This morning I woke up with a sense of clarity. Why have I always felt the need to be so nice to everyone?
I find myself, "killin' em with kindness", all the time. I know I do it. I have always done it.
Even when my best friends shit on me, I forgive and forget. Well I forgive.
I will never be able to forget some of the things that people have done, but I tolerate their presence because apparently my other friends have no sense of loyalty or trustworthiness. I still show up and am nice.
That's how I was raised:
funny sidebar via Chris Rock regarding "how you were raised".
Well, I was raised by the Golden Rule, treat people the way you want to be treated. So, even when I am being treated like shit, I still turn the other cheek and show kindness. Partially, because I think people need to be shown how to act. Perhaps, because even my ego wants me to show hate that I am above their disdain for other people they were designed to connect with.
I have been told I over-tip on bad service. I treat service people who are shitty to me with extra "thank you's" etc, to show I am unaffected by their rudeness. I go above and beyond to prove I was raised right.
Why?
This comes back to bite me in the ass.
Time after time, I am reminded that people will not treat you the same, because they don't give a shit.
But, I cannot bring myself to treating people poorly in response.
Newton's 3rd Law of Motion sums it up:
Every action does have a equal and opposite reaction, but generally, I believe this theory is only in response to the animal-istic knee jerk reaction, not the well thought out, I-will-think-before-I-act-reaction, which I am prone to.
I am constantly self-proposing alternate modes of being. I would like to see myself enlightened sometime in this lifetime, so I tend to extend boundaries(let lines in the sand be crossed), thinking that I may learn something.
I hope I have learned something. What? I am not sure, but this lifetime has shown me so many more levels of life and what it offers than I could ever imagine, and every day I am shown more light.
I hope I am never burdened with the darkness which is the opposite reaction of what I stand for in life.
Hope.
Give Thanks.
Remind myself every day to look for light and goodness, no matter what surrounds me.
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