Liars and the ease of conscience

I have watched two seasons of Dexter over the past week. A brilliantly written drama for Showtime based on the concept of a serial killer within the police department. The ins and outs of what motivates and propels a killer are the basics of what makes this show work. What is fascinating about the main character is his ability to mask a facade to every other character in his life as being what everyone wants and needs him to be.

photo courtesy screenrant.com

He is a hard worker and diligent forensics specialist. He is a caring brother and boyfriend. He is a genuine and good-hearted role model to children. Everyone views him as emotionally neutral. We learn he actually void of any emotion at all. He has been trained to keep his sickness under wraps. Within this training, he has learned how to effectively keep the entire world around him from knowing who he is. Every statement is a lie. Every movement a dance to keep his secret safe, and keep himself free.

In life, we as a society are accustomed to most people around us telling little "white lies" to make themselves feel better, or to make someone else feel better. We consider these non-active lies. They don't hurt anyone. They aren't impactful...in theory.

The reality is - every lie is powerful. Every lie creates a pretense of illusion.
Even the lie of omission propagates fantasy of being.
The only reason people lie is to ease their own conscience. There is no other reason and no purpose.
Keeping the world around us happy - keeping ego's satiated - when did that become our job? When did it become more important to appease the ego instead of demanding respect and honoring friendships and relationships by being honest?
Little things, such as, "no, your ass does not look good in those pants", to big things, such as "yes, I hooked up with that girl on my trip." It comes down to choices. The choice to trust people around you, and that they will still love you, with all your flaws. The decision to let people choose who they want to spend their time, and their lives with - someone who has your back even when it's ugly - or with someone that will sugar coat and provide a fictitional stage life with no real characters, only surface relationships. A stage where no one knows anything true about anyone else - they simply tell a story plotted by the perceptions of each participant.

I have friends who lie to my face and I know they are lying and I accept it because I don't want to embarrass them. Lovers lie to protect their actions and I want to expose them with all the scattered evidence they leave about, carelessly and thoughtlessly. Part of what defines me is my choice to maintain a circle around me of people who not only appreciate my integrity to them but who honor me the same way.
"I lie to everyone I know", Dexter states to one of his final victims. Why? Because you don't have to be vulnerable. You don't have to establish rapport. If a serial killer can be honest about how easy it is to be detached, why can't everyone else? I mean we aren't killing each other...