Sixth Sense

“When one is pretending, the entire body revolts.” ~ Anaïs Nin


This is the sixth sense I have tried to alert people to for the last 43 years of my life. Even as a child I knew when something was wrong; when people were different.
I knew when my father was lying, I knew when my mother was uncomfortable, I knew when my Nana was withholding information from me. For whatever reasons, when people find themselves avoiding (or disguising) their natural responses, their body reacts, and IF you are paying attention, you will see it clearly.

Women love to talk about their intuition. Why do we discuss women's intuition and not men in the same context? I believe it has something to do with the innate need to nurture. I have female friends who never notice anything about the character of other's. When I try to point out a strange behavior, or a weird incident, they are always surprised, "You think so!" Always. So, intuition isn't designated to women, and it isn't limited from men.
Naturally, women are more inclined to care about the feelings of others and want to take care of people. Whereas, men tend to be more concerned with gathering food and fire - the natural tendencies of man. Men are quite capable of this intuition when they pay attention, sit and analyze, or evaluate, but many tend to find it less important.

"When one is pretending" - it is such a simple statement. When one is pretending to care. When one is pretending to engage. When one is pretending to love. When one is pretending alliance. When one is pretending loyalty.
The body is one's own worst enemy in light of discovery.
Common signs such as sweating, enlarged pupils, or a fast heart rate are easily detectable. Even the police and criminal agencies use those telltale signs to weed out "pretenders". But it's the small, unnoticeable signs that most of the public would never pick up on, but those who know you intimately smell before it's even released. The slight eye movements, the rubbing of one's face, the slight pause in answer which usually does not exist. Is women's intuition nothing but the sociological observations of the one(s) they love?

My son lied to me the other morning and it wasn't the small lie that struck me as eye-opening, it was his smirk. The tiny smile as he let the untrue words slide out of his mouth. The "I'm about to get away with something" grin which reminded me so much of my father that I felt physical distaste for my son in that moment.
People seem so surprised to be discovered. I always respond, "because you don't think I know you, because you don't think I love you enough to notice, because you underestimated my feelings for you...you did not think I would notice the difference."
Your underestimation of people in the world, and their capacity for love is what keeps you from the most open and gracious relationships in your lifetime. When you free yourself to believe that that love exists for you, you will stop being surprised when it shows up.

Eric Jerome Dickey... meet Anais Nin

I have been waiting a month for Eric Jerome Dickey's new novel "Pleasure". I have read every single book ever written by this man, and I'm sure I'm in intellectual love. His talent rides the short end of the stick all the way to his infinite wisdom (and sociological prowess) on the long end.

Each of his novels inspires me to write and continue to read every single day. I get sucked into his stories and savor each, next word voraciously. His women are sensual, uncommon beings. Unique and beautiful, his descriptions of them bring you right into their life as if you were their sisters or best friends.

I looked forward to this book with as much anticipation as the last dozen. I couldn't find it at the bookstore(s). The library didn't have a copy on hand and I finally ordered one and received it over the weekend. As I opened the first page I read, "Be careful Anais, abnormal pleasures kill the taste for normal ones". This is a quote from the film Henry & June, which told the love story of Anais Nin and Henry Miller and the demise of her purity as she was enveloped into the sordid relationships and lifestyle of Henry Miller. Note, the sultry June (Henry's other lover) was played by Uma Thurman, and it is one of her best performances ever - reminiscent of Betty Davis back in the day.

After I watched this film, I was drawn to Anais Nin and her life. Her writings and her motivation. She is a quiet soul with a dark spirit. Her writings are intense and at times difficult to understand due to the depth of her intent.

So, to be re-introduced to one of my favorite writers via an urban vehicle by my favorite contemporary writer was almost too much to bear. How could these two souls have anything in common? As different at New Orleans and Belgium, or are they really different at all? It has taken me 3 days to pick up the book again, because I am terrified that everything I admire about one of these writers will be unveiled as false. Or everything I believe in life will be revealed as truth.

We are all connected.

What I believe as the lifesource for all beings and visualize through writing and art and music is also seen by another being on this planet. Someone who thinks like me.
And the topic...this terrifies me as well.


To be continued...