Celeb Sighting in Vegas

Disney Actress, Bella Thorne from "Shake it Up" with Saunders and Maddi

Mirror of the future

I had the pleasure of sitting between two elderly women on a full flight from Salt Lake City to Las Vegas. During the course of the flight, I spoke briefly with both women before analyzing my encounter with each, and the value.
The woman in the window seat was sophisticated and glamorous. She wore a short haircut (Halle Berry style), silver and fabulous. Her clothing style was eclectic and polished. She came across as a retired actress or artist of some sort.
The woman in the aisle seat reminded moreso of a retired teacher or social worker. She carried a more classic, casual style of dress, and wore her hair curled but short in the back - more tailored for a boutique look.
I felt I was sandwiched between San Francisco and West Palm Beach, if that makes sense.
At some point during the one hour flight, it occurred to me that each of these women represented one portion of myself. I was being mirrored, in the future, on each side of my physical and inner personality.
One woman read an original short story which had been types and sent to her, while the other read a traditional novel on a Kindle. The same woman, in theory, but so very different.

My personal struggle for a sense of style, glamour, and fabulosity constantly challenges my desire to just be. The inner growth vs the social perception of who I am. My desire to learn and grow and not care how others perceive me and my internal need to achieve what I want to accomplish in this lifetime financially and socially as well.
We are all conflicted with what society deems successful and what the universe gifts us and is indeed innately successful. And how do we achieve and balance both?

Watching them.
Thinking about how I will age.
What will I take away from this lifetime, finally?

Connecting

The Universe is an amazing place. The concept of the earth and all the planets, the sun and the moon is so vaste - no human will ever have the capacity to wrap their head around what an expansive, energized powerful world we live in.
I have always been intrigued with the concept of fate. What drives fate? The power of the universe and human thought. Karma. Effective, powerful thinking - in terms of making things happen for you. Positive thinking in terms of change. Are we indeed all catalysts for our path?
I believe so.
I do believe firmly that every step you take is a force to making your life work for you.
The power of thought is beyond any physical force you can imagine.
I have a hundred stories, if I have one, of the power of thought and how my life has benefited from the power of my own mind.

I have always believed that success comes from hard work and integrity. This is how I live my life. Exuding positive energy from the moment I wake up until I drop with the moonlight is part of what makes me feel accomplished. Being honest without hurting people. Not being a user. Giving 100% because it's the right thing to do, not because someone tells me to - because your actions do affect people. The cycle of intent is even more powerful than actions themselves.

I had a difficult year. I finally found a great job in a great environment with people that I like, doing something I really love - after a year of unemployment and a tremendously desperate outlook. My integrity for success kept me afloat for a long time. After finding a great career match, I struggled with the after effects that a year of unemployment imposes. I kept my head up. I never let a day go by when I did not remember I was a role model to two amazing kids that I would never let go without - without food, without shelter, without pride.
I tried to never get ahead of myself in my worry. Never think about next month...just get through the day, and the week. Slowly but surely, this year got better. I caught up on my current financial issues. I paid back borrowed monies. I pay my rent on time. I looked forward to the end of the year, the holiday season, and New Years Eve (which is my favorite holiday) as the renewed life of my lifestyle. Getting back on my feet has never been so important or so integral to my future and the future of my kids.
I didn't know if I would be able to afford Christmas presents, or not, this year, and not that I didn't care, but I was so happy to have food and a home that it really didn't matter. Somehow, I had gotten through the year with the help of my friends, carpooling my children to and from school while I worked, lending a hand when I couldn't see the reach. My friends (and neighbors) showed up, and I can't thank them or be grateful enough - Douglas, Jessi, Rhonda, and at the end Jen & Scott - you have no idea how much your generosity has meant to me when I had no one to help me. I was reminded constantly that I am alone then quickly reminded that I have a circle of love around me bigger than my physical boundaries. And I am grateful.
I met a generous soul at the airport (which seems to be the conduit for all my energy lately), and this person was kind enough to give me tickets to a football game. This seems like a simple thing, but I would never have been able to afford such a gift for my son this year, and to see his favorite team to boot...my environment and the positive energy I create, again, gifted me with something for my children. At Christmas.
I was lucky enough to meet some great people this year who have done great things for me and never made me feel inadequate because I had a hard year. I have been humbled and revived.
I am blessed.
I will never deny the power of thought, the power of attraction, and the gift of the universe if you are open and believe.

The Holidays

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"...Charles Dickens had something there.
You see the best of human spirit and kindness and the worst of mankind come out during the holidays. Just add liquor and too much sugar...
I look forward to the holidays, but I am also very conscious about how much time I can spend with certain family members, how much egg nog to have, and what years I should just fly to an island and retreat.
People lose their minds during the holidays - the stress of travel is just the beginning. At the airport, thousands and thousands of families are crossing the country to reconnect during this special time of year. The smiles and the giggles have just as much impact as the tears and the screaming matches. My heart breaks every day during this season, but is filled with the love that is pouring through this vehicle of family connection. The children are so excited to tell you they are going to Florida to see Grandpa and Santa will find them ...even in Orlando.
Or the thousands of Unaccompanied Minors who all have a story to tell you about skiing in Aspen, or how their dad is always late picking them up.

There is much to be said about unresolved family issues that explode during the second course of Christmas dinner. Aunt Madge makes a simple comment about Dad's job, "Hey, how did that new promotion work out", and Dad throws a biscuit across the table. Years of Aunt Madge "putting him down...he'll never be good enough", etc etc is what Dad heard. Meanwhile Mom is throwing back G & T's in the kitchen because Grandma has been hovering over the turkey all day, "helping".
Funny enough, as different as every household looks like, they are remarkably similar. Every family has their good times and their bad times. It's when they pull together at times like the holidays when each gets to see how special they are.
Spread love this season. Try to remember that everyone is hanging on to something that was way more important to them than you know, and just let it go.

Find the mistletoe, and let it go.
This Christmas..

May September Romance

Recently discussing with a friend about age, relationships, and compatibility - the topic of May September romance came up.
The concept of older men/ younger women is usually accompanied by the stereotype of gold diggers, whereas older women/ younger men equate the idea with cougars and sexual prowess of the older woman - a typical Mrs Robinson.
Why the disparity in concept for the same style relationship?

From HubPages:

"In general, the pros of the relationship include stability, learning from one another and lust. The latter is what tends to drive these relationships initially but that can be said of most relationships. It tends to merge into a sort of infatuation/appreciation that works for many couples over time. In general, these relationships tend to be more stable than other relationships because the older party tends to be patient and forgiving in a way that isn't true when dealing with your peers. The age difference tends to create a learning environment because each partner is in a different stage of life (and perhaps comes from different generational beliefs) which means that they are regularly faced with the opportunity to educate and inspire one another. These are all things that contribute to the positive end of the relationship.

On the flip side, there tend to be some power imbalances in these types of relationships. That stability can turn into a patronizing attitude that leads to resentment in the relationship. Additionally, there are a myriad of problems that being in different life stages can present. The biggest is whether and when to have children together. There are also problems with being in different career stages and having different priorities in life because of age. These are certainly problems that can be overcome but are challenges that tend to be present in the May-December romance." Kathryn Vercillo, author

Personally, I find that younger men seem to be able to keep up with my level of physical activity moreso than men my age but, (and a big but) intellectually and socially, we are on very different planes.
Considering I spend most of my free time doing outdoors or athletic activities - I am a physical person; running, biking, hiking, skiing, traveling, playing. I can't imagine my life without sports and a physical outlet, or a partner to share those things.
I think as I get older I realize the same things that we look at men cockeyed for - chasing around hot bodies, thinking very selfishly - women, as we get older have the same thoughts. I simply believe we are more prone to have considerations of others which we tend to put before ourselves and our needs. Kids, parents, society - these are all factors in our decision making process. Whereas men don't tend to have the same priority in choosing a partner.

