Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Eric Jerome Dickey... meet Anais Nin

I have been waiting a month for Eric Jerome Dickey's new novel "Pleasure". I have read every single book ever written by this man, and I'm sure I'm in intellectual love. His talent rides the short end of the stick all the way to his infinite wisdom (and sociological prowess) on the long end.

Each of his novels inspires me to write and continue to read every single day. I get sucked into his stories and savor each, next word voraciously. His women are sensual, uncommon beings. Unique and beautiful, his descriptions of them bring you right into their life as if you were their sisters or best friends.

I looked forward to this book with as much anticipation as the last dozen. I couldn't find it at the bookstore(s). The library didn't have a copy on hand and I finally ordered one and received it over the weekend. As I opened the first page I read, "Be careful Anais, abnormal pleasures kill the taste for normal ones". This is a quote from the film Henry & June, which told the love story of Anais Nin and Henry Miller and the demise of her purity as she was enveloped into the sordid relationships and lifestyle of Henry Miller. Note, the sultry June (Henry's other lover) was played by Uma Thurman, and it is one of her best performances ever - reminiscent of Betty Davis back in the day.

After I watched this film, I was drawn to Anais Nin and her life. Her writings and her motivation. She is a quiet soul with a dark spirit. Her writings are intense and at times difficult to understand due to the depth of her intent.

So, to be re-introduced to one of my favorite writers via an urban vehicle by my favorite contemporary writer was almost too much to bear. How could these two souls have anything in common? As different at New Orleans and Belgium, or are they really different at all? It has taken me 3 days to pick up the book again, because I am terrified that everything I admire about one of these writers will be unveiled as false. Or everything I believe in life will be revealed as truth.

We are all connected.

What I believe as the lifesource for all beings and visualize through writing and art and music is also seen by another being on this planet. Someone who thinks like me.
And the topic...this terrifies me as well.


To be continued...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Time for Change

Yesterday marked a historical event in the society of our free world. A Black President Elect was voted in. Barack Obama, Ill Senator, now President of the United States.
A qualified politician, quite capable of the changes he has suggested, and has requested our help - the help of the American people in implementing these changes.
He is offering us a chance to pave our own destiny. He is giving us the tools to become the great country we have been capabale of. He is providing the leadership this country needs to fulfill our own prophecy.
Can we do it? This is the question, and he has given us the answer.

Yes We Can!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

choices

You know how some days you wake up and you feel like a new person? You know that whatever choices you make that day will be the right one's. All consequences will be righteous and life-changing. The path less traveled will be the scenic route.

I had a really great weekend with my kids. Ups and downs - a really fantastic time. It occured to me how lucky I am. That I am a good parent. That every step I have taken in the right direction has led me to this exact moment. Each choice a good one. The good, the bad, and the ugly - my kids are stellar and I am one lucky bitch.

When I first got divorced I was sure I had made a mistake. When I moved to Colorado, I wondered - would this work out. When I moved ...again... I thought, you should have just stayed in the affordable condo. But, as the years creep by, I see every step was a conscious one for the benefit of each of my children.

Thank you God!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

What is wrong with the town of Morrison?

The RedBull Soap BOx Derby - what a great idea?
Fun times!
Costumes - a great pre-curser to Halloween, and a free event for the whole family!
Right?
Wrong!

I drove around red rocks and Morrison for 2 hours with my kids in the car trying to get - 1st to the free parking/ shuttle stop they promised at the Bandemere speedway which did not exist b/c the Denver Popo had the exit to the speedway closed, and, 2nd - to any exit close enough to Red rocks to walk up to the event.
After being detoured to the next highway exit (285), after being blocked out of the Morrison exit, and heading towards the mountains, the next exit for Morrison (also closed to the public now), I was forced to drive towards Evergreen where I finally got off at some dirt road and headed back towards what I thought was a back road for red rocks.
At this point... I am in a caravan of dumbasses who were all now on a mission to get into this stupid f'n shit-race.
Somehow after driving another 35 mins or so through the woods (deer and sheep and horses were a distraction for my kids, along with the incredulous amount of McCain Palin signs in trailer park/ farm house yards) we end up right in the backyard of red rocks again, where the Denver police, once again were not permitting any cars into the town of morrison or near the stadium.

Bullshit- So we turn up another dirt road, and somehow I get tossed back onto I-70, where I continue to roll with half the caravan, like Chevy Chase on Vacation trying to get into Wally World, b/c my vacation isn't over til I say it's over.

Then we get off the highway, again at the red rocks exit, where tons of people are walking, so we think, "we can do it". We are forced to park on the side of the highway on an on-ramp - how safe is that? and walk down towards the main street where you usually drive up into red rocks for the parking (before you walk another f'n mile up stairs and hills into the actual stadium).
By now tons of people are passing us saying "it sucks, don't go - it's a 3 mile walk, blabh blah blu blah", and my kids have to piss and we're all tired and grumpy, and finally surrender to the fact that whoever organized this shit is a fuckwad, and I will never support any of their events again - red bull dumbasses and the town of morrison.I'm still pissed.
Who lets kids down like that?
But, let me tell you how I really feel...lol!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Great American Beer Fest - GABF


The 2008 Great American Beer Fest. I will admit, I had heard of this event, but never really even considered going. I had this pre-conceived notion of boring convention-goers who had a unique desire to taste beer. I was so wrong.

This event not only showcased breweries from all over the world, but invited connoisseurs and just plain, old beer lovers like myself to gather and embrace the sights, sounds and all the tastes of great beer.

Located at the Convention Center in downtown Denver, aisle after aisle of booths, set up quite like any other convention, showcased countless tasty and delightful beers. The background was the stage for thousands of festival-goers to taste and share their love for beer. I met people from Minnesota, Canada and even the city of my alma mater, Boston. I can't remember a more happy, friendly group of people gathering in one place.

Now, Denver has been the home of quite a few outstanding events lately, including the Democratic National Convention in September. The Great American Beer Fest has been held here for many years now, and I will say, I will be back.
The commemorative glass which is given out at the Members Only tasting is a daily reminder of what a fantastic event this is. As you enter the convention center each patron is handed a glass, or plastic cup I am told, which they are able to move from stand to stand, booth to booth and taste to their hearts desire. A 1 oz serving is poured by the wonderful volunteers of the festival.

We had the pleasure of sampling a diet beer from Coors, a local favorite, and some fantastic, smaller, hometown breweries like Great Divide. There were favorites which stood out (because the lines were so long) like the Alaskan brewery and Leinenkugel's. Leinenkugel's has the best Berry Weiss beer you will ever taste, in my opinion, and one of the volunteers who noticed my love for their product gave me some Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat lip balm. I'm in love. The selection is amazing. I think I tried over 30 tastes, and none was quite like the other. I even had to taste PBR because in my lifetime I have never...now I have. I also tried a Watermelon beer which I can honestly say, I can do without, but it was interesting and unique.

Whatever you do, don't forget your pretzel neckace. Everyone will find themselves needing a snack at some point and a pretzel comes in handy while drinking beer. My friends and I had the opportunity to spend the afternoon tasting beers, eating pretzels and finding out one more great thing about our city. We love great beer here in Denver. Join us next year!


Friday, October 10, 2008

skateboards and no fear


Remember what it felt like to be 7?
To have no worries and no fear?
To jump off ramps on your bicycle and skate as fast as you could downhill, with no helmet or knee pads?




Remember life before responsibility?

Watching my son at the skatepark today reminded me of what life was like 30 years ago, when summertime never seemed to end. My bike was the only thing I had to worry about and I had a chain to keep it safe from thieves when I sat in the library for hours on end getting lost in Nancy Drew books.


The skatepark today has so many things nostalgic of youth. There were kids of all ages, young and young at heart. Now as I sat and watched my son enjoy his (yet to be) nostalgic days, I just pondered my responsibility. Even a small break in the day or the weekend still lends itself to contemplation of all things accountable for. Difficult to escape under any terms.



Kids of all ages, cultures, and skill levels skated around the park just being.


Today I wanted to get on a skateboard and just skate as fast as I could - catching air and not worrying about a broken bone or spraining a knee or my back. I wanted to drop in to the bowl and feel the wind against my face. Then I wanted to get on my bike and just ride. Ride all day like I used to when I was 10 years old. My only worry then was being home before dark.


I didn't think about how much insurance cost and if it would cover more than one trip to the hospital if I had already sprained my knee skiing this year.
I didn't think about other kids suing me if I accidentally kicked my board into their face and they required stitches.


I didn't think about anything except the freedom of my wheels.



Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Landlords and Thieves

Usually my commentary revolves around current events, my kids, what's going on in my town, etc. Fun, light issues or hot topics so to speak. Today, I am venturing away from this because I have had the most horrific experience with an individual that I am at a loss for polite conversation.
History: I have been renting condos/ homes for about 20 years now. I am a conscientious person and very aware of other peoples property. I like doing artistic things in my home, even when I rent, and am very careful about re-painting and cleaning when it's time for me to check out. I have never had a security deposit withheld for any reason and have actually had landlords tell me the place looks better than when I first moved in.
Recently: My most recent rental, I did nothing to, no paint, no art, simply because I knew this was a transition space and I felt I would be moving at the end of the lease. So I maintained everything as close to move in as possible.
This home I rented had a few issues - clogged sinks, slow draining plumbing in every bath and kitchen, poorly maintained appliances, worn and torn flooring. The unit is at least 50 years old, and has not been renovated in the last 49 years. The vinyl on the laundry floor was literally peeling up from every crack. But, it was a cute duplex in a cute neighborhood. Can't complain - my kids were safe.
I was never given a check-in sheet when I moved in. I was charged a non-refundable pet deposit, above my standard rental deposit, which is totally normal. During the course of my stay in this home, the landlord decided she would try and sell the property, so I would need to move possibly earlier if she could seel. Times are hard, this seemed reasonable.
Then my neighbors began to tell me that she does this every year or so : gets rentors in then puts a for sale sign up. Red Flag #1. They had seen the price point for the unit and thought she needed some guidance due to the market and the quality of what she was trying to sell. Basically, asking top dollar for a dated, small unit with no extras (ie garage, W/D, etc).
A couple people stagger through to see what she's offering, and hmmm imagine this; the comments we hear are "no garage?", "a laundry in the master closet", "the flooring is dated".
Next red flag - she begins to call and send emails stating that the unit isn't tidy enough to be shown on a regular basis. That I, in fact, was the cause of her not being able to sell her over priced piece of shit during this "buyer's market". Open the window and smell the economy honey.
Anyone who has been to my house, knows it is tidy. The windows may not be cleaned from the outside, but my home is tidy.
A number of other wak-assed events happened, alerting me to her disillusionment with the real world, but I realized that moving was a blessing and just go with the flow.
So, I prepare to move into my new home and spend 2 weeks preparing the duplex for my check -out process, and looky looky she shows up with a 2 page check-out sheet. Where was this when we checked in I wonder, but fuck it - just follow the process and get your money back.

Note, house was not clean when I moved in. Huge dust bunnies under the heating units. Childrens toys in the yard and wedged between heating units. Broken window treatments. The storage closet on the main level was actually full of shit from the previous tenant and I carted all that shit to the goodwill and dump. No worries...cause you trust people will treat you fairly.

I clean, I weed, I paint, I have all my bills transferred. Mind you the unit is empty for a full month. Then she bills me a fake water bill, which she will show my no proof of. Then deducts a fee for half a month's electricity. Once again, the unit was empty - no water, no electricity. The amounts of the bills were 2 to 3 times the normal amounts of bills when I was actually living in the unit, and I compared the electric "fake bill" she gave me to my 1st electric bill at my new home and here are the results:
Duplex: 1700 sq ft, regular usage=$76 per month, no usage=$180 per her calculations (she charged me $90 for the 14 days I had it turned off prior to the end of my lease albeit I had moved out 30 days prior and thought 15 days was plenty of time to get any cleaning done that would require electricity- oh and the house has hard wood flooring throughout).
New home: 2400 sq ft, 1st bill with full usage including central A/C=$165 for full month
Hmmm
The water bill is far less exciting - she simply doubled what I normally paid and refused to show documentation.
At first, I was very upset and frustrated because if there is one thing in life I hate it's a common thief. I realize she has seen hard times, as have we all. But she had the audcity to send me a conjured up receipt that my 13 year old could have produced using Microsoft Word for the costs of new flooring for her stairwell (citing strange odor), therefore, I need to recarpet her 40 yr old carpeted stairwell - NOT clean professionally - REPLACE. Other items such as failing to remove cobwebs from the front porch, and various other bullshit was on this list as well.
If I had not spent so much time cleaning and painting and taking care with her home, this might be something easy to blow off, and I realize my anger and the desire to spraypaint her home and car with the words "SLAG CUNT" are a knee jerk reaction to being taken advantage of by the less integrious.
So, I will meditate and wait for karma to take effect.
I know people like this do shit like this because their miserable little lives are so inadequate and the only pleasure they get in life is taking advantage of others to make themselves feel a tiny bit better.
I hope the $1000 was worth it Kathy Whitrock/ Landlord & Thief.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Since When...

Did we become so judgemental. So stingy. So dependant on being at the top of the hierarchy?
Ultimately driving us from one of the best nations in the world to one of the worst. Economically, technolgically and socially.
When did we stop caring about our neighbor?
When did it become such a bad thing to pray together?
When did it become ok to shirk our responsibilites, relying on tax dollars and the government to soak up our bills?
When was it ever ok NOT to take care of your own children?
It seems as if every law that is passed now is one more step away from personal responsibility. Why is that OK?
When did we stop being accountable?

