In general, I do not give money to people who beg. It sucks. I don't like guilt. I don't have extra money to give to everyone who asks, so on some level, I have simply resolved to giving to no one. I also feel like when people ask me for money, I want to tell my story and ask if they want to help feed my kids, I mean, yeah, I have a job, but I have earned everything I have, and yes its hard.
But, I am done taking food out of my kids mouth to feed a stranger. I commit my time. I donate clothing, cell phones, cars and furniture and anything I have to help, but cash money is a hot commodity these days.
Fast forward to today. Maddi and I are at the grocery and a visibly pregnant woman approaches the car and says she is trying to get back to Boulder and the express bus is $5 and she just needs help getting home.
She is young and pregnant, and seems distressed. What to do? She also reminds us of an old friend who was pregnant last year. Personal accountability, as a human being, on some level.
I don't have cash but tell her to wait and when I am done grocery shopping, I will bring her cash.
I gave her a $10 after we finished and told her, I didn't know if she was hungry too, but good luck.
Maddi said, "what if she was a con artist"? Hmmm, who taught her that? I simply answered, maybe she is, but I remember being pregnant, and I was hungry all the time... and begging sucks. So, hopefully she really needed the help and gets where she needs to go, and my daughter has learned there are exceptions to every rule.
But, it weighed on my mind because I like to set a good example, I like to be consistent, and I want my kids to know that there are always exceptions, but doing the right thing is your choice, not reflective on how people accept it, or take advantage of it. That is solely on them.
Good day.
Thanks for the post. I don't really struggle with that but I completely understand. Since I am a skeptic of everything, I do ponder the intentions of those I see asking for money; however, as I have stated to my kids and a few friends who I have recently discussed this with, the only intentions we should be concerned about is our own if we decide to give. You hope the person is really in need because, as you know, we are not free from need ourselves so we are taking from our own to help someone else out. My son helped a homeless guy by not only taking him into Wal-Mart and buying him a pack of underwear but, also, giving him ride to where he needed to go and giving him $20. My son stated to me that he wants to know what he did with that money which was so cute to me but I had to explain to him that if you give, you give without expectation and, hopefully, you will be all the better for it and so will the person you helped. I saw a man the other day whose sign said he was stranded and was trying to get home to his family. I told my friend that, if I had the money, instead of giving him some, I would rather take him to the bus station and buy him a one way ticket to his destination. I think that is the way I am going to remedy this situations now. If I see someone who is hungry, I will go buy food just for them and give it to them and so on. I do want to help but I want to know I'm truly helping, ya know, instead of supporting a habit or contributing to another deception in this world. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Great points. It is a challenging spot, especially from a parents perspective.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments.