Setting the Pace

This morning on my daily run, I followed behind a couple in their late 60's early 70's as they ran the same trail I run. They had a solid pace and as the gentleman set the pace, his wife kept up, although I could tell at times it was a bit of a challange for her. They would run side by side, then she would drop back a bit, then she would catch up and run at his side, but he always maintained the stride to match.

I thought, this is probably a great indication of their relationship.

This is indeed the concept of any solid relationship. Each person has their role. There is a pacesetter on each team. Someone has to be responsible for setting the pace or the action will remain stagnate. I believe when the original vows for marriage were constructed, this was the ideal meaning. The truth behind, "Do you GROOM take BRIDE to be your wife – Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?" Then the BRIDE is requested to repeat the same, yet also include "to obey" the GROOM, for as long as they both shall live.

Nowadays, women don't obey anyone. We're all about equality and power.

This has to be one of the largest reasons for the high divorce rate in this world today.

I am a huge advocate for equal rights, don't misinterpret what I am saying here, but I do believe there has to be a pacesetter in every relationship.

If a woman does not trust her man to be the pacesetter in their relationship, why get married? Why commit your entire life and future to someone you don't trust to guide you through your life together? There is always room for discussion. There should be a mutual respect and commaraderie amongst every couple, but when it comes down to it, why do we as women have to take away the pride men have? Why don't we honor their role and just let them be a man? Under the guise of some sort of stand for equality, why must we twist every natural instinct between man and women and turn it into a pissing match? Equality and marriage do not have to go hand in hand. Companionship and relationship have individual spirit. In every circle of friends there is indeed a leader of some sort, someone who plans outings (gets people motivated), someone who communicates with the circle, someone who brings the food. It is a collaborative effort based on every role. A strong woman exists outside of her relationship with her man. We maintain a home, we work outside the home, we raise kids, we give men reason to make a home. Part of being a strong woman in a relationship is letting your man be a strong man. Emasculating men has become a symbol of women's rights. Is it really? Do we really need to shit on someone else to make ourselves feel better, or indeed stronger?

There is room for strengthening one's self and raising up those around us. All teams function this way...all winning teams that is.

I have struggled with this concept of independance and equality in many aspects of my life. I grew up believing if I wanted something done right, I have to do it myself. This doesn't work so well in relatioship. I don't offer up the opportunity of taking care of any of my needs to another person. I don't give men the opportunity to fail on their own. Or to succeed.
I made choices based on principles and an ideal, when in fact these perceptions do not exist without the belief that they exist.
I passed on a relationship that was "marriage material" because I knew in my heart that this relationship would not measure up to my ideal of what a marriage looked like. Loyalty and integrity were not at the top of this potential partner's priority list. His career was at the top, followed closely by his family, and then his associates. I knew that if I wanted to be in this relationship I would have to sacrifice everything I believed a relationship was supposed to look like. Long lasting love. Companionship. Solidarity and Monogamy. These were things I could not, or would not give up. And I struggle. I look at my life, which is happy and fulfilling and think about how much more financially easy it would be had I sacrificed my emotional stuff in lieu of a "nice" life.

As the couple in front of me progressed further and further ahead of me it occurred to me that perhaps they don't have this ideal either, that this is my story for them. It also occurred to me that perhaps I just needed someone to run with, that this in itself might be a good start. Someone to set the pace.

Trash the Dress Photo Shoot - MHP

Trash the Dress with Mile High Photographers - Photo Shoot

This was a fun day and an amazing shoot with a great group of photog's. I tried to group my favorites by photographer (and I'm still missing Kevin B's, one of my favorite photog's ever, but I will add his later). So, hire these people, they are amazing to work with. Even as a model, I haven't worked with such an overall great group.

We will begin with Paige Elizabeth:

The next photographer is Lindsey MacDonald:

Autumn Burke:

These Final photos are photographers that did not label their disk(s): so I unfortunately cannot give them the credit they deserve, but they are equally amazing.

Hiking 14R's...Mommy style

So, I have been dying to do a 14R since I moved here, but really just hadn't gotten around to it. Then my girlfriends suggested a seminar at REI to learn the do's and dont's - then we decided to just plan it and go. Well, per usual, my childcare situation didn't quite work out and I realized I can't keep waiting. I'll just take the little one with me. The instructor of the seminar mentioned he had taken his children on many 14R's so I thought, my kid can do this. If it takes all day, we can do this.

Yeah.

Oh, and it did take all day...kicking and screaming...Oh my head!

I chose Gray's Peak because it was the shortest of the nearest 14,000 + foot mountians in the area. So, 7 miles round trip could be a reasonable hike for anyone.

And... if it worked out I could scoot over to Torrey's to hit an additional 700 feet and capture 2 14R's in one day.

That is not how it worked out.

It was a challenging day. My son's little body did not have the energy nor the mental capacity for this long hike. Apparently, he didn't have enough water either. The headache he got on the way down was textbook for dehydration at altitude and truly ruined the entire day.

But, what could I do?

I carried him.

I hoisted him on my back with my backpack on his back, and carried his little body down the hill to the car. I'm still sore.

Lesson learned for everyone.

14R's are for grown folk.

The give and take, the unknown and the known, the hot and cold, the rise and fall of relationship

I am working on a new book. It is a subjective analysis of dating and relationships from the point of view of 4 different women. Four novellas. Completely separate, yet all connected.
Today as I research each woman and outline characters, I am building relationships with each one. This is always the fun part for me because it is a very emotional connection I have with each character in order to make them believeable. One of the characters gets on my nerves already. She is a typical girl, "why doesn't he love me anymore...what did I do"? I'd love to have interaction with one of my stronger characters, to relay the message, "He has just given you the opportunity to be loved by someone who gives a shit".
I realize in this project, I have a Sybil type commentary going on, and if I could weave that into the storyline, I think I will have overcome my biggest obstacle; getting my point across without making my chracters too typical.
For myself, I spent the same amount of time as most women after a failed relationship wondering, what I could have done differently, or why I was no longer interesting. Until, I heard the same commentary over and over again from every woman I know. This commonality of hurt after some guy is just done.
He moves on to the next best thing, and women wonder what they did.
As an adult, I have about 5 minutes for that conversation, whether in my own head or out of someone else's mouth. When a guy goes from calling 5 times a day, to calling once a week, I don't ask myself, "why"? I know men are built that way. The same things that attract us are the same things that push us away. Men have short attention spans.
It is challenging to write for both types of characters as my kneejerk reaction is to run. Some of these characters(well most) don't do that, they wait, and they ponder and they question everything about themselves until their self-esteems are whittled away to nothing.
I am having trouble with this character, so I'm going to try to make it fun. Kind of an opposites game. If Summer would change her number and meet 10 new men this week, what would Autumn do? If Summer would throw a divorce party in Bali, what would Autumn do?
If Summer would move to Australia for the summer determined to find the fling of her career, what would Autumn do?
OK, I'm on a roll now.