I just read an article in regards to the safehaven law allowing parents to drop off their kids at a hospital, firehouse, police station, etc, someplace safe, if they felt they could not take care of their kids. Well, apparently in the state of Nebraska, there was no age limit, so parents wee driving from all over the midwest to drop off their unruly teens.
Really?
Now, everyone has hard times, but this a pure example of what has happened to our society since we have grown so self absorbed, and so unaware of our neighbors. It does take a village to raise a child, and the further we get away from acknowledging our neighbor, the further our kids get away from being raised with the community values which inspire independence and success.
My 13 yr old gets on my nerves sometimes. I'm sure I get on her nerves. Would I ever think of dropping her off at a safehaven? Hell no.
I'd get 3 jobs, a british nanny, and some percoset before I ever turned my kids over. BUT, that said, if my neighbor came to me and said, "I can't do this, could you help me with my kid(s)." I would say "Yes", because that's how we are supposed to take care of each other. It starts at home. With YOU.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Obsession with Athletic wear

Today I was forced to go to Sports Authority. This is the mecca of sporting goods stores. First of all, I will tell you, I'm lazy and I hate to drive, so the fact that I have to go 15 miles out of my way to buy anything speaks for itself. Apparently this is the only Sports Authority location which has a "team sports" office. So, for my daughter's soccer team (because they have moved up to a competitive level this year), I had to make the trek to get new jerseys.
Not thrilled, but I went.
I got there and Lo and Behold: running shoes and sportswear and snowboards and outdoor furniture and MyGod I thought I had died and gone to sportsworld heaven. I want to start a birthday registry so I can put everything I love on this list. From now on friends, don't ask - just go to Sports authority and you will see "me", in the running section, in the Puma womens wear section, in the ski/ board tuning area. J.C. they had rackets, underarmour and balls, all kinds of balls!
They had a pair of Saucony running shoes I had only read about. They were beautiful...like running fashionista requirements. But alas, they were $140 - what? stop the press, here's where my cheap ass gets sad. I go through 2 pairs of running shoes every 6 months running 20-30 miles per week, which I undertand is considered "light running", but I can tell when I get shin splints it's time to refresh. So, spending $140 a pop, x 2, every few months just isn't happening.
I like Happy Hour just a wee bit more.
So I went with the $80 New Balance ABZORB 800, which was on clearance for $39.99
Woooooo. Back in the game!
And let me just tell you, I couldn't wait to get to Wash Park and try them out. A trail runner's shoe which feels like a sock. It's light and has an almost cleated sole. They are brilliant, and I love them. I'm still wearing them in fact.
So thumbs up for the New Balance shoe and thumbs up for Sports Authority in general - which is too far for me to enjoy on a regular basis, but "I feel you SA, I feel you".
Oh, yeah - the store is massive, you could lost in here for hours, really - but the parking is ample (that's what they build in Highlands Ranch- parking lots), and the store personnel was fantastic! The young man I thought was 16 who wanted to help me with running shoes I ass-u-me'd was a novice, and I (gulp) admit, he was extremely well versed in running, cross country, trail, women's shoes, problem areas, the difference between air and cushion - I mean it was ridiculous how much this kid knew, and I ended up asking him a thousand questions before I realized I needed to get out of this store before I bought stock.
I will tell you honestly the only issue I have with this store - it wasn't just the location, it was the Gi-normous snowboard section, and where were the skis? Where, my friends, were the damn skiis? Because then I would have been in real trouble. And if they do have skiis and I just didn't see them, well there's my (sole)issue. Perhaps it was the Sniagrab event just last week?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Day to Day adventure and the people in my hood

Today I was driving to the grocery store. Now, I live in really suburban area. I mean, picket fences, elementary schools every mile, a golden retriever with every house, flowers in the yard, and neighbors who actually know and care about each other. Very Rockwell.
So I'm driving to the store and there is a teenager on a bike in front of me. He was weaving back and forth and being a kid. I wanted to go around him but I was intimidated because I really didn't feel comfortable with his swerving, but no big deal - I was 1 block and a half from turning towards the grocery.
As I followed slowly behind him. I noticed a man walking on the other side of the street. As the biker approached the man and passed him, weaving and twisting along the street, the man held up his arms in front of him and pointed his fake, air gun at the boy and pretended to shoot him.
What?
Yes.
Another friendly, suburban neighbor, out for his daily stroll down the block, shot the kid on the bike in his make-believe scenario.
And as I turned the corner, only 20 seconds or so out of my way, I thought "Are these the little things that really provoke people to kill one another if they had the chance?"
Juat a day in the life

Friday, August 29, 2008

Cause we will believe anything John McCain

In a feeble attempt to regain any semblance of a true competition after the successful (to say the least) DNC, held in Denver this week, John McCain has pulled, what he obviously looks at, as his trump card. By choosing a female running mate, he believes he has made a brilliant chess move. I beg to differ. John McCain is transparent and simple. Not only have we seen this throughout his weak campaign, but now we see it highlighted in this aggressive and overtly insulting move. Are we small children? Do we not get his weak attempt at tossing us, the American public, a bone after seeing with his own eyes the power and stamina the Dems have touted this week?

This move brings to light 2 possibilities: On one hand, he believes he has made a brilliant choice, after years and years of not supporting women (fiscally, rights-wise, or otherwise), and we should believe that against everything he has stood for in the past, TODAY he is a new man, with a new outlook, and a new following? That his "good old boys" club needs a soft feminine face. A FACE EVEN YOUNGER THAN HIS COMPETITION WHICH HE HIMSELF HAS DESCRIBED AS LACKING EXPERIENCE. Obama is too young but his running mate is not? Rich! I guess the self-proclaimed hockey mom has built her defense strategies around what she's learned on the ice. How do the rest of the "good old boys" feel about that John?

or 2, he knows good and damn well he is trying to manipulate the American public, pull some disgruntled Hillary fans to his side and eeek by in an election he truly can't compete in. Now that's the John McCain I know.

Hey John, most of those Hillary followers were pro-choice, think they will overlook their beliefs to follow your running mate's anti-abortion campaign strategy? They are not as simple as you think.

I truly hope the American people see through the transparency of this pathetic attempt at collecting votes and see him for the fool he is.


By LIZ SIDOTI and BETH FOUHY, Associated Press Writers 6 minutes ago

DAYTON, Ohio - John McCain has introduced Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, a conservative who shares his maverick streak, as his vice presidential running mate in a startling selection on the eve of the Republican National Convention.
At a raucous rally Friday in the swing state of Ohio, McCain said he made his pick after looking for a political partner "who can best help me shake up Washington and make it start working again for the people who are counting on us."

McCain said that Palin was "Exactly who I need. She's exactly who this country needs to help us fight the same old Washington politics of me first and country second."

(Is this supposed to be a good thing? 8 IS ENOUGH FOOL!)

In an earlier announcement, McCain's campaign said that Palin, who has been governor less than two years, "has the record of reform and bipartisanship that others can only speak of.
"Her experience in shaking up the status quo is exactly what is needed in Washington today," the announcement said.

Palin has a strong anti-abortion record, and her selection was praised warmly by social conservatives whose support Mccain needs to prevail in the campaign for the White House.

GOOD FOR HER, BUT WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO ATTRACT...AND "WARMLY"...THAT'S USUALLY NOT A POWERFUL CATCH PHRASE USED DURING AN ELECTION. I'M JUST SAYIN'.

"It's an absolutely brilliant choice," said Mathew Staver, dean (AND IDIOT-SHEEP) of Liberty University school of Law. "This will absolutely energize Mccain's campaign and energize conservatives," he predicted.
With his pick, McCain passed over more prominent contenders like Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, as well as others such for former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, whose support for abortion rights might have sparked unrest at the convention that opens Monday in St. Paul, Minn.