The concept of an arm-piece for a man in his September prime toting around a young hottie brings to light the blatant obvious. Men like toys - a little arm candy. What better accessory to that new Porsche than a twenty-four year old strapless dress in CFM heels? And for women it's no different, I could perch my purse on the bar but why not have Adonis hold it?
Who needs stimulating conversation at home?
I have had conversations with men and women, both, 20 years my junior, and I will be the first to admit, it is entertaining at best. There is no reference point. There is no commonality. I revert back to my statement above, the most we have in common is physical activity. On the slopes there is no age. At the top of a Fourteener, there is no age gap in exhilaration. But, at the bar afterward there could be large blocks of silence.
Part of what is so fantastic about meeting someone is sharing life experience; not just today, but the humor in tomorrow and the history of yesterday.

Here's the thing, everything in life is analyzed on some level. Age, race, class, success, power - all these things offer valid points on the speculation of success (or failure) of any relationship. Every relationship has it's reason for being, so to speak. We are still human beings, growing, learning at every level. If any relationship lasts longer than three dates in this day and age, bravo! Give yourself an "attaboy".

coercion

My meatballs have been called, "seduction meatballs". It was recently brought to my attention that I could likely get whatever wanted by preparing and serving them.
I like to think I would never use them in an evil manner, simply to coerce.
The concept of coercion is only successful when the person being coerced wants to do the task at hand anyway. Perhaps they are sitting on the fence. Undecided. Waiting for that push in any direction.
Meatballs are not going to convince a nun to commit murder. But they MAY inspire a few, "yes,dears",
and I will take them.
So everyone always asks, "what's in your meatballs?"
The ingredients themselves are not that outstanding. It's the aura of the meatballs that makes them special.

So, here is the recipe, and you can tell everyone you know, it's your own...because it will be ~

ground pork OR
lean ground beef
hot italian sausage
(or any combination of these items including lamb)
1 egg
bread crumbs (I prefer sourdough or French) at least 1 cup
diced pepper or jalapeno (about 2 TBLs)
salt and pepper to taste

The sauce:
Your favorite sauce
add one cup of your favorite wine - I prefer a pinot or merlot for the sauce
1 teas of Worcestershire sauce
dash of Luisiana hot sauce

make balls and drop in sauce
simmer until balls are thoroughly cooked (about 40 minutes) tossing in the sauce and stirring frequently
prepare your favorite pasta (I love angelhair, b/c that's what my Nana always made) and pour sauce (and balls) over pasta
sprinkle with parmesan
EAT

Still wondering what makes these balls so tasty?

It's the love of making them for your family or friends.
The love that goes into the balls it what makes them so wonderfully delicious.

Freedom

The subject of freedom has arisen in response to a blog on monogamy and marriage.
OSHO's POV on Marriage/ Freedom
The concept that marriage in fact restricts (and in effect denies) freedom(s).
More irony of our country.
We are one of the only countries that stands and fights for freedom. All freedoms: speech, carrying firearms, religion, a vote, etc. We built a declaration signed by all the important dudes of the time, and endorsed by all the other important dudes of the time, yet when it comes down to personal satisfaction, we don't seem to grasp this same concept.
We can fight for freedom as a country, but not as a couple?
Really?
This explains the breakdown in politics between groups, but it would seem reasonable if we can stand with a group of people who, in general maintain the same ideals for a lifetime (and yes there are exceptions to every rule), that we could maintain the same ideals and grow together with another person who in theory is the one person in life that has your back...for a lifetime.

I propose:
Freedom is a state of mind. No one holds you captive but yourself.
We let external things blind the reality of self.
and let others hold us back with their perceptions and restraints...

A partnership on any level should be the catalyst for developing ideas, and moving forward in this lifetime, not the opposite.
I believe what this fellow was implying was strictly physical. Restricting freedoms, simply implying the freedom to screw other women at will. Well, yes, if that is the case - Don't get married. But if freedom stands for something far more intelligent and fulfilling, and life encompassing, how can you possibly attain a greater freedom tan with those who are on your team? Whether it be a wife, or business partner, or country of people who hold the same truths and hold you accountable for being who you said when you signed up; "I will not cheat you in this business deal", "I will not steal money from you", "I will not deny you a vote in our best interests", "I will not put my penis in other women".
Seems simple to me.
All contracts are binding.
Freedom is a concept that most people do not take responsibility for, for themselves.
Freedom is not something anyone else can take from you.
Freedom is something you challenge yourself to maintain, and encourage others to seek.

It really boils right back down to integrity.

Sister Wives

On the heels of my blog about monogamy, I watched an Oprah episode today about a reality-TV polygamous family. I tried to listen with an open mind. I am still trying to wrap my head around why some guy would need or want four wives and sixteen kids.
Then I listened to the wives discuss how this relationship/ these relationships make them better women. They are able to put others before themselves. They can be more reflective instead of reactive.
This setup actually makes them better people.
So, my confusion, stems from a couple different issues I personally have with polygamy.

There are men all over the world with a wife in their home city and a lover in another city, or even in the same city. If this polygamy thing is so healthy, why aren't more people doing it, and why isn't it legal?

Why are people so judgmental of men with numerous baby-momma's? Is it just the ring they want to see on some woman's finger?

Polygamy itself. I don't like to share my glass of wine. I do not have girlfriends/ sister girls/ any woman I am willing to share my man with. Under no circumstances would it occur to me to have a part time relationship. "I'll take him Tue-Fri, and you can have him Sat-Monday".
No.
This being said, I understand, the reverse situation is deemed vulgar - women are not to take on another husband or male lover.
So, not only are you telling me I may only see you once or twice a week, but I can't even fulfill my own personal needs while you are loving my new BFF, who you are married to as well?
I don't think so.

I just don't get it.
I have friends I can open up to and share things with, and engage in an emotionally free relationship without sharing the man in my life. Women are supposed to have women in their lives that support who they are as women. Other, like souls, who you can laugh and cry and share secrets with - women who know who you are and still love you. No matter what.
They don't need to be sleeping with your husband.

Learning how to share oneself (which I believe is termed unconditional love) usually comes with having children - all these women have children and I would assume the gene that makes them capable of learning to love and give unconditionally. Again, not something you need a man, or 3 other women in your home (and bed) to teach you how to do.

Enlightenment comes from self-awareness, not some guy and 3 other chicks just as crazy and insecure as you.

Hunting...and stuff

Last Summer I blogged on "Camping with your man"...and the Top Ten things you should keep in mind when venturing out into the woods. Hunting is no different. This is man territory. Whether a Hunting Virgin or a Veteran...there is something to be said about wandering out into the wilderness with men, their dogs and guns.
There are rules.
I didn't take a pencil and pad, so I will just say, there are rules, so ask. My biggest fear was that there would be no talking and I would FAIL. I am not sitting anywhere with a group of people for hours on end, and not saying one word. This is outrageous to me. What is the point of bonding if there is no talking? I don't know many humans capable of this type of interpersonal relationship.
I was assured I would be able to talk...when appropriate.


And then we sat...and waited...and waited...


