2 Types of Women

"Marriage is not the "destination" for a relationship. Beyond the legal joining of two people, marriage is supposed to be the natural, spiritual re-connection of two souls that recognize each other in this thing called Life. If you're getting married for any other reason, you may end up disappointed." This quote by Charles Orlando, author of The Problem with Women Is Men, is the new topic of the day, and clearly draws a line in the sand between the two types of women I know.
Not to say there aren't many types of women out there and we are all unique and fantastically unparalleled individuals, but there are generally two schools of thought amongst women who have a desire to get married. I repeat, "A DESIRE TO GET MARRIED".
These two schools of thought are defined clearly above and I want to go a step further, because men seem to be under the impression that ALL women are keyed in to the first school of thought, and have a difficult time relating to those of us connected to the second school of thought.

The first school of thought is that women and men get into a  relationship with the intent of eventually getting married. This is why women date, to find a suitable man to marry, have babies and live happily ever after the most beautiful wedding on the planet. Every date after the first "get to know you session" has benign thoughts of, "how will my new last name sound with my first name?", "what will we name our children?", "will our parents get along?", "WHAT WILL MY DRESS LOOK LIKE?" Yeah, there we go, the fantasy all little girls were spoon fed: The wedding is the end goal. 

photo courtesy elizabeth&jane photography

These fantasies are also accompanied by a concept of a house, a certain number of children and usually a pet of some sort, to complete the picture. This school of thought has ended more marriages in divorce than any and every excuse typed on to a divorce document. Irreconcilable differences simply means, we were not made for another, under any uncertain circumstances.

The second school of thought is that women and men are all connected and have a deep desire to reconnect at the heart and soul. That marriage, if necessary, is a contract engaging each other, family, and community in the lifelong commitment of supporting the love and connection the couple has found.
It has nothing to  do with procreation, buying a house, tax breaks or an event.

The issues I have noticed in dating are connected to most men believing that ALL women subscribe to the first school of thought. Most men believe that we must ALL want the kids the house and a ridiculously overpriced wedding event to show the world, we did good. Even though most men will tell you, you're different, what they are thinking is, we are all after the same gold ring.

And women: Really, those of you (that I know personally), don't you want a man who A) knows the difference, and B) believes in the connection you have, not the concept he has been spoon fed?
The society we live in has spent an eternity defining and conditioning men and women to have roles. The reconditioning that it takes to get back to basics could take a lifetime to undo.