The timing of McCain's selection appeared designed to limit any political gain Obama derives from his own convention, which ended Thursday night with his nominating acceptance speech before an estimated 84,000 in Invesco Field in Colorado.

Public opinion polls show a close race between Obama and McCain, and with scarcely two months remaining until the election, neither contender can allow the other to jump out to a big post-convention lead.

At 44, Palin is a generation younger than two of McCain's seven children. She also is considerably younger than Sen. Joseph Biden of Delaware, who is Barack Obama's running mate on the Democratic ticket.

She is three years Obama's junior, as well — and McCain has made much in recent weeks of Obama's relative lack of experience in foreign policy and defense matters.

AND NOW YOUNG IS GOOD - YOUNG AND FEMALE, EVEN BETTER, EH JOHN?

In its formal announcement, the campaign pointed to her powers as head of the Alaska National Guard and the mother of a soldier herself as evidence that she "understands what it takes to lead our nation..."
McCain has had months to consider his choice, and has made it clear to reporters that one of his overriding goals was to avoid a situation like 1988, when then-Sen. Dan Quayle was thrown into a national campaign with little preparation.

A self-styled hockey mom and political reformer, Pallin was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, population 6,500, until she became governor.
Palin flew overnight to an airport in Ohio near Dayton, and even as she awaited her formal introduction, some aides said they had believed she was at home in Alaska.
She is a former mayor of Wasilla who became governor of her state in December, 2006 after ousting a governor of her own party in a primary and then dispatching a former governor in the general election.

More recently, she has come under the scrutiny of an investigation by the Republican-controlled legislature into the possibility that she ordered the dismissal of Alaska's public safety commissioner because he would not fire her former brother-in-law as a state trooper.

Palin has a long history of run-ins with the Alaska GOP hierarchy, giving her genuine maverick status and reformer credentials that could complement McCain's image.

Two years ago, she ousted the state's Republican incumbent governor, Frank Murkowski in the primary, despite having little money and little establishment backing.

She has also distanced herself from two senior Republican office-holders, Sen. Ted Stevens and Rep. Don young. Both men are under federal corruption investigations.

She had earned stripes — and enmity — after Murkowski made her head of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission. From that post, she exposed ethical violations by the state GOP chairman, also a fellow commissioner.

Her husband, Todd Palin, is part Yup'ik Eskimo, and is a blue-collar North Slope oil worker who competes in the Iron Dog, a 1,900-mile snowmobile race. The couple lives in Wasilla. They have five children, the youngest of whom was born in April with Down syndrome.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

A New Dream

I have watched this campaign with the nervousness of an immigrant in a new country who barely speaks the language and watches and waits and learns. I listened to the honest, loving voice of Michelle Obama on Monday. I tried to relate to Hillary Clinton on Tuesday. I wept at Beau and Joe Biden's story on Wednesday. Tonight I believe in the hope for change. I hung on every word of Barack Obama like a schoolgirl on the first day of university. I felt my heart change. I believe "We Can". I have been impressed by a man with a dream.
On the 45th anniversary of the famous Martin Luther King Jr "I have a Dream" speech, another dream has been spoken. The foundation has been laid, and as Obama stated "This presidential race is not about me, it is about you" - "you" directed at the Americans who have stood long enough for this abysmal state of affairs. We are tired, and fed up with this government. It's not good enough. We are better than this. We have a legacy to uphold.

At every step of the way I have held my breath and hoped and wondered if the home team would win. Not just win, but hit a home run out of the park. And out the park Senator Obama hit it. "8 is enough" and "Yes We Can", will be the new mantras for this generation of Americans who stand for change. We are tired of being told to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and "you're on your own", even when we have no boots. Obama hit the nail on the head as he tore apart the politics of the Republican party and stood up for what we stand for. This is what we have needed - someone to stand up for our country.

I am proud to be an American and proud to support a Presidential candidate who believes in the same things I do. It's time for a change so let's stop talking about it and be about it.
Stop talking about it and be about it.
STOP TALKING ABOUT IT AND BE ABOUT IT!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Roll Call

Today I had the pleasure of watching the National Roll Call, televised live on CNN, where Barack Obama was voted as the official presidential candidate for the Democratic Party. I will say, this is an emotional election year, but watching this group of delegates proudly cast their votes for the "next President of the United States" was truly inspiring.

I am sure I have learned something new about each state in the U.S. that I didn't know before today. ie Kansas is the birthplace of the grandparents of the next President of the United States.
The pride of each state beams through their representatives and really makes one proud to be American.
"Yes We Can"
I waited and waited patiently for one state to cast all their votes for Obama, and finally New Hampshire stepped up and cast all 30 votes for Senator Obama. Then New Jersey followed with all 127 votes. Unites We Stand!
Then the yield motions began.
New Mexico yields to Illinois. Illinois yields to New York. What the hell? I am unclear on why this happens until Hillary Clinton comes to the floor. Clinton moves to declare Obama the official candidate in the spirit of unity, and Obama is nominated by acclamation.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Exhibit Darfur, Denver

Last night I had the privilege of attending the opening evening of the Exhibit Darfur at the Ditto Gallery located at 12th and Speer, right here in Denver. I had no idea we had such brilliant activists right here in town...little ole' Denver.

I understand that this exhibit was put together in one month. Not just the exhibit, but the opening evening's reception, which included our Govenor speaking, and various other artists and activists, educating Denver on the atrocities occuring in Darfur right now.

The exhibit included the photographs of Mia Farrow, Brian Steidle, Izabela Lundberg, and Aaron Cohen, all true to the plight of Sudan as they shared the horror that exists within the country today.

The exhibit displays visually the tragic impact of war and genocide in Darfur by Steidle; the reality of slavery in the Sudan by Cohen; Sudanese culture and life in refugee camps by Farrow; and the hope of Darfur survivors in the U.S. by Lundberg. One of the most impactful sights was the drawings by small children of Sudan depicting bloody gunfire spattering into homes and innocent bystaders of Darfur. The concentration camps, or refugee camps as the government is calling them, are implied "safe areas", yet these camps are isolated in the middle of nowhere with no food or water resources.


gen·o·cide pronounced [jen- uh- sayhd]
–noun
the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group.



The Ditto Gallery did a fine job of hosting this informative and socially relevant event, and the groups which sponsored the event have made available a tremendous amount of information for the public. Please take the opportunity, pop into the gallery and check out the exhibit, it is an eye opening experience.

For more information, check out these resources:
http://www.savedarfur.org/page/group/DENVERCOALITIONTOSAVEDARFUR

http://www.beyondintractability.org/case_studies/Darfur.jsp?nid=5101

But whatever you do, Be Conscious, Be Aware!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

DNC Denver 2008, sights, sounds and symptoms

Denver has been lucky enough to have the presence of the Democratic National Convention grace our fair city this summer. In an election year abuzz with media pressure, anxiety amidst a war, and at the very least, hope; here we are politicians - show us what you got.


Being from Missouri originally, I'm still a firm believer in "You've got to show me".


The city is bursting with energy. New faces are all over the downtown area. Judging our city. Taking in the beauty of Colorado; some for the very first time. Everyone with their badges proclaiming them great enough to walk the streets - our streets, for a cause. Do us proud Dems!

