel-like cells that enable visitors to track and compare weather patterns on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis"(courtesy National Science Foundation).
I passed by this building and wondered what it was, thinking perhaps it was an outlook to the Golden Gate Bridge which I was more than happy to observe from this point in the voyage and stop my walking tour. It was not. As I looked inside the building I could see a map of the sky from the past days, weeks, even months. The last time stamp and view of the sky, at that moment (the moment I chose to stop and view) was April 21, 2010, 4:00p; exactly to the hour, the day and time I was born, 42 years earlier.
Remarkable.
Now I have a historical time-stamp of my birth time and this celebratory trip.
The Universe saying to me, "This is where you were...then."



April 21, 2010, 4:00p San Francisco, CA

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

So much to see, so little time

The Universe sends you tidbits of information all the time. Every moment enlightenment is possible. If you listen to the world, she will speak to you.
My day was filled with the opportunity to see the great gestures of human form, in architecture, in structure, in culture, in art. What I found most awesome was the little things the universe whispered in my ear, "go down this street, I have a surprise for you."
Beautiful homes, with secret gardens...smell the flowers.
Private parks with secret messages...just for you.

Although I saw grand bridges, experienced moments of history, walked streets of importance, ate clam chowder out of a bread bowl, heard at least six different languages, watched small children become empowered, and TRIP BONUS; wandered into a gallery that was showing my favorite artist of all time, the moments that stood out, were the private one's between the universe and me.
She said, "Happy birthday, this gift of life is for you"

A trip down the crookedest street on my birthday

Welcome to San Francisco


We arrived late last night and with bags waiting at the airport, I thought, this was really meant to be. BART was also waiting and so was our sweet little hotel room.

When I saw this sign thought of the recorded message everyone who arrives in Denver gets to hear as they depart the train which carries all passengers from the concourses to the main terminal at Denver International Airport..."This is Mayor John Hickenlooper...welcome to Denver", and I thought Mayor Hickenlooper needs a sign.
I fully look at today as the first day of my life...again. An opportunity to take in life. An opportunity to learn something new, to acknowledge people, to love someone, to smile and breathe. I have had forty one years of fantastic stuff, today I would like to begin my forty-second year very aware of life itself and the movement I make within it.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Vegas and San Francisco

Of course this was the best day ever!
But I will tell you why this was different and sooo outstanding.
I generally have an agenda...an itinerary, and I like to stick to it. Having a plan is a great thing. The combination of coordinating efforts, making and keeping a time-line, and sticking to it, allows for the maximum output of production - In the case of vacations, the maximum amount of time to see and do things is tested.
If I only have 4 days -I want to squeeze in as much sightseeing as possible, as much drinking and eating, and as much cultural intake as possible, before I drop from exhaustion. This is a successful vacation for me.
Yesterday, I released the reigns. I do not have an agenda for this trip, nor do I plan on having one. I found myself saying (more than once), "so what's the plan". I realize there is a learning curve to this. Today, my goal will be to just look around and enjoy. Breathe.
Yesterday, I got on a plane. I lived in the moment. I enjoyed the flight. I got off the plane. I changed my itinerary so I could spend a few hours in Vegas, enjoying the day. It was 85 degrees in Vegas and I deserve a little sunshine on my birthday trip...so I took it.
I found myself in NYNY, happy to have pastrami for breakfast, because at 9a on the eve of your birthday, it seemed perfect. I then had a free craps lesson, which was also perfect because I have always wanted to learn how to play craps, and here I was, wandering around Vegas without an agenda and look what fell into my universe - just what I asked for.


Greeberg's Deli
Vinnie's Special which seemed appropriate because it was indeed special. Pastrami, roast beef, turkey with a slice of muenster. Topped of with the first beer of the day (yes 10a in Vegas), it was splendid!












After the craps lesson, which included a lesson in Vegas etiquette which everyone should be required to take, I made my way back to Nine Fine Irishmen, which is part of the reason I go to the NYNY. This is the best bar on the strip. There is prime beer on tap. Usually accompanied by live music is some form of clog dancing or at least an elderly woman in the front, getting her groove on - which can be highly entertaining for so many reasons.

