3 years and 1 day

This video has been circulating around FB on the topic of, "If you're not married, you're single".
http://www.facebook.com/ihustlenation
The host makes some valid points about acting like you're married when you're not (and letting someone use you up), and I have been that person, so I had to nod.
The part that made me stop and think was when he states, if you make a commitment to someone - "I am not going to see other people" - and then that commitment is broken - someone cheats - that person simply broke their word. They didn't break the law. They simply broke their word.
He likened this act to someone borrowing a pen and never bringing it back. That person simply broke their word, and you didn't get your pen back.
This is one way to look at it.
And this, my friends, is why people cheat.
I know there are some countries where if you steal a pen, they will chop off the thiefs hand. Where has our sense of personal integrity gone?
This is plain and simple greed. I want my pen and your pen too. I have a pen at home, but I'll just use this pen while I'm out...or travelling...or drinking. I can't just write with one pen at a time, I need a pocket full of pens so when I want a red letter then a blue letter, I can write in every color of the rainbow. Like a kid.
I'm not saying what is right and what is wrong. When I am in a monogamous relationship I appreciate that intimacy. When I am dating for sport, I appreciate the fun and simplicity of not having that intimacy. But, have some personal integrity. Every man who has said to me, point blank, this is what I want, this is what I need...blah blah blah, I have, at times, been shocked initially, but I appreciated the opportunity to decide (my personal choice) whether or not I wanted to participate.
We as human beings (especially Americans) tiptoe around each other, afraid of hurting each others feelings, when life would be so much easier to just state the obvious.
"This race has run its course."
"I'm bored with you."
"I'm not going to marry you, so let's part ways."
"You're an idiot."
Whatever it is you need to say to move on.
I have found, as a woman in my 40's, it is much easier to just state the facts. I don't find that people "get it" when you try to explain feelings, so like a journalist, simply state the facts. We have been taught to tell people, "I feel this" and "I feel that", in an attempt to make others feel better about what they aren't doing for you. "When you do that, it makes me feel like this". Who cares?
What if we just stopped putting so much energy into what we feel like, admit it doesn't feel good, and press on.
Fact: The way we interact makes me feel like shit. Goodbye.
Wouldn't that be so much simpler?
I was in a 3 year long relationship, and I honestly felt like I wasted 3 good years of my life, but who could I blame? Only myself. I let him take 3 years. I gave up 3 years when I could have been with someone that made me feel amazing. Then a friend said to me, just be glad it wasn't 3 years and 1 day. And I am.
Then I thought about Chris Rock, who I always turn to when I need a good honest guffaw.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6X0Qqxx3f0