As I parked downtown, I looked up to see the solemn face of Barack Obama, Democratic Presidential candidate. Graced with the mountains of Colorado as his backdrop, a vision of hope for our state as well as for the country in the upcoming 4 years. Then as I walked along the streets of downtown, I saw his face everywhere, in storefronts, on T-shirts, on doggie sweaters, everywhere. I thought, people are really looking towards the convention as well as something new.


Barack Obama represents change in this country for many reasons, and seeing his face 10 stories high facing the Denver community speaks volumes. The DNC has opened it's minds, and hearts to the hope that Senator Obama has brought to the table this presidential election year. We welcome Obama, and we welcome the Convention to our city.

As with any major event in any major city, with the good also comes the negative. The protestors, the police with billie clubs, the raging lunatics; everyone comes out to be a part of the energy that brings people together. I must say I am rarely shocked, and some of the sights that I witnessed downtown were just plain shocking, and I realize that this is the point - to parlay their propoganda into a base, shock value to jar people out of their reality.
I have opted not to show the photos of the truly shocking because I am a firm believer that the media choosing to sensationalize tragic events is what pushes them to the forefront of society and actually allows them to gain momentum. I will say that the pro Life vs Pro Choice argument is a strong one and no matter where I stand personally, I would never step outside of my moral convictions as a Christian to try and manipulate people to stand on my side of the fence. I truly hope these good Christian, Pro-lifers who think it is morally correct to show pictures of bloody fetuses on the side of a 16 wheeler are prepared to stand in the light of the Lord on judgment day. My children, and the children of most of the city who happened to be downtown and were subjected to this horrific photographic display were terrified.
And it didn't change my viewpoint, only made me realize how sick these people are and pray for them.

I am an advocate for having a stance. Stand for something or STFU, is my mantra, so believe it - I have value for peaceful protestors who believe in what they stand for enough to get out there and share it with the world. This guy didn't try to shove propaganda in my face. He didn't try to scare my children, nor did he vilify my city with his viewpoint. I am proud to have him here as part of the DNC standing for something. Peacefully. Welcome Sir!











Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Summertime Travel

Today my horoscope read, "It's time, today, to add a little bit of breathing room to your schedule! You've been in a hurry lately, getting things done left and right. Your productivity is admirable, but it cannot be sustained. So go slow, today, and if you can put a few things off for another day, do it."

Generally speaking, I try not to put things off at all, because I feel like procrastination is the downfall of society. I was brought up to believe that you get your work done first and fast and then take time for yourself.
After a summer of full blown travel, I know I have taken time for myself in theory, but really these expeditions were for others as well. My brother's wedding was not a vacation. It was great to get to spend time with my family, but organizing travel for 5 people, arranging family meals for groups of 10-15, and driving all over the city of Los Angeles was work. After 2 trips to Vegas, a trip to LA, a weekender soccer tournement to Steamboat and an upcoming trip to D.C., I will admit, I'm beat. Just plain exhausted and none of these events was for the maxin' and relaxin' beach time I like to invest in for vacation.
When I woke up this morning, I thought to myself "self, what is on the agenda today? I am so tired, I can barely open my eyes, and the thought of driving kids to school, making lunches, breakfast and combing hair, is just not appealing to me right now." But, that's what you do when you have kids, you suck it up and get out of bed. Kids first, Mom second.
When I returned from walking my little one across the street to school, he's the last out of the house in the morning, with a late start of 8:30AM (that's a joke for you that don't get up at 5:30 to get 2-3 different shifts of people out of the house on time), I came in to read my horoscope.
This is generally how my day starts - 3 hours of family rise & shine'ing, then on to my day.
Meetings, client proposals, presentations, and then back in time for the 3p-5p pick ups. It never ends. Then who's responsible for dinner - oh, yeah that's me too.
So today I am spending a large portion of the day catching up with my writing. Then I will work on a pressing presentation, then I will take a nap. The first nap I have had in years.
Everything else, I will put off for tomorrow. Why?
Because I can.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Denver...My City

I fell in love with Denver within 3 days of moving here. I have lived all over the world and initially the attraction to snowboarding and hiking, and all the outdoor activities Denver has to offer year round is what inspired me.

The longer I lived here, the more I realized what a charmer Denver really was. As a community, Denver tries with all it's heart to offer everything any big city has to offer; fantastic restaurants, marketable and fashionable retail shops, a sporadic, yet solid nightlife, and even a young but workable rail system. Denver shows up.

This weekend Denver housed the People's Fair, a community driven free event where live music is showcased among local artisans and food vendors. For 2 days at Civic Center Park locals and tourists alike can mill around taking in the sights and sounds of what Denver has to offer.










Zeut








Simultaneously, downtown, La Piazza dell'Arte, which is advertised as the Rocky Mountains preeminent street chalk event, took place. This event brought chalk artists from all over the world to the streets of Larimer Square right downtown in our fair city.


This outdoor fair encouraged locals and tourists alike, to find the artist within themselves and draw, photograph and really enjoy the city streets in a new light.


Even European artists showcased their brilliant concepts on our art friendly streets as we soaked in in like a fresh ray of sunlight after a long, gray winter.


Kids and dogs alike, families, couples and even the mayor enjoyed this beautiful weekend in Denver connecting with the community. Making Denver a great city to live and love.
The all weather fans never forget what this city has to offer year round, boasting Pro teams in all sports. Go Broncos!

Denver...My City.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

When did we become so unaware and unconcerned with our ass cracks?

I saw something so disturbing this weekend I actually walked out of a retail store.
The employee behind the counter had on a pair of jeans which were designated "hipsters", and yes, she had a bit more junk in the trunk than is probably appreciated by the designer of those particular jeans, but no matter. To each his own right? What stood out to me was her trashy thong underwear which I could clearly see sticking out above the jean line.
So, if you can visualize... imagine with me... a sausage being choked by a farmer (in denim) and a dirty bow projecting from the death grip.
I stared and I stared like a stereo-typical American tourist in any other country. Almost hoping she would feel my stare and turn around to see where the heat on her ass was coming from. Hoping she would pull up her belt-less pants so I would not be forced to gawk at her crack with the dirty bow protruding from it. Desperately hoping she would just tug at the pants to cover the plumber crack with the feminine accessory accenting the inevitable downfall of American youth.
I have seen a lot of horrible Cosmo "Dont's" in the last decade, but this warranted attention. I felt like I was obligated to tell someone. But, I didn't want to get her fired, or embarrass her or even have her reprimanded at work, I simply wanted to shop without having to look at her ass. Is that too much to ass-k?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

What You know about Vegas?

I will start with, "I LOVE VEGAS". Girls like me live for weekends in places like Vegas. This town never sleeps. All night long, you can do whatever the hell lights your fire, and you know what that means? No limitations.
No last call.
No public consumption charges.
No bottomless whining about what you didn't get to do. If you missed out on something it's because you were too lame or too slow to get it. Too bad, so sad. Keep up!
Playing with the Big Dogs - This is Vegas.
There is always a new club. Hot parties. Better looking chicks. Richer men. The top of the top, and the bottom of the bottom. Because there is always balance. In life there must always be balance.
As there are the best hotels there are the worst. The hottest women rival the skankiest skank. For every good looking, rich business man, there is a dirty con waiting to scam you out of something. Stay on your toes.