I already appreciated the concept of men, "getting away with the boys", but now I further appreciate the concept of sitting in a "duck blind" or a "tree stand" (Ladies, you should know what these words mean) with a couple other dudes, for hours on end, quietly, waiting for animals to roll by.
It takes patience, and determination - so no matter who your man is in the real world, he has to be a patient, controlled guy to even attempt this feat.
I brought my ipod, so I could at least listen to music while I lurked in the bush.
The gunshots are loud, so be prepared to be continually startled by the sound of gun fire. I have to admit, I live downtown and every so often I hear a couple gunshots, but never, do I hear rounds of shotgun shots, and it is startling, no matter where you come from. At one point when everyone jumped up, kicked down the duck blind and started firing at the group of birds flying overhead, I felt like a war veteran in the middle of a full contact zone with the enemy.
But... this is not what got my heart beating and emotions rolling.
There was a point in the day where one of our hunters clipped a bird and the bird went down slowly. Slowly, slowly... another hunter had to track the bird and end the death process so the goose would not suffer. All I heard was the shot in the distance which I knew was ending the life of another breathing creature.
For a second, I became a bit emotional, thinking about horses that break a leg, or rabid dogs...all the things Hollywood has deemed, "OK" to put an animal down... to end it's suffering. Then I paused...how could I possibly ever eat duck again? I asked, do they make pate from the ducks that are shot down here it the country?
"No", was the answer.
Then OK, I think I will survive this experience.


Then the sun set...

and once again, I had to acknowledge the beauty of a simple existence and how it all started.


How small we are in the big picture.


How man still rolls through the wild to maintain contact with the earth and each other.

Affluence and the Spouting of Economic downfall

This American family is not the exception...they are the rule. They just didn't know it, because they (and the world) think, the rich stand outside the boundaries of personal economic failure caused by world trade.

I have to tell you, I despise when media stories start emerging one after another on the topic of how whatever is happening in American Society right now (or for a decade) is finally impacting the rich and powerful...Or just the rich.

Middle Class Americans have been feeling the pain, faster and harder than the affluent for years now. Hanging on by a thread... still barely feeding their families after the market crash (which one you ask? keep reading), the war, the real estate crash, etc ETC ETC!

Poor people know what it looks like, know how to deal, because they have to...year after year. Struggling to feed their families on minimum wages, and retail sales.
Middle class Americans know what it feels like, because they are only a generation (or three) away from a relative who is living in a trailer and they know that smell.
The affluent try to pretend they have no idea what a depression looks like, and want to deny it's existence, because in that moment it doesn't affect them. But in reality, it does indeed affect everyone. Trickle by trickle, eventually, whether by one less fur coat, or a loss of a summer home, or by the crash of your entire world by excessive spending and ignoring the need to strap the ship tight, everyone feels the crush of a country in economic distress.

In reading the linked article, the only thing that stood out in my mind was "who tries to maintain a millionaire's lifestyle, while accepting a teaching job that pays under the minimum wage"? Twenty grand won't feed one man, much less a family of four and maintain a 650,000 home in Vermont, Who are they kidding?
Live within your means!!!
This is, and has been the main downfall of our country.
We, as a country, have never understood how to live within our means, plan for the future, and be OK with that. Who cares if your neighbor has a horse farm, and a sports car? Are your kids fed and healthy? Can you retire and take care of your family? We have no concept of future. No concept of life without stuff.
Something to think about?

On the topic of Monogamy

I was reading over some of my blogs from last year, and I came across, "The Arrogance of Man"; one of my favorites. It occurred to me that I have not yet tapped into the subject of, the purpose of monogamy.
We all know the religious and community reasons, but who initially came up with the idea?
Is this another Adam and Eve proposal? One man, one woman in a garden as close to heaven as we as humans will get. Did it appear after some fantastically intelligent scientist studied penguins for a decade and decided we should do that too?

"THE QUESTION ARISES: Why is sexual fidelity so rare, even among animals that are socially monogamous? For most evolutionary biologists, the real question is: Why do socially mated females have E.P.C.'s? There has never been much doubt about why males do. Males make sperm, which are extraordinarily small, are produced in amazingly large numbers, and require essentially no biologically mandated follow-through in order for reproduction to succeed. As a result, the optimal tactic for males is typically to be easily stimulated, not terribly discriminating as to sexual partners, and generally willing -- indeed eager -- to fertilize as many eggs as possible. As the sociobiologist Robert Trivers first pointed out in 1972, and as subsequent theoretical and empirical research has shown, males tend to follow a "mixed reproductive strategy," whereby they establish a mateship with a designated female (and perhaps assist in nest building, territorial defense, care of the young, and so forth insofar as those activities increase their reproductive success) while also making themselves available for E.P.C.'s with other females, whom they will not assist." David P. Barash

This all makes sense - the concept of defining relationship boundaries by child rearing. If monogamy is solely needed for the role of parenting, it would follow that single people, really do not need the restriction. BUT, if mainly men, who emit these thousands of sperm indiscriminately, seem to be the one's making the laws about what is deemed appropriate socially - then why?
We are all well aware of the have cake/ eat it theory.
But, if men want to spread seed, then why wouldn't it seem reasonable that they would want open ended "laws" to facilitate that innate desire and simultaneously make it more appealing to the opposite sex?
The concept of fidelity only comes into play as men, who laid the law, and women who have the same desires, get caught. The roles of men and women have changed drastically, but the laws have not.

Personally, with the fear of STD's, and stalkers, and just weirdness in general, there is something to be said about monogamy. But, everyone likes a little spice..something different. Noted.
As I get older I realize it's not the newness I crave as much as the comfortability. But, like in every stage of life, it seems that women and men reach different stages of activity and desire at opposing times of life. Men peak at 17, women peak at 40. Women want relationships at age 25, men at age 50. Who are we supposed to be mating with?
People don't cheat because they just don't want the relationship they are in - it's appealing to have something different. To attract someone on the same track. To have the sports car and the SUV.
I would love to meet someone that fully thinks and believes the same things, at the same time, on the same level of honesty and belief as me. To be able to talk about it with integrity.
When those moments come up...
say something out loud.
Maybe its not about being with someone else, but doing something a little bit differently. Changing it up. But with no repercussion or judgment or pointed humiliation. Just two people who (in concept) really dig each other, and have the type of relationship that allows each of them every thing they need on every level.
Ideal?
Maybe, but that's just me, right?

And sometimes, people just get sick of each other - say that aloud too.

Monogamy...not for everyone, and not forever...sometimes.

Racism, USA Today, and the disappointing cycle of America

Today (Tuesday, November 16, 2010), I came across an article in USA Today which really pissed me off. At first glance I was irritated, but then I read the article again to try and understand why I was so agitated.

I have tried to STOP myself when I get pissed off and acknowledge what my knee jerk reaction is caused by, and effectively think it out.

The title of the article, in fact, is so offensive, I almost didn’t read the article itself, but realized in effect, I was ignoring the war, not another battle. “If young Black men don’t learn now, we’ll all pay later”, is the title of the less than informative article.

If the title weren’t offensive enough, the article goes on to depict a fast food experience the author had with a less than competent cashier, who happened to be Black.

Are fast food cashiers now the select echelon of society’s educated masses, and this poor Black chap happened upon this job by his equal opportunity status, quite unlike the rest of the Blacks in this country - lawyers, doctors, professors alike who happened upon their career paths as well by the gift affirmative action? Are Black men the sole worker bees amassing the up and coming entry level positions across the country regaining the speed and strength of our economically challenged country? Are other cashiers across the country, all races and ethnic backgrounds, who can’t count or read, excused from this article because the issue is, in fact, that Black uneducated men (as opposed to the uneducated masses of Americans who are being spit out of schools daily) are the problem?

