Relationship Collateral

In changing jobs and moving, I have realized that there is always something that has to be given up to bring on the new and the good.

My new house is spacious and so much more comfortable. Yet, I miss my old neighborhood - the convenience of my workout regimen. Don't get me wrong, I love downtown but I love Wash Park the same. One brilliant exchange for another.

Today the same concept occurred to me regarding any relationship - you have to give up something to get something preferred in that moment.

Relationship Collateral

I quickly remembered a relationship which ended badly...and when I say badly, I mean, I went to this boyfriend's house only to be blocked at the door by a housemate who would not let me in because there was another woman in the house...mind you a house partially furnished by me. Bad.
I left that day happy that I knew the truth - confused because I had done nothing wrong, feeling used because my favorite lighting fixture was still hanging above a bed I bought, and stewing because there is no fury as a woman scorned. I will leave this particular piece of history which quickly followed this day, and the actions that followed, with the knowledge that I am now a better person, I leave people dirty doing's to their own personal karma, and yet I regret nothing about my retribution excepting the fact that I wish I could actually witnessed the look on this boyfriends face when he found out how I paid his infidelity back.
Today I experience a different relationship collateral - the concept of separating personal items, paying off debts incurred as a team, monetary (inclusive of but not limited to financial) debt. These things which are indicators of a more mature relationship.
But, nothing ever really changes.
Collateral damage is damage that is unintended or incidental to the intended outcome. At least one source claims that the term "collateral damage" originated as a euphemism during the Vietnam War and can refer to friendly fire, or the killing of non-combatants and the destruction of their property. (Wikipedia)
Funny how terms like this encompass an entire society and become a catch phrase based on behaviors which have become accepted on a day to day basis. In government terms, collateral damage is a part of war...in the terrorizing and killing of enemy countries, sometimes a few innocents must die, or their homes must burn down. A small sacrifice for the bigger picture.
In relationships, infidelity and lying to protect ones self in the light of maintaining a "relationship" is par for the course (no Tiger Woods pun intended). Sometimes sacrifice must be made to ensure one's personal gratification ...outside of commitments made.

In any case, collateral damage, whether a gifted lamp, or a broken soul, or a dead civilian is an indicator of how we fail each other and then desensitize ourselves to the actual value of each individuals gift to the world whether it be in purchase, life, or soul.