Old School Vegas, where names like Sammy Davis Jr, Frank Sinatra and the mafia remind everyone of what this town was built on. Showgirls and serious casino nightlife defined Las Vegas. Before nightclubs, strip joints and bachelor parties were the epicenter of the revolution of weekends in Vegas; before anyone gave a damn about spa's and buffet's, Las Vegas represented a sexy debauchery you could only be cool enough to partake in. Vince Vaughn showcased this in the film Swingers. Finding Hot Babies in Vegas was as easy as getting served alcohol at a black jack table. The Strip has made an international name for itself based on a lifestyle which started before strip-ers were even trendy.


Today we have the new hotness which changes every month. Clubs like Pure, Tao and Body English make their names on being new, trendy, and home to visiting celebrities. Clubs like Drai's have lasted long and hard because of their reputation for a rock-star party atmosphere. The party doesn't begin until 2a and rocks on until most Vegas tourists are getting out of bed to head down to their hotel pool.
The Maloof brothers have made a name for themselves as trend setters. They are ahead of the curve. This is what you have to represent to stay ahead in the hottest international destination for adults. The Maloof hotels and nightclubs have TV shows as backdrops. MTV hosted a Real World season there; not because their show was so hot, but because it had dropped in ratings and needed a boost to get viewers back in the hole. What could possible attract 15-30 years olds back into a weekly TV series? Why a weekly trip to seductive Vegas my friend. Whoever came up with the idea of housing the 7 strangers in the Palms Hotel was genius. Sexy 20 year olds having drunken hot tub sex and dancing sexily with one another in charming threesomes atop the newest Maloof Casino Nightclub Rain was just the icing on the topless cake. The Palms did a great job of drawing America right back into the MTV frenzy - keeping it hot, keeping it sexy - keeping it Vegas.

Bars like Ghostbar, Moon and the Playboy Club are keeping the attention of Vegas tourists, not only because they represent something fun and sizzling, but because The Palms is Rockin' and everyone who is someone (or not) wants to be a part of what's HOT in Vegas.


Everyone including liquor sponsors of nightlife and those that have something to gain by the high rolling/ rock star mentality which accompanies the funnest adult playground this side of the Mississippi.
Every girl who has ever grown up thinking she wanted to be a Playboy Bunny, or Carmen Electra, or Pam Anderson, or just married to a fuckin' rock star - these girls know you have to go to Vegas. You have to be a Life star. You have to rockin' hot, and sexier than you even know how to be. Because simply stated Vegas is sexy and everyone in the recesses of their mind wants to be a little sexy. Even my 85 year old Nana wanted to be a little sexy, even on her deathbed. She wasn't taking visitors without having someone help her with her hair and makeup. Her Pastor came for a visit and he wasn't allowed into her room until she felt her look was appropriate for any gentleman callers.
This is what I call old school Vegas - right till the end.

Public Service Announcement

DISCLAIMER: Excessive foul language
My apologies ahead of time


This blog is a result of my morning workout. Thank you MalaniKai for reminding me to give this public service announcement.
If you are sick - don't go to the Gym, where healthy people are trying to work out - and actively stay healthy.
Today (and this is not the 1st time), I'm getting my work out on! and this trifling, inconsiderate, sick, coughing, walker steps onto the treadmill next to me. Now, maybe if she was running (at least walking uphill), I'd have more sympathy...not really, but you can walk anywhere. Walk your ass to the mailbox. Walk to the store. Walk to your bff's house - I don't care, but why come to a public place where healthy people are actively trying to stay healthy and start spreading your germs. And you're not even putting any effort into your lazy ass workout.
Just plain, damn inconsiderate.
AND, such commonplace among American behavior today.

This could start an entirely new blog about why trifling parents drop off their sick, runny nose, pink-eye, whooping cough, crying kids at school, pre-school, nursery school, etc etc etc - with no f'n regard for other kids, other working parents, the teachers, and even the lunch lady. I know the economy is bad, but don't pretend you can't find someone to watch that snotty nosed kid for one friggin' day.
But, that's another blog - I'm sick of picking my kid up from school, with some new contagion that little Johnny or little Suzy brought to class. I shouldn't have to find out there is a new strand of chicken pox, b/c some inconsiderate parent happily dropped it off in my kids class. Now, I have to take a week off work, b/c this INCONSIDERATE, trifling Bitch or her Bitch-Assed Husband, ex-husband, Baby-Daddy, WHATEVER wouldn't stay home one day to wait for an antibiotic to kick in.
But, I digress, back to this blog on INconsiderate MoFo's who don't have enough courtesy to "STAY THE FUCK HOME when you are sick".

It's like that concept of how people catch the HIV - it's like sleeping with however many people the last person you slept with, slept with. At least then you have a choice - If your dumb ass doesn't want to wear a condom, you know you are going to be getting a little bit of the last 15 people that guy/ girl slept with.
If someone walks into your office, school, GYM, etc with their FUNK, coughing and sneezing in your face you have lost the control of your physical environment and been un-willfully exposed to someone's gross shit.

#1 Pet Peeve - you feeling me?
Not Appreciative.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

On Turning 40


It seems I waited and waited for this birthday. I knew it would be life changing. I started my year thinking, "This year is going to be stellar for me; career-wise, in my womanhood, and just lifestyle changes." I had big plans for the year I turned 40.
Well, yesterday came and went.
Nothing spectacular happened. I went to work. I had appointments. People canceled on me. I went home. I made dinner. My kids sang. No big deal. Over the weekend I had events which were fun, but nothing screamed "You're 40 now!"
It really was just another birthday.
Then my God-father called. He said, he "was calling all old, broke-down women '40 and above', and I now made the list". This is my God-father. He stated, couldn't talk long, because "he doesn't talk to old women long". My mom's oldest and dearest childhood friend. Someone who tells it like it is, and you better not get your feelings hurt.
And I laughed. For the first time, all day, all weekend, I laughed.
We joked about his age. He turned the pointer back to me, and I laughed some more. I had now seen two sides to the coin. The side I was looking forward to - "fabulous and 40", and the side he brought me back to reality with, "it's all downhill from here baby, YOU OLD".
I still have so many plans for this year, and I know that 40 is the new 25 (for me at least), but all in all, I chalked it up to another day and made my schedule out for the rest of the week like I normally do on Mondays. Soccer practice tomorrow, Orchestra concert, lunches, dinners, dishes. Coffee with a girlfriend. Hopefully squeeze in a date night. Girls Night out - mandatory~