As I re-read the article, I realized what was pissing me off was the “so subtle”, but still neck-hair raising, immediate stomach churning statement of racial hatred and stereotype, every minority has felt at least once in his/ her life.

This country stereotypes and perpetuates (through the media) fear of Black men. This article not only fed the monster, but based it’s concept on undisclosed facts and a single experience of the author in a subpar environment. The article, distributed nationwide in a publication I had respect for, until this morning, identified a group of Americans by skin color, and went on to discuss the potential downfall of an entire country by this race in a specified amount of time.

WHAT THE FUCK!

The percentage of Black men in this country isn’t growing at the rate of minorities. And every man with brown skin is not a Black American. Get it right America.

Here we are 2 years into the first glimpse of racial equality, which in effect was another gifted token by the culture of equality and supremacy (and celebrity), showcasing a Black, excuse me, bi-racial President of the US and USA Today is beginning the media infiltration and domination of the next political arena with its racist, taunting depiction of Blacks as a threat - Black man’s ignorance as the future of America. Next, we’ll see the media rise in Black on Black crime, then the rise in Domestic Gang warfare, which stereotypically depicts Black youth.

Sound familiar? We, as a country, are prolific in raising awareness when it suits a political agenda, and guess who wants in office next term? Or, should I say, who we want out of office?

I have traveled extensively. I know why other countries hate the concept of America and the petty, simple, racist, greedy, ignorant Americans who live here. I get it. I am still proud to be able to live by Amendments which created the Freedoms of this country. I am proud to be Black. I am proud to be a woman. I am a cross selection of everything that exists (good and bad) within the history of the U.S. And I will fight for it.

One of the most disturbing issues I had with this article is the fact that it was in the USA Today news section. This paper is in every airport, hotel and business traveler accessible arena across the country. The estimated daily reader count is 1.8 million readers[1].

This article is not only a virus spread faster than Fox News, or Entertainment Tonight, it is the death of education being transmitted like a trash rag to our supposedly educated, passport holding, upper class working America – the people that actually are out there in the world making a difference. Maybe I am not giving enough credit to the educated, who have the opportunity to read and discuss, to form their own opinion, but the fact is, a man with an opportunity to make a statement, and a difference, chose to instead propagate a stereotype. And it is sickening.

Black Americans are fully aware of the split in culture between, as Chris Rock so un-politically correctly stated, Black People and Niggers. Black people are educated and raise kids in four year colleges, with the value of education and strong work ethic, and financial security. Black people resemble the Huxtables, with the now reasonable goal of becoming President of the United States. Then there are Niggers, who write gangsta rap songs(and articles) about our culture, deal drugs, love their bitches and ho's, showcasing how ignorant the young, poor afflicted are, instead of raising up the culture with information and positivity…based on facts, not stereotypes; In fact, stealing from our own history and culture to keep a Black man a negative figurine in the eye of the majority and his neighbor. Whether a drug dealer or a “stereotype pusher”, niggers work the system, to help racists keep Blacks in their place.

Yeah I said it.

The views of this article are solely my opinion – perhaps Mr. Wickham would think about making a similar disclosure next time he writes an article based on one experience he had almost a decade ago.

Hey! DeWayne – the education issue we have in this country is hardly limited to black men. It’s an epidemic, and I deal with uneducated masses daily, with an average percentage of black men being less than 1% of my 3000 person per day customer base.

---

[1] The newspaper vies with The Wall Street Journal for the position of having the widest circulation of any newspaper in the United States, something it previously held since 2003. According to the Audit Bureau of Circulations, the paper has 1.8 million copies as of March 2010^[1] compared to the Wall Street Journal's 2.1 million though this figure includes the WSJ's 400,000 paid-for, online subscribers. USA Today remains the widest circulated print newspaper in the United States. USA Today is distributed in all fifty states, Canada, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam and the United Kingdom. Courtesy Wikipedia :)

Express CheckOut

Express = Faster/ Rapid

In the grocery store -the express lane usually has a limit or restriction attached to it.
*10 items or less
*cash only
In most retail businesses, an "express" offering includes more money.
FedEx offers Express service for an increased fee, as does the Postal Service.

As a country we are well aware of what the term Express means, and why we choose this service.
Yet, in every aspect of life, there are those, who want the service, but are "regular/ full service" customers.

Customers with a full basket of food in the grocery store, who want the shortest line.
YOU are not an express customer. You are a full service customer.

Customers who only have 2 items, but no cash.
Customers who find it necessary to write a check for $8.62 and then can't find their i.d. in their wallet.

At the airport, there is an Express bag check line, where passengers who have already printed their boarding pass at home, can whip through and scan the PRE-PRINTED pass and drop their bags. This line moves three times as fast as the full service line. Of course, everyone wants to be in this line. Passengers who have their shit together are in this line.
This line is not for passengers who have to show additional identification of any kind. If you require a secondary screening - this line is not for you. If you are on a special fare that has to be verified (senior/ youth/ military), this line is not for you. If you have lap children, who's ages need to be verified, this line is not for you. If you are checking a firearm and require additional information and an escort through security, this line is not for you. If you are changing your itinerary, this line is not for you. If you require a special pass to go through security but are not a ticketed passenger, this line is not for you.

The part that seems so overwhelming to me is, it's not that people don't understand, "bag scan", they just don't care. "This line is shorter, I want to be in it".
...No matter how long I hold up the express line for others...who have their shit together.

Even the passengers who have their pre-printed boarding pass out and ready to go some of them reach the front of the line and their bags are over weight. Instead of just paying for the bag or stepping aside so the line may continue on, they open the bags and start re-adjusting clothing and food, and water bottles, and all sorts of other crap right in the middle of the express service. I actually overheard a passenger say to another passenger, "do you know what the word express means" and I chuckled, because it's so much better coming from someone else who is on the same side of the turnstile.

People, just be thoughtful of your actions.
Selfish is something you can be at home in the comfort of your own environment with those who love and care about you. Not out in the real world.

One stupid move

Real Men Keep Their Word

I love Askmen.com

Mexican Drug Wars and American Vacations

Today I woke up to the morning news and another heartbreaking story of an American couple devastated by the disappearance of her husband who was jetskiing on a lake bordered by Mexico. David Hartley's body was never found. Shortly after the investigator of the case was found beheaded. Here is a followup story.

This drug war has been going on for years now.
Each incident that happens seems to be surprising, yet the mass terror has been reported on every news station, in every news paper, internationally and domestically.
Why are we still vacationing in Mexico?
My sister wandered over the border a couple years ago, and I mentioned the drug wars. Upon her return, she talked about the border patrol trying to deter them from crossing over and mentioning the massive bloodshed and drug war going on.
I think a couple years ago, we were not clear on the severity of the cartels and the impact of the drug war. But, now we know. City after city - death after death, be-heading's, entire towns being killed - what is it going to take to get the message across that there are other vacation destinations in the world, even here in the States, without risking death in the crossfire of a major war?
There are lakes and beaches everywhere - are we as a country naive enough, or just so ignorant we won't stop traveling to a country that is having a border war comparable to any other war.
Are people also traveling to Afghanistan right now, for the sun and warmth?
Is it me?
Tragedy after tragedy, and all I can think is why as a country are we not making a political statement by protesting travel and imports/ exports to our neighbor until this madness ends?

Kids and Guns

What would you do if there was a rumor at your child's high school that there would be a shooting that day? Would you send your kid to school? Would you go to school with them? Would you do nothing...it is only a rumor?

This was my dilemma this morning.

