Maturing

I got the opportunity to hang with my seventeen year old daughter this weekend, just she and I, shopping, eating, chatting, and enjoying each other in laughter and bonding.

I have watched this girl intently for 17 years – every day every week. Watched her growing up, and becoming an individual; A strong, independent, intelligent young woman.  Free willed and stubborn but charming and witty, all the things that make a personality valuable.

All the great things I noticed about her this weekend, I realize I nurtured. Her vibrant personality full of humor and curiosity was seeded very early and allowed to bloom. Curiosity and questions were encouraged. When I didn’t know, I answered honestly, “I don’t know”. “Mommy isn’t good at that”. “Maybe we should look it up”. I encouraged use of the dictionary and thesaurus, and any other resources, to challenge questions, and even my own belief systems.

 I respect the ideas and ventures she wants to make. I enjoy watching her learn. This week she made me laugh again and again, and I value that. I understand this sense of humor she has and appreciate the young woman she has developed into. We shared a butt- gusting session over the dance move, “twerk”, and the action of “twerking”. If you do not know what this is, it is the act of standing on one’s hands, positioning the body upside down with feet placed against a wall, and then booty shaking…upside down. This is dancing. We laughed so hard and so long, I was certain I was getting a simultaneous ab workout. Then we both tried it. Even more hysterical laughter at this point, and I thought, I am so lucky to be sharing this moment…these moments with my daughter right now.

I told her that we should have our own reality show, just her and me. Laughing at all the ridiculous things we think are so outrageous and silly. Our everyday lives that we believe are so fun.  But, throughout the fun, the video watching, the talk of slang and what’s going on in high school, we also got to talk about serious topics. She got an opportunity to ask me about the pending election, the other candidates that get no press on mainstream TV, and all the amendments that are on our local ballot. I got the opportunity to share what I have learned and how I am voting this year on these  ”little things”.  I was glad to share the pros and cons of each issue and explain what I thought was important and why I was voting the way that I was voting. I also got to explain why it was important to the other side and what that meant. We take every opportunity to ask questions of each other and learn something different.

These experiences are invaluable. These experiences make relationships. These experiences are the ones that I hold onto because the memories turn into relationship foundations and structure. The maturing process of my child is also the maturation process of me. I am grateful for every moment, every day, every year.