On turning 40

It seems I waited and waited for this birthday. I knew it would be life changing. I started my year thinking, "This year is going to be stellar for me; career-wise, in my womanhood, and just lifestyle changes." I had big plans for the year I turned 40.
Well, yesterday came and went.
Nothing spectacular happened. I went to work. I had appointments. People canceled on me. I went home. I made dinner. My kids sang. No big deal. Over the weekend I had events which were fun, but nothing screamed "You're 40 now!"
It really was just another birthday.
Then my God-father called. He said he "was calling all, old, broke-down women 40 and above, and I now made the list". This is my God-father, and he couldn't talk long,because "he doesn't talk to old women long". My mom's childhood friend. Someone who tells it like it is, and you better not get your feelings hurt.
And I laughed. For the first time, all day, all weekend, I laughed.
We joked about his age. He turned the pointer back to me, and I laughed some more. I had now seen two sides to the coin. The side I was looking forward to - "fabulous and 40", and the side he brought me back to reality with, "it's all downhill from here baby, YOU OLD".
I still have so many plans for this year, and I know that 40 is the new 25 (for me at least), but all in all, I chalked it up to another day and made my schedule out for the rest of the week like I normally do on Mondays. Soccer practice tomorrow, Orchestra concert, lunches, dinners, dishes. Coffee with a girlfriend. Hopefully squeeze in a date night.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Elementary School

After yet another day of struggling to get my child ready for school, I realize I must direct my frustration to the source. After 2 years of Pre-school and seeing my child's growth and desire for learning, we switched to a public school that I thought could offer my child more cultural diversity and a more complete learning opportunity. A different viewpoint and the choice of expanding the academic arena.
Almost two years later, I realize I made an error in judgment, and there are some things I will have to teach my child at home; besides manners, cultural diversity, social responsibility, etc.
I will have to let school solely serve purpose for academics.

I usually try to be as objective as possible when offering my opinion or experiences of anything because I do realize it is merely my opinion. So, I came up with a list of "thank you's" I'd personally like to offer Montclair Elementary School and the Denver Public School system.

First and foremost, thank you for never closing or delaying schedule for snow days.
Thank you for allowing my child to be harassed on the playground and allowing him the opportunity to learn new words even I don't know the meaning of.
Thank you to the principal for threatening my 6 year old child directly for events which happened while you were on maternity leave.
Thank you to the teachers which single out children for personal humiliation.
Thank you for segregating classrooms.
Thank you for changing my child's love of learning to a detestation of school.
Another thank you to the principal for engaging in a personal, emotional, unprofessional argument with my ex-husband on the topic of "unsubstantiated reasons your child was pulled from the accelerated class and placed in a marginal learning/ 50% esl class" - this was comical at best.
Thank you for the worst 2 years of my child's life.
Thank you for affirming why private school should always be an option.
Thank you Denver Public School system for keeping it real - Real mediocre.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Guns and the Promise of Tomorrow

This morning when I woke up, I turned my cell phone on and got ready to shower. My phone immediately went off and there was a voice message from last night from my sister.
Her 80 year old, kind, generous, lovely spirited grandmother had been shot and killed a couple blocks from her home.
Another RANDOM act of violence.
Black on Black crime.
Gun Violence.
Innocent bystander killed by a drive-by.

My sisters message was very powerful. We have different moms, and different maternal grandmothers, but we are very close and I consider her mom my mom. Note: our father was also killed by gunfire. But he lived a very different lifestyle. It was not random. He was not innocent.



Her message reminded me of how short and precious life is. She reminded me of my mantra, "Live every day like it's your last...don't take anything for granted...just LIVE."
She said, "Tomorrow is not promised."

This is a tragedy for everyone when something so unnecessary and violent smacks a community with it's internal hate. These problems will never cease. Teenagers with guns. Poverty. Gangs. Grandmothers driving their friends home getting shot in the head. Senseless. Her message was very emotional and reminded me of my struggle with staying positive. I feel tested often. I feel like LIFE sometimes sabotages my efforts at being positive. Hearing her voice, and feeling her anger. Internalizing that energy which can consume you if you let it, reminded me to stay calm. I took my shower. I went to work. I proceeded with my day. I didn't share my knowledge with anyone because I didn't know how to vocalize those feelings and stay positive. How can you stay positive? I understand her anger. I am angry.
I believe in karma.
I don't believe in personal retribution and vindictive behavior. Because of my belief in karma I turn the other cheek. I try to teach my kids to turn the other cheek. I try to love everyone, even when I get nothing back.
Just a couple weeks ago I wrote a blog about their being enough love in the world to go around. Today it's hard to share love. It's hard to look people in the eye. There is no music that can make this feeling go away right now.

Ski vs. Sand

I have been researching for an entire year on a new vacation spot to spend my 40th birthday with my favorite people. After a year of intensive searching, which included possibilities of Nevis, Greece, and even Cabo (not new not fresh, but convenient to my brother who lives in LA), it has been determined that due to circumstances beyond everyones control - this trip will not happen.
My sister is graduating law school and taking the bar. My brother just bought his first home and is planning a wedding this summer. My S.O. has a daughter graduating high school simultaneously occurring the week we were to travel. So, after a year of planning for me, the end result is travel alone, or wait until the end of the summer instead of my birthday month.
In the meanwhile I am trying to put together a mini-vacation. I just need to get away If only for 3 days, or for a week, I want to go somewhere. I have severe cabin fever. Now, my issue is getaway to a beach, and hope for a romantic getaway, or drive up to a local ski resort and have a few days of clean air and the possibility of a romantic getaway.



I am a beach baby. I need sun for sure, but I don't want to spend the money for a funtastic time someplace I've been a million times before and waste money that could go towards my big trip at the end of the summer. I know I just want to get away, so it really doesn't matter where I go to clear my head and have some peace. The value of the sun is not being overlooked, and there is some pretty good sun to be had on the mountain.








I think I have more issue with the fact that it's my 40th birthday and it's a landmark for me. I'm kind of a birthday whore anyway, so the fact that I will turn 40 without a cough in the empty auditorium kind of bums me out. I certainly do not want a pity party for myself, but it would be nice to be acknowledged and have my friends and family excited to celebrate an important day to me - at the end of the day the sand is just dirt and the snow will melt without my family and friends to share it with.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Poetry

I have forgotten the beauty of poetry
flow-etry
the rhythm of the words
the music in my soul
the dance of the letters.

Slow like jazz in a hip hop world
my best dress
your low slung jeans
my heels
your sneakers
the piano plays in the background

The taste of one drop of syrup
on my eggs
butter and cream cheese
in a soy based diet
Toffee Nut cream in my coffee