At this time, I haven't processed all my thoughts on this topic, and I am debating on my next course of action because the way the incident has been handled by the school administration (to this moment in time) has not been to my satisfaction, and actually frustrates me more.

Any responses are welcome, and will be incorporated into the final blog post.

"I won't let you down... please don't give in, I won't let you down"

Thank you to Adam Lambert for putting it into words.

What Do You Want From Me

The hardest words to hear from someone you love. An uncontaminated inner voice.
The words you need to feel.
Pure honesty.
Not from the heart, from the desperation of knowing their heart is not capable of anything deeper.
My father told me once, "Don't call me Dad, call me Cyril" - that was his name.
His most sincere statement to me.
To the face, and soul, of a seven year old little girl.
And I heard him...I am not capable of being a father to you.

I am very hard on myself, most of us are. Women especially. We try to please everyone. We want to nurture. We live to love. As much as we crave honesty, we desire people to want us. To accept, and to love us. I have been conflicted - told someone I just wanted the truth, when I wanted to hear something else. Part of me wanted to be loved and told everything would be alright... that all my fears were unwarranted. When part of me wanted that moment of raw, spot on clarity that you can never take back. The words from another person that you love, that allow you to walk away and never look back. Words that let you stand up and be a woman. Even when you're seven years old. Once, I wanted that moment back.

I had a second moment of clarity this week. A friend who wanted to get to know me better - "spend more time together", asked me if I was even interested in him. Initially, I responded in the nice, "proper" way to respond. The way that lets everyone's feelings stay in tact and allows us all the privilege of being called civilized. I got called out.
I thought about the entire transaction.
Granted, I never want to hurt anyone's feelings, but it's not even that big a deal. I meet hundreds of people everyday. Do I care what they think of me?
No.
Saying No, is part of my job. "No, you cannot change your flight for free." "No, you cannot have my phone number."
To me it is a conscious choice whether I do or do not take action to further any friendship/ relationship? A conscious voice to acknowledge that inner knowledge that someone has feelings for you that you do not reciprocate.

I realized I was doing the same thing I had despised so much in past relationships, when lovers had not been honest with me. Although, not on such deep terms, nor in the same context, why wait so long? Why let relationships move in a direction you are not committed to and then have to hit that deep note of unadulterated honesty because you just cannot stand one more second of even half commitment? I was being my own worst nightmare.
So, I simply stated, "You are right".
When someone tells you, "If you were interested in me, I wouldn't be sitting here wondering if you were interested in me", they are right. Absolutely, fucking right. And credit is deserved.

In my past relationships, I hated that feeling of knowing my gut instinct was right. I had to acknowledge all the collateral damage that went along with it. When, it all could have been avoided in a split moment, like my father took, 35 years ago, and I never had to think about it again.
Up front.
It's not you, it's me, and mean it.
So, What do I want from you?
That moment of clarity. The pure, honest truth.

Maybe it hurt that day, maybe it hurt for 40 years, but today the great thing I can take away from all of this is:

"Baby I'm beautiful, and there's nothing wrong with me."

WWJD

So many times, in dealing with the public (or even my kids), I think to myself, "what is the right thing to do", how do I set a good life example?

People will test you.
Time and time again.
I attribute my patience to everything my Nana taught me. I am far from perfect. Lately, I feel I have been tested to the height of my tolerance. I have been challenged to do the right thing, and I have to remind myself, doing the right thing is a personal choice.

Lately, driving has become my heaviest albatross. It takes all my strength not to flip people off and curse them from an open window. Matter of fact, as someone blocked my alleyway, preventing me from getting to my garage, as I squeezed past, barely shaving the side of the wall, I called from the window, "You suck". I couldn't help myself.
I notice people have no courtesy, no common sense, and no intention of following the rules. On top of this, the level of entitlement when driving on the open road has become a disease. Running red lights while talking on the phone and throwing trash out f the car. I actually saw a car load of people run a red light while making a left turn, and when we caught up with the same car at the next red light, they were tossing an empty 24 oz beer can out of the car.
Broad daylight. No shame.
And what do you do?
I try to think to myself, WWJD? But often, my mind wanders to this :

(courtesy funnypix.ca)

Everyone, at one time or another has felt like, even Jesus might knock this Bitch out.

A woman scorned

I have a close friend who recently discovered the relationship she was in was based on a foundation of lies and deceit. I think we all have some experience with liars on some level. This is a historical story, almost trite, it's such a stereotype.

You know, there are two ways to end a relationship: with integrity and honesty, or with the same lies that weaved the very end of the same relationship.

I have been at the receiving end of both types. I have walked in on a man with another woman, more than once. The first time in high school, I was so shocked, I just walked out. I had no experience with this kind of deceit. The second time it happened, in college, I knew in my gut what I would find. I have uncovered emails to other women still professing undying love, and I have listened, more than once, to men "explain" why this was happening (see preceding blog on topic of explaining unacceptable behavior). Regardless, that gut feeling is usually right.

I have, more often than not, been in relationships that simply ended. No drama. No love lost. Just the end of the road. Men that knew when to say when, and walk away with some dignity and respect, not just for themselves, but for the person they were so in love with months before.

Here's the thing: when you have a relationship that ends with both parties understanding that some people just don't click for the long term, you also get two people that can walk away with dignity. When you have a situation where one person has been caught lying and cheating, you get bashed feelings and unsettled emotions, and the knowledge that perhaps everything your "relationship" was built on, is likely false. These feelings of falsehood, and deception, lead emotional types (women mostly) to very extreme positions to get the acknowledgment that they feel they deserve. Lorraina Bobbit is a fine example of this theory. I could write a thesis on why emotional attachments lead to destructive behaviors, but the commonality seems to be the total disregard for the heart and soul of the person on the receiving end of the emotional loss. The hidden secrets atop layers of lies. The lack of integrity. The thought of being "led on". Sound familiar?
Nothing rational exists between a person that has been expressed undying love, or a lifetime commitment of marriage only to find out, that some other woman has received the same promises, or even worse, just one night (or week, or month) of careless, thoughtless engagement. Then comes the Waiting to Exhale moment.

The obvious issue is the broken commitment which is disregarded for a fling.

The silent issue is the connection you thought you had because one person meant it and the other didn't. The deception behind the unspoken words. The connection one person falsifies in order to secure another notch. The disregard for another human being in seeking out short term emotional, or physical, gratification.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," has been sung over and over again, by various artists in various genre's, but we all get it. Reasonably, you never think it will be you that slashes some man's tires outside a lover's home. No woman ever wants to be the pissed off Bitch that throws a pet rabbit in a pot. I honestly believe it is rare that we as a sex have to be talked off the ledge over a man (or woman) - it's just that one time it does happen. Watch out.
What is frightening about a woman scorned is you never know where that emotion will take you. So, every reaction is destined to be unique.

"Maybe next time, he'll think before he cheats" ~Carrie Underwood

A Bitch is a Bitch is a Bitch

In the customer service industry, we run across all types of people. Over the past week, I have heard numerous stories retold of the rudest sorts. People who cut lines. People who think the rules do not apply to them. People who think the world owes them something. Generally speaking, people so miserable in their own life, they have to project that ugliness on to the rest of the world in the form of hateful words and selfish actions.

The one common denominator amongst all these people is they have an excuse for their behavior.

"I cut the line because there was an open kiosk and no one else was using it".
Oh, you mean the kiosk that the family of 5 was trying to get to with their 6 bags, stroller, car seat and grandma, but you raced in front of them through the exit pretending you didn't see them and the 70 people waiting patiently behind them? Those "no one's"?

