A woman scorned

I have a close friend who recently discovered the relationship she was in was based on a foundation of lies and deceit. I think we all have some experience with liars on some level. This is a historical story, almost trite, it's such a stereotype.

You know, there are two ways to end a relationship: with integrity and honesty, or with the same lies that weaved the very end of the same relationship.

I have been at the receiving end of both types. I have walked in on a man with another woman, more than once. The first time in high school, I was so shocked, I just walked out. I had no experience with this kind of deceit. The second time it happened, in college, I knew in my gut what I would find. I have uncovered emails to other women still professing undying love, and I have listened, more than once, to men "explain" why this was happening (see preceding blog on topic of explaining unacceptable behavior). Regardless, that gut feeling is usually right.

I have, more often than not, been in relationships that simply ended. No drama. No love lost. Just the end of the road. Men that knew when to say when, and walk away with some dignity and respect, not just for themselves, but for the person they were so in love with months before.

Here's the thing: when you have a relationship that ends with both parties understanding that some people just don't click for the long term, you also get two people that can walk away with dignity. When you have a situation where one person has been caught lying and cheating, you get bashed feelings and unsettled emotions, and the knowledge that perhaps everything your "relationship" was built on, is likely false. These feelings of falsehood, and deception, lead emotional types (women mostly) to very extreme positions to get the acknowledgment that they feel they deserve. Lorraina Bobbit is a fine example of this theory. I could write a thesis on why emotional attachments lead to destructive behaviors, but the commonality seems to be the total disregard for the heart and soul of the person on the receiving end of the emotional loss. The hidden secrets atop layers of lies. The lack of integrity. The thought of being "led on". Sound familiar?
Nothing rational exists between a person that has been expressed undying love, or a lifetime commitment of marriage only to find out, that some other woman has received the same promises, or even worse, just one night (or week, or month) of careless, thoughtless engagement. Then comes the Waiting to Exhale moment.

The obvious issue is the broken commitment which is disregarded for a fling.

The silent issue is the connection you thought you had because one person meant it and the other didn't. The deception behind the unspoken words. The connection one person falsifies in order to secure another notch. The disregard for another human being in seeking out short term emotional, or physical, gratification.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," has been sung over and over again, by various artists in various genre's, but we all get it. Reasonably, you never think it will be you that slashes some man's tires outside a lover's home. No woman ever wants to be the pissed off Bitch that throws a pet rabbit in a pot. I honestly believe it is rare that we as a sex have to be talked off the ledge over a man (or woman) - it's just that one time it does happen. Watch out.
What is frightening about a woman scorned is you never know where that emotion will take you. So, every reaction is destined to be unique.

"Maybe next time, he'll think before he cheats" ~Carrie Underwood