On being smiley

Over the past week, in response to my birthday, I received many wishes; many good thoughts and good energy - affirmations from all over the country, from all my friends and contacts. These affirmations were felt in my heart and soul and were cherished, as are my friends and relationships.
Today, I woke up and I looked around. I searched my room, I looked out the window, I turned the dial on the radio...searching. What was I searching for I asked myself? It hit me.
My inspiration.
I live my life to spread good energy to others. Sometimes I don’t know how I find the energy to get through my own day. Today, it occurred to me – I look for it. I ask for it; whether consciously or unconsciously, I seek it out. I actively search for the good stuff. I look to make good days happen. I listen for the secret music, the lyrics, the sounds that change lives. I look for moments to remind me I am doing the right thing. I am living right. I am staying on path that has been chosen for me.I spend the time thinking about what will make me smile before I go out into the world.
Then I got pissed. All around me everyday are complainers, those who seek out the negative. Those who can’t find anything good in the world around them or in regards to anything they are up to. It's not easy finding the positive, but it is a conscious decision.
We all get out of bed and put one foot down on the floor, followed by the other. We all breathe oxygen and need water to survive. We all crave touch. We all choose how to treat each other and how to live our lives.
I don't think about smiling everyday. I think about the consequence of not smiling. I think about how my actions affect others. I consider how negative energy is poison. I consider how my choices affect the world.
For those who think my life is so great, and that's why I am so smiley and happy - you are wrong. Because I am so smiley is why my life is great, not the other way around. As shitty as my life may get - why would I put that on the rest of the world?
Spreading love feels good, even when I don't.
And it's not easy.
It is not easy being a cheerleader for people around you who can't even cheer for themselves.
But what's harder is listening to people moan and whine because they don't know a different way to be. When I walk outside I don't look for the cracks in the cement. I don't look for the shit on my shoe. I don't smell the foul stench of desperate humanity. I choose to look for the beauty in the world, even when it's gray outside. Even if the sun does not come out that day - I remember what it looks like and treasure when I will see it again.
The sun on my face makes it all worth it. The affirmations from people I love are just a bonus.