"Security made me miss the flight. Why would you close the door? I am here. The plane is still there. I see it. Why can't it come back for me?" Security somehow let 136 other passengers make this flight on time. Security did not cause you to get your boarding pass 20 minutes before the door of this flight closed because YOU thought you could race through in front of the line and arrive at push back time.

The excuses are what make most Bitches feel OK about their behaviors. But what it comes down to is simple human courtesy, which these people do not have. I see them everyday, oblivious to the world around them, not one solid care about anyone or anything but themselves. What most Bitches don't realize is the whole world sees them. Even though they see no one, everyone notices them.

I have had businessmen oblivious to other travelers step in front of a family to try and show their boarding pass and skip ahead. Passengers where, I've had to say "Sir, you just stepped in front of two small children, can you wait one second," and they look around, shocked to see anyone in their immediate area. "Where did these small people come from", is the look on their face, and they mumble and carry on. No apology. No second thought, really. Meanwhile the mom, and the line of people behind her laugh and say, "thank you" as they continue on.

And for those Bitches that think the rest of the world is moving too slow. Sometimes the world is moving too slow. So what? One day your Bitch ass will be moving slowly too, and when your grandson blows past you to get to a twinkie, or some ass, or whatever it is he thinks is so important that he needs to knock grandma down to get it, you'll think, "Is it really that important?"

I have had to laughingly tell a passenger that his place in line would not board at the same time as another group, but in fact all the seats (on the aircraft) would arrive at their destination at the same time.
What is it exactly, do people think they are gaining by getting in front of someone else? On any level.

On a personal level, I am nice. Just nice. I smile all the time. I don't let grouchy people bother me. I try to make people feel good, no matter what their issue is. Especially when people are hateful with me it is shocking - not to me, but to my associates. I have been telling a story of rude passengers where I have been interrupted by a coworker to ask, "they did that TO YOU?" I have been mid-dispute with a passenger, and had another coworker jump in because they were offended with the Bitchassedness of the passenger, and stated later, that I was too nice. I have had male coworkers tell me after overhearing the way a passenger spoke to me that "one more word outta him, and I was gonna grab that guy by the throat."

Bottom line, most people in the world do not appreciate the actions of Bitches. It's not cute.

This has been a public service announcement.

Blindness and Relationship

We have all heard the phrase, “love is blind”, but today I really thought about what that means. Have you ever considered what it would be like to be blind? What attracts people to each other?

My daughter asked me what I like; what I am attracted to in men, and when I thought about it, I answered honestly, I don’t really have a type. I like tall. I like nice eyes – soft loving eyes, with nice eyelashes. I like funny. I like confidence.

Granted, when I think about the physical qualities I enjoy, I rely on looks, scent, touch.

What if I was blind and couldn’t rely on the sideways glances we give to one another?

What if I couldn’t see the smile that shows me love?

(photo courtesy gardenofgloomdeviantart.com)

What if I couldn’t look into the eyes that looked deeply into mine?

I thought about some of the weirdos that approach me and thought, if I couldn’t see what they looked like would I be more attracted to them? I doubt it. But, what does blind love truly look like?

Would I be happier if I couldn’t see everything that tears relationships apart?

What if I couldn’t see uncertainty?

If I couldn’t see disappointment on someone’s face.

What if I didn’t notice attraction to other women?

If I could not see the point of no return during an argument would I be “in love” differently? Would my relationships look different?

Are all the things we choose to overlook when in love because our heart is open and allows for this sentimental blindness any different than physical blindness?

Does blind love have attributes that will always be unknown, or does loving blindly have the same power, and I just haven’t had that “A-ha” moment yet?

What would love look like if I went through life as if I was blind...using my other senses to lead my heart?

Going to the Chapel and I'm...

Gonna be an MOH!
Hot shit!
My sister is getting married!
I'm so excited I could just burst. I'm not only happy for her, but happy for an addition to the family. I'm happy she is happy. I am happy for the responsibility to be someone's, anyone's, but my baby sister's(woooo!) Maid of Honor.

New Years eve in Vegas...are you kidding me! She's my hero!
Combining my favorite holiday, in my favorite party city, with my favorite sister. I could just pee.
I feel like I was waiting for this day my whole life, but I didn't know it until she announced it. Seeing my little sister get married, start a new life, be sooo happy.
I don't know much else that could be as exciting or draw the same response...well, maybe when Maddi announces that she is getting married. It's kind of the same. My heart is so full.

AND M.O.H. wow!
If my sister only knew how honored I am.
I'm gonna ruin all her pictures with my tears of joy - Oooh! Note to self, suggest pics be taken before ceremony. Yes, that is genius.

It occurred to me to find a proper list of MOH duties, just in case I am living in a fantasy of what is expected:

• Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It's the maid/matron of honor's (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure everyone gets their bridesmaid dresses, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all prewedding parties.
• Help shop for dresses (the bride's and the bridesmaids'). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes).
• Offer to help the bride with prewedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors and nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake.
• Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered.
• Help the bride change for her honeymoon and take charge of her gown after the ceremony. Arrange for storage in a safe place until she returns.
• Lend an ear. Whether it's about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns, the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening.
  
• Host or cohost a bridal shower for the bride.
• Attend all prewedding parties.
• Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this).
• Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids.
• See to it that all bridesmaids get to the rehearsal; coordinate transportation and lodging, if necessary.
• Make sure that all bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done, get to the ceremony on time, and have the correct bouquets.
• Hold the groom's ring during the ceremony. Safest place to put it? On your thumb.
• Arrange the bride's train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. The MOH might also need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception.
• Hold the bride's bouquet while the couple exchanges vows.
• Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man.
• Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (this is optional; the bride may decide to have attendants circulate among the guests instead).
• Play hostess along with the other bridesmaids at frequent points during the reception: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them to where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc.
• Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place.
• Make sure the bride takes a moment to eat something -- refresh her drink, get her a plate of food from the buffet table, or instruct the wait staff to keep her entree warm.
• Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence and possibly be announced with him at the beginning of the party. Also dance with other groomsmen, the groom, and others.
• Toast the couple after the best man. (This is optional, but it is a nice touch.)
• Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The MOH continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor.
• Keep the bride laughing. For the stressed-out bride, laughter can be as effective as venting.

NOW THIS I CAN DO!!


My best wishes and biggest heart-full of love for my sister Dedree and her love Damon~ I hope they see all the light in the world as they rise together to face all the battles of the world and see the most beautiful sunsets as they close everyday with their love for each other.

I am so proud and happy~

Media inspired stereotypes

I just watched yet another episode of TV drama where a "bottle girl" struggled with making the right choice in life because she was a single mom and desperately "needed the money" in order to keep her child.
Bottle girl = the new stripper.

Apparently, in an attempt to show single mom's in a better light, (hell, all single mom's aren't strippers, right?), the new p.c. character role for single mom is "bottle girl".

image by Shawn Frederick via NWMassmedia.com

HEY TVLAND! Single mom's all over the world have 9-5 jobs and make enough money to take care of their kids, are not being followed and harassed by psychotic ex's and/ or "the state", and are not faced with moral dilemma daily in a futile attempt to keep their children.
All single mom's are not being offered illegal monies in exchange for illicit activities with the knowledge that they are so desperate they won't have a choice, or the good sense to say no.

Granted it does not make for good TV, but how about a storyline where the main suspect in an extortion attempt is a parent in a two-parent household that's just plain greedy?