In the afternoon, I found there is no music, no dancing, no cougars working it out on the dance floor...BUT, to my immense joy, I found out there is a patio which faces the strip and has 100% full access to the reason I got off the plane in the first place - sunshine! Yay for me, I found myself sitting on the patio of Nine Fine Irishmen between noon and 2, drinking Black Velvet's, people watching in Vegas and soaking in the magnificent sun. Life is indeed good.


I looked up in the morning and saw this billboard and I knew it was meant for me. Slow down. Enjoy life. "Toast Life" my friends.

Monday, April 19, 2010

1st Travel Blog of 2010

I leave for San Francisco tomorrow and Napa Valley, and even though I lived in California for years, this trip is different. New beginnings. A new Valley so to speak. I love wine and I have never been to Napa. I have been to San Francisco one time for a wedding and my weekend was packed with everything except touring the city.
This is a real opportunity for me to experience a new space.
It's also my forty-second birthday and this will be a crazy new year for me. I have a new career path. I am experiencing new life callings. My friendships are growing and wilting simultaneously. My kids are growing up. I have new cities to explore. This is my year.
I generally photo-journal my trips with emailed dailies, but I think I will incorporate video this time as well and simply blog. It's a new age right?
So, prepare yourself - four days of experimental video, lots of pictures and raw thoughts about the city of San Francisco and life.
Agenda:
Tuesday, April 20: 7a departure : Quick stop in Vegas - because that's how I roll.
Late afternoon arrival in SFO: Great hotel right in the center of things - a Joie de Vivre Hotel with a Japanese Pop culture theme. Trolley rides and light touring.
Wednesday, April 21, my actual birthday: No day plans, but an evening with Madeleine Peyroux at Yoshi's.
Thursday, April 22: Trek up to Napa for an all day bike tour through the valley sipping wine at various wineries and scoping out the countryside soaking in sunsets and sipping perfect Beaujolais'.
Sleeping hard on Thursday night No doubt!
Friday, April 23: A trip to the Fainting Goat region where I fully intend to get my giggle on.
Returning to San Francisco in the early evening to catch a flight home.
So watch for pics and hopefully, you will smile and giggle as much as I intend to.
Best week ever...before the best year ever~
Take it light my friends!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Friendship and Quality of Life

Over the past few months I have gone up and down, back and forth with a few individuals and our concept of friendship.
Expectations.
Loyalty.
Derivations of Concept.
I have come to the realization that I have expectations which are not acknowledged nor matched on any level. I have spent the past twenty years accepting the fact that near or far, the friends I have made in my 20's are basically the lifelong friends I will have until I die.
We grew up together in some form or another. We experimented together. We had our hearts broken together. We learned loyalty together. I don't and would never speak ill about any of them behind their back. I don't judge them. If I had a conflict of opinion about their lifestyle that didn't directly affect my life, I would keep it to myself. If I had a conflict of opinion which did in fact directly affect or impact me in some way, I would approach them and discuss it. That's how I was brought up. Men talk over whiskey and shake hands when they agree, or agree to disagree. Women don't stab each other in the back with their petty gossip and rumors, in an attempt to hold themselves in higher regard. That's just not how friends treat one another. That's how I was raised. That's how I am raising my children.
If you don't respect someone - don't call them your friend. Don't socialize with them. Don't disrespect them, but live your life and respect and let them live theirs. My Nana once told me - there is enough love for everyone.
I realized I had to challenge myself recently - challenge my Christianity and the Golden Rule, when I wanted to call someone out - to make them feel the way they made me feel with similar judgments and gossip. But, I didn't. I held my tongue. I didn't send the email that was burning a hole in my laptop, because I realized the path of destruction and hurt it would cause. And it simply wasn't worth it. I would rather lose "a friend" than cause a domino effect of unnecessary drama to prove a point and "be right".
Fuck it. I'm old I can be right in my own head. I can't afford to lose a friend, but then again, anyone who would toss me aside as a friend because of their own hypocrisy, wasn't really my friend to begin with.
I am glad I have solid friendships to compare... so, I know right from wrong. Everyone is not that lucky.