poetry and music
beats and rhymes
thoughts and voices
MINE
MINE

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

1st PETA PooPoo of 2008

So, I'm surfing the TV last night, bored out of my mind, and as usual, I can't find anything interesting to watch. I wait 5 minutes and take another lap, rationalizing the commercials must be in rotation about now, and I can get a different perspective of all the visual trash.
Boom!
Model show.
I love model TV. Why? You ask. I have been modeling off and on since I was 12 years old. For those who know me, every 5 years or so I show up in some random TV commercial (must subconsciously explain my need to watch every commercial so intensely). Print is my specialty - lifestyle and athletic to be specific, but strictly a commercial print girl here. So, I've always had a secret admiration for runway and high fashion models. I'm an everyday kinda model, people don't notice me in the catalogs only the clothes, luggage, and watch I wear. I get to make my money and maintain my lifestyle with out any celebrity and annoying people calling me to audition and go on castings everyday. Please note teeny bit of sarcasm there friends.
But, I have a special place in my heart for the tall and skinny that can work a runway and make thick, black, smudged eyeliner look fabulous. I love a girl that has a body of a 12 year old boy that can wear heels taller than me and stomp a runway like she is going to war.
Love these women.
So, I am a secret fan of Tyra's ANTM, Janice Dickenson (even though she is crazy as hell), and the new Niki Taylor/Tyrese [HOTT] MAKE ME A SUPER MODEL BABY show.
I even love the fashion (via Heidi Klum - "work it Mama") and photography reality shows even though the models hardly get any face time. I'm addicted.
So, I'm breezing through round TWO of the cycle and I see Crazy "I'm the 1st Super Model" Dickenson with a PETA rep on her show, explaining to the sensitive models she has in her stable how awful the process of de-furring animals is, and how they should never wear fur or work for a client who uses fur.
During this 3 minute piece, they show the models video of horrible atrocities and ask them to please stand up for what PETA stands for. Then ask the models to walk Hollywood Blvd (yes, the same Hollywood Blvd where many hookers are picked up, and even the same Hollywood Blvd where Hugh Grant was arrested getting oral before his sexy model dumped him) with signs which read "I'd rather go naked than wear fur".
Naked on Hollywood Blvd. OK. Then...you'll love this, the PETA rep and Janice proceeded to tell the models how the possibility of getting arrested was likely, but "hey, it's only a misdemeanor", and how many times have you been arrested, Mr. PETA Rep? - "Oh, hell Janice, I stopped counting after 20" he responded. Because getting arrested is something to be taken lightly these days.
.

Not getting enough media attention with the TV show? Serious. There are far better ways to make a statement without getting arrested. Far better ways to market a point. Far better ways to be successful and influence a country without asking easily influenced, employees I might add, to risk jail time (I don't care if it's only 10 minutes - jail sucks), fines and public embarrassment.
But I must sound like a broken record, huh PETA?
And to Crazy "1st Super Model" Dick... - Good for you for having a fur-free agency. Know when to draw the line. Oh, and don't drink the kool-aid.

Work in progress...

"What is REAL?" asked the rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse." You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

I attended an event for my significant other's daughter and one of the high school seniors who spoke quoted this passage from my favorite children's book of all time. The irony of the importance of this book is remarkable b/c I didn't have the opportunity to read it until I was grown and married, and my mother-in-law found out I had never read it...so she gave it to me as a gift. I treasure this book for so many reasons. I appreciate the thoughtfullness behind the gesture of the gift, but I appreciate this story I think every child should understand. When I heard the most valuable part of the story outloud it was hard to hold back the emotions that touched me deeply. I didn't know the story of the girl who wept as she read her speech, but I knew those feelings in high school when it mattered to be Real, when you weren't. And it mattered what people thought. I also knew how terribly overwhelming it was when I was no longer ugly (except to people who didn't understand) and it no longer mattered.

Here's to having all your hair loved off~

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

speaking of diversity...

My live-in BF had a unique concept about the celebration of diversity and of MLK day on Monday. He thought that without people like Dr. King, we might not be together (as a couple). He has decided that MLK is responsible for us being free to date in this society - outside the shackles of racism. I think that concept varies from city to city as I still see stories daily of KKK rallies and incidents of hatred in cities like Jena. I think we are lucky to live in a fairly open city.

I made a point to him that if it were not for Dr. King and the freedoms that we have here in the states I probably wouldn't live here (and thus, we may have never met :). I would never tolerate the injustices that I see on a day to basis on the news. I would never continue to live in a city where I was called out of my name regularly. It would never occur to me that intolerance and hatred was a way of life. Even before I had traveled anywhere I had turned on a TV, I had read a newspaper, I knew right from wrong.
I realize that I am different. I have no issue packing up all my things and getting in my car and driving away. Away from ignorance, away from a bad job, away from a f'd-up relationship, away to my peace of mind. Freedom is expensive, but the most valuable treasure you can have; If you appreciate.
If you don't know any different, it may seem unattainable or overrated.
I can't imagine not being free to do what I want , when I want, with whom I want to do it with. I would never live in a place that didn't allow those freedoms, so it never occurred to me that a celebration was in order.
It is easy to take things for granted when you get a glimpse through someone else's eyes.

I have noticed in my travels that a lot of other countries, although burdened with religious wars and sexist practices, poverty and desperation; racism is not such a celebrated way of life as it is here in America. Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.
But, these are only things that I, personally, have noticed. We have the notion here that in France there is a commonly held stereotype that Americans are stupid and crass, and very disliked. My experience proved very different. I tried diligently to practice my French, and my best manners at all times, and I found Parisians helpful and excited to know what I was doing in their country. Extremely surprised that I was American, but very open and friendly to my visit to their beautiful country.
We have some great cities in our nation, but we have an overcast of gloom as well. I feel pretty lucky to live in a city if feel comfortable and safe in. A community not riddled with hatred, smacking of daily reminders of racism and inferiority. But, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Diversity


I was out this weekend with a group of friends I don't generally hang out with. This is right up my alley because I love going out. I love meeting new people and I love seeing what people are up to.
The woman that invited me out, I have known for quite a while, yet we have never gone out on the town together. I was introduced to all her friends and we had a blast.
The thing I noticed first about this group was how different everyone was and the 2nd thing was how beautiful everyone's energy was. The natural smiles, the easy laughter. I am constantly surprised by how many cool people I am still meeting on a regular basis. When you open yourself up to meeting great individuals, you do.

I have been immersing myself in activities to meet new people recently. Joining new events, signing up for all sorts of different groups and even taking some classes. I met a group of people online a few years ago. A group of people dedicated to going out on the town and eating and drinking at new places downtown. A good friend called this group my "potluck" meeting. You never knew who would be there or what you would get. It was interesting to me, but not super fun. I have found far better ways to meet people with similar interests and see what people are up to in life.

Yesterday was the official national celebration of Dr. King's birthday. A day of recognizing peace and sacrifice for equality. For me a celebration of diversity. A great reminder to keep on doing what I'm doing because people sacrifice life to allow interactions with (and of) all races, religions and creeds. A day to celebrate having a potluck.

Friday, January 4, 2008

2008...I am Legend

Welcome Back ;)

2008
"il faut que j'y arrive" and I am finally here. This has been a year of so much change and self-realization... and as 2007 came to a close I watched "I am Legend". I was apprehensive because I thought it was about zombies or monsters (based on the trailers). As it unfolded I realized how much deeper the film really was. Everything I know in my heart, but don't really get a chance to speak on very often.
Man and his incurable desire to fix things, save others, and play God.
Injecting music and love into the world to fight hatred.
Faith.
The ability to listen and hear God's voice, and then do the unselfish thing.



My daughter was almost named Marley, and that struck a chord with me b/c at the time (12 years ago) it seemed more granola than unique, so we opted on Madelene instead.

I still see now how much love in the world can change people's lives.






This past year, it has been reinforced over and over that there is enough love for everyone. This is one of the things that my Nana tried to tell me, that I couldn't understand. That and her faith. Lost on the science of my education. But, I get it.

In the last 2 months, I have been inundated with film, book and introduction to people that have graciously offered their support and blessings on my life. Little voices I have heard.
I awoke to 2008 realizing how blessed I am. My family. My lifestyle. My home. The love I have to share with the world. I asked for signs and I chose to see them this time. I cannot express the abundance of goodness I feel around me. As I approach age 40 this year, all I can say is, "Bring it on".