Not so exciting?
Not so exploitative of struggling women who actually do the right thing in life and are setting great examples for their children who are outstanding college bound students and athletes?
Not stereotypical enough of women who have moral value and are raising children with moral value?
Not pitch-able?
Boooo CSI. Weak.

Keeping Conscious; Staying Grounded in a Busy World

I found this great "List". Even those who know me well don't know how addicted I am to "lists" and calendars. My favorite two things. I love making lists, and I love organizing my day to day on a calendar. I have a lot to juggle so I need my organization tools, but being the Queen of organization does not have to be my goal, so to speak.
But, this particular list (courtesy Daily Om) reminds me to be conscious every day. It is one of the best lists I have ever seen, and I keep a tattered copy on my refrigerator. I can't believe I have not shared it before now. Staying Grounded in a Busy World gives detailed insight on how to live in the moment. I use it as a directive for staying on path...the path to consciously keep all the good aligned in regards to being me.
I would love to take a point a day and speak on how each of these affects everyone everyday, and how important all these points are, not just to me, but to you.
And you.
And you.
But, today I just want to discuss point # 7. Number 7 is, "See the larger picture" - the way I choose to live is not the only way to live. I have to remind myself everyday that just because that's not how I would do something (the best way), doesn't mean it won't be effective for someone else. In raising children, this is probably one of the foremost important things to teach: just because you want something done a certain way does not make it so. Just because you were taught how to do something one way, does not mean someone else cannot do it just as effectively another way.

photo courtesy realmenministry.com

Many paths lead to God.
Just as children argue over little things because each wants it done their way, adults fight over larger issues for the same reason. My way.
I try to see the larger picture in everything I do lately.
In contemplating moving to a new city, I weigh heavily the pros and cons of the move, short term move and long term; housing prices, safety and education for my little one, the future cost of education for my teen, the future of my career - all of these things branch out from the simple question, should I move closer to the ocean and beach to maintain my sanity right now?
In any relationship, their are compromises and disagreements. Points of view which have to be taken into consideration to maintain camaraderie and build solidarity. In my last relationship I tried to see the bigger picture and look at the possibility and the future of the relationship, not just the history and the flaws. I could not get past my expectations of what is required in any relationship to make the picture big enough. I was reminded that there is a big picture. A picture bigger than I.

I do research. I do travel. I do discuss.
In theory I should be living the big picture. In reality I am human and I live how I know, hoping to gain insights and learn along the way.
We choose our paths, ride out the conflicts of life, answer the questions the best we can, and we move forward with the knowledge that the picture will always be bigger then we can ever see. That in fact is growth and learning and hopefully... keeping conscious.

Oh Saucy!

Big week.
I am contemplating moving to California for a career opportunity. I have double kid duty all month and the double carpool in the a.m. and the double car pool in the p.m. are wearing on me. Scheduling.
Groceries.
Recycling and toilets.
This week is wearing me out already...then there was Tuesday.
Tuesday after school, Saunders gets into the car and immediately apologizes for being late to the Kiss-n-Go for pick up. He looks like his little day has been wrecked, but I don't say anything. As we drive on an errand for Maddi, he says, "when we get home I need to talk to you about something that happened after school."
Every worst thought goes through my mind, and if you know me you know I have no patience. I want to know now. I wait until we get to the errand point and Maddi gets out of the car. I turn off the ignition and ask him what's up. He starts to ask me if I know how hard he's been trying to have a good year, and I respond, yes, and he goes on to tell me that he will likely get a "think sheet" for something that happened after school.
Oh great. I wait patiently for the bomb to drop.
He tells me that he was playing wall ball and accidentally tripped another student. The student, in anger retaliated against him and shoved him. Saunders walked away but the other child came back, called him names and shoved him to the ground. Saunders then states he got up and shoved him back at which point a parent intervened and took them both inside for fighting,
which is a big deal in public school these days.
I listened to his story and thought about what he was trying to accomplish and told him we could talk about it later and I was sorry he had had a bad day.

Fast forward Wednesday, After school, I ask about the think sheet and Saunders tells me that he would probably be getting one, but he may be getting suspended as well.
Outstanding.
I ask about the meeting. I ask about the think sheet. I ask about the other student. I ask specifically what happened, and if all the stories would line up. His answers were consistent.

Fast forward to this morning. I decide to take matters into my own hands, as I can hardly be expected to wait for someone else to determine my kids destiny.
I have a conversation with the Administrator in charge of discipline in this matter.
She basically confirms Saunders story with the addition of what was said between the two boys, and the physical activity. Apparently, the boy called Saunders "a retard", so Saunders retorted "at least I'm not in special Ed." Ouch! Unfortunately, the boy does have special needs classes, and I will assume this is when he shoved Saunders to the ground. In turn Saunders kicked this boy in the ribs hard enough to leave a bruise.
Now, luckily they are nine years old, so there will be no legal ramifications, but when they turn ten years old, apparently, the law gets involved, so the school is worried for them both that they understand the consequences of their actions.
She did let me know that Saunders is a good kid but the incident was considered a fight and they have policy to follow. Well, yeah... But, in benefit of both kids, she said they both fessed up to what they each did and both showed sorrow and remorse, which is a great thing.
This was probably my biggest worry, that the truth would be greyed and that the kids would not have remorse. These are touchy words, and Physical altercations rarely lead to the truth. So kudos to them for stepping up and showing maturity and responsibility for their actions.
But man! being a parent never ends.

Reason? Season? Lifetime?

After so many years together, she suggested they had reached their limit: "You bring people into your life at certain times. Maybe you have a relationship to have children and you realize that it's fulfilled after that point." Susan Sarandon, on the breakup last year of her and her life partner (never married) Tim Robbins

Everyone comes into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

This is a difficult concept for most people. It is hard to be taught how to connect to people, only to let them go when the "learning", or the growth experience is actually over. I have gone through an extremely difficult breakup, and in evaluating myself and trying to gain growth from the experience, I question who I am every day. Who am I? What can I do differently? What do I want?
The experience, I find, is challenging because I have been the road runner in the past. I run at a moment's notice. I live by the notion that life is short... don't miss anything. Live for life. Make it about the journey.
So, when meeting someone that you absolutely connect with and it doesn't pan out, it takes a toll on who you are. When dating in general, it is easy to move on, there is no investment. It is open for the anticipation of the end. Possibility is the bottom line. When you connect with someone, anyone - the promise of "forever" is what strokes the pain of ego.
The conversations, the intimacy, the sharing of "like" - it all bears against the investment of life and love.
I guess I should feel lucky that I haven't had my heart broken over and over again.
I look at Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins as one of those couples that connected. They got it. They overcame the celebrity and maintained a relationship for 23 years.
I can't maintain a relationship for longer than 5 years. I can connect with pretty much any one for the short term, but what I question is, what is it about me that prevents me from getting over the long term hump?
I have plenty of relationships I know fulfilled whatever limitations the purposefulness was - why, in fact, it existed. But, there are those few that lurk - that concept of why people share themselves only to walk away.



