Me... Today...another day in the life of...

This morning I woke up with a sense of clarity. Why have I always felt the need to be so nice to everyone?
I find myself, "killin' em with kindness", all the time. I know I do it. I have always done it.
Even when my best friends shit on me, I forgive and forget. Well I forgive.
I will never be able to forget some of the things that people have done, but I tolerate their presence because apparently my other friends have no sense of loyalty or trustworthiness. I still show up and am nice.
That's how I was raised:
funny sidebar via Chris Rock regarding "how you were raised".

Well, I was raised by the Golden Rule, treat people the way you want to be treated. So, even when I am being treated like shit, I still turn the other cheek and show kindness. Partially, because I think people need to be shown how to act. Perhaps, because even my ego wants me to show hate that I am above their disdain for other people they were designed to connect with.
I have been told I over-tip on bad service. I treat service people who are shitty to me with extra "thank you's" etc, to show I am unaffected by their rudeness. I go above and beyond to prove I was raised right.
Why?
This comes back to bite me in the ass.
Time after time, I am reminded that people will not treat you the same, because they don't give a shit.
But, I cannot bring myself to treating people poorly in response.
Newton's 3rd Law of Motion sums it up:
Every action does have a equal and opposite reaction, but generally, I believe this theory is only in response to the animal-istic knee jerk reaction, not the well thought out, I-will-think-before-I-act-reaction, which I am prone to.

I am constantly self-proposing alternate modes of being. I would like to see myself enlightened sometime in this lifetime, so I tend to extend boundaries(let lines in the sand be crossed), thinking that I may learn something.
I hope I have learned something. What? I am not sure, but this lifetime has shown me so many more levels of life and what it offers than I could ever imagine, and every day I am shown more light.
I hope I am never burdened with the darkness which is the opposite reaction of what I stand for in life.
Hope.
Give Thanks.
Remind myself every day to look for light and goodness, no matter what surrounds me.

Ex's

As I busily prepare my kids for their visit to their father's house this weekend. I juggle all the normal things that consume my day, my week, my life. Work, soccer practice, the gym, cooking, cleaning (well half assed cleaning), car pooling kids, playdates, library time, homework, etc etc etc - You feel me. I'm a normal mom.

Well, this weekends visit is a little different because I have to pack them for a formal occassion. My ex-husband is getting remarried this weekend. Now, this is a great thing, and I'm happy for him, and his new, young wife. I'm actually looking forward to my kids having an extension of their family - more people to love right?
But, here's the thing: in the last week, not only do I have my own schedule to deal with, but I'm getting phone calls at 7a asking "Do you know our divorce date?". Phone calls in the afternoon, "Hey, can I ask a favor of you?" , and my favorite today, "I just have a quick question - What temperature do you cook quiche on?"
Not just little reminders of our failed marriage but reminders of my competency as a parent, a cook, an organizer, and a friend...just not a wife.

So, what do I say, "Hey asshole, I don't cook quiche for you anymore, not in your kitchen, not in a cookbook reference guide by phone...not at all".
Do I say, "Doesn't the 20 year old cook?" Oh that's right, Chris Rock said it best "New P*%!y can't cook".
Or do I simply say "400 degrees here in Colorado, but since you're at a lower elevation, you might want to make it 375" ?

Is this really my life?