And the baby is a senior

As school starts this year and all the "First Day" photos pop up on all the social medias, I settle in and think about what this year means to my child and to myself.

A seventeen year old girl. 

Last year of high school. The excitement of the future; not just college, but an entire lifetime ahead. Marriage...her own children...career options...OPTIONS... the whole world ahead of anyone is the most exciting time in everyone's life.
Choices.
Opportunities.
The world as your oyster and at your fingertips.
I relived my first days of senior year. The thoughts of college. The thoughts of leaving the nest.
I thought I loved her 16 years, 11 months and 25 days ago. Today, I can barely breathe thinking of my life without her even a semester at a time.
She drives the car.
She makes me laugh.
She follows instructions and challenges me.
She laughs at my jokes and makes me cringe at the future.
This doll is my world. My everything from the day she first took a breath and I didn't even know it.
Slowly she has taken over my entire sense of self.
Everything I do in life, I think of her needs first. She doesn't know it, but I couldn't move forward if she weren't there. Not anymore. I don't brush my teeth without wondering if she brushed hers. I don't cook without thinking what she can't stand on her plate.
When the news is on I worry about her. Every parent has these moments, I know. Children change lives. Bigger than anything imaginable.Now, and then. Little, then BIG. Then bigger. Then bigger than that.
Her life is my life.
My first born.
My soul kept.