Is that who I am?
Is that what I have done to people in the past?
Have I finally hit the glass ceiling of relationship purpose based on who I have been in the past and what I am capable of offering or fulfilling?

photo courtesy Adam Russell

Cats in Strollers

Everyday that passes, especially working at an international airport, I believe I have finally seen it all.
Today, at the park, topped all visuals.
Winner of the 2010 Crazy shit of the year award.
I was on my usual run at the park.
I finished and got into my car when I noticed a gaggle of geese (ducks, whatever the dirty birds that do not fly, yet walk around the park honking and shitting everywhere) rushing towards the lake off the path. Naturally, I looked to see what was making them hurry out of the way.
What I saw was a woman getting out of her car. Next to the car was a stroller - parked, like most of the mommies at the park who bring the infants out for their morning run. She was not pulling a small child out of the car. She was holding on to a cat. A full grown, huge, maniacal cat, that was by all accounts desperately trying to get out of her arms to chase down the gaggle that was getting away.
This woman was whispering to the cat, then moved it towards the stroller. Yes, she was placing the cat into the stroller for a walk.
Have I lost my mind?
I have seen a cat on a leash.
I have seen a cat in a bike pull with a small child.
Who puts a cat in a baby stroller for a walk around the park?
And who married her crazy ass?
She is home during the day, with time to go on a walk, with her cat... in a frigging stroller.

Now, I realize I am not the pet lover everyone perhaps thinks I should be, but let me explain a couple things. Animals belong outside. We, as selfish slave owning humans, decided that we would domesticate animals and bring them into the house, feed them, bathe them, take them out of their natural habitat and own them. Fine, whatever. How cute. Let's put a sweater on it and put it in our purse.
When animals do get outside they are in heaven. Smelling the fresh air. Chasing a few ducks.
Like Darwin said, eat or be eaten.
When did we get so bored with our own lives that we decided it was ok to push around pets in strollers, not only forcing our culture on them, but preventing them from participating in their own culture?

So, I decide to look this up - see if "everyone is doing it", and I'll be damned...google "cat strollers". You won't believe it.

This woman apparently had the ultralight pet stroller, but her cat had to be at least 30 pounds, so I'm thinking she should have gone with the Jogger Pet Stroller, which looks a bit roomier.


Unbelievable.

Disappointing Stereotypes

I live downtown. Part of my agreement in living in an urban environment is parking curbside in front of my residence. Seems reasonable, yes?
Well, in order to park in front of my home, or on the street in general in downtown Denver, as in most domiciles of the city, it requires a parking permit. A free permit which you may obtain by strolling into the Department of Parking Works downtown (a mere few blocks from my house) and showing proof of residence. No big deal. The sticker is placed on the front window of your vehicle(s) and they even offer up to 2 guest permits (window hangars) for guests who wish to remain at your home for longer than 2 hours (which is the parking time limit for street parking). Every year thereafter, you may renew via mail by simply signing a form stating all previous info remains the same.
On September 3, 2010, I resubmitted info for the permit I already have and requested my two guest permits, via mail.
On September 24 (noted via mail stamp on envelope) I received this form letter:
We received your application for a Residential Parking Permit. You did not enclose the proper documentation to obtain a Residential Parking Permit. Please submit the following items that have been marked:
*to follow in the form letter, were numerous items which had no relevance to my situation, but I read diligently, wondering what could I have possibly forgotten, the small form only required drivers license number and signature - confirmation all information on record was the same.

I then reached the highlighted area, which someone duly took time to check and highlight for me, in case I wasn't intelligent enough to comprehend the marked line:
"Any outstanding parking tickets need to be paid before a residential parking permit can be issued. Please contact the Parking Cashier Office for further assistance"
AND
"Please return all required documentation including documents previously submitted"
[I highlight in bold because that's how it is highlighted in the letter]
Note: date I submitted request for new permit: September 03, 2010
Note: date letter stamped via PostMaster September 24, 2010
and
Note: date parking ticket I received (apparently in anticipation of request for parking permit):
September 21, 2010 1:13 p.m.
I can only assume, after driving downtown and being ticketed for "parking 18 inches away from curb" in front of banking structure, for 4 minutes while I used atm, the Residential Parking Office connected the license plate to the request for renewal and immediately sent out required form letter.

Here are my issues:
1) In effect, if the government is so prompt in sending out form letters to reject permits, why are they not so prompt in sending out permits... when request was sent 1 month prior to expiration and 3 weeks prior to vehicle being ticketed?
2) The definition of "outstanding"[out-stan-ding]

–adjective

1.

prominent; conspicuous; striking: an outstanding example of courage.

2.

marked by superiority or distinction; excellent; distinguished: an outstanding student.

3.

continuing in existence; remaining unsettled, unpaid, etc.: outstanding debts.

4.

(of securities and the like) publicly issued and sold or in circulation.

5.

standing out; projecting: a stiff, outstanding fabric.

6.

Archaic . that resists or opposes.

or opposes.

—Synonyms
1. eminent. 3. owing, due.

A. The ticket received on September 21, 2010 is not due until October 11, 2010 - hardly OUTSTANDING

B. There is an option to dispute the citation, which I fully intend on doing, for number of reasons - primarily, the one which indicates I was not parked 18 inches or more from the Goddamned curb. [Oh, you know I have photographic evidence in my favor]

3) Even if I had paid the citation the same day, placed my check in the mail on the eve of the 21st of September and it had been received on the afternoon of the 22nd or 23rd of September, there is no way in hell this letter could have been adjusted on the same day and my citation information updated to reflect payment by the afternoon of the 23rd before this mail went out on the 24th. That would lead to a massive inconsistency with the timeliness of the government and the original issue with why it took 3 weeks to produce my Permit in the 1st place.

WHAT GIVES?
This form letter, addressed to no one, is in fact an indication of everything wrong with the government and the impersonal attention given to tax paying, law abiding citizens who do indeed attempt to do the right thing all the time, pay tickets on time and choose to live on the right side of the street and are treated as common criminals with no INTENT to continue to do the right thing, even though proven historically.
I have no history of unpaid parking tickets (with Denver at least). In fact I have had only 1 parking citation in the last two years which were shown "paid" on the form letter they sent me. Yet, I am being held hostage to get a parking permit to park on the street in front of my house until I pay a parking ticket received 3 weeks after renewal application.
I don't bitch about much, but I am not appreciative.
In fact, I have composed a similar letter to the Department of Public works expressing my disgust at their offensive form letter and unfortunate display of stereotypical government "red tape" games, and indicated not only would I not be wasting my time (stamps, envelopes, etc) re-submitting application, but I would instead be parking my vehicle in my fucking garage, and expressing as powerfully as possible the ineptness of our city and state policies via word of mouth, and every social networking tool which maintains an audience.

Sexual Harassment and the English Language

"I have more than 9 years making my job..." ~ Ines Sainz

This was part of the response to the accusations of the Jets players (and coaches) by Ines Sainz this morning on the Early Show on CBS. Apparently after being hazed in the locker room while attempting to interview Jets player, Mark Sanchez, Ines tweeted her discomfort. While she did not formally charge the team, fellow reporters did. She has also since accepted a direct apology from the Jets team. She has denied her initial, "uncomfortable" feelings and is now stating it's no big deal.
Ms Sainz did state she has been in numerous locker rooms and done over 250 interviews with top athletes. She probably did not anticipate the national coverage of her statements via Twitter, and now possible repercussions of her statements. She had an invitation to the boys club and other professionals are threatening that invite with their public statements.
She wants to be viewed as a professional, as she should be, and takes her career very seriously.

That being said, in listening to her response, I was surprised by her grasp of the English language (or lack thereof). I understand she is a foreign reporter. But levels of professionalism and a basic comprehension of the language in the country where you report (or simply work for the rest of us) would seem to be necessary. I mean I've seen craigslist ads which require a grasp of the English language, why not a position which is seen and heard throughout the nation by a large percentage of Americans, on television, no less? Across the board, when you are masterminding an international media driven profession, shouldn't you be held to the same (if not higher) bar as everyone else in the country?

photo via changeinatmosphere.com

Maybe not.

I wish I was an international reporter, eh, English, it's just for silly Americans.