After the bathroom incident, I saw the same bouncer in the bar and made a point to approach and apologize. He just smiled. I wasn't sure if he was giving me shit, or simply harassing me because I was in the men's bathroom.
Regardless, I realized he was mocking me.
I told my friend that I got the feeling that it was because I was dancing with this white guy in front of the band and he didn't like it. My friend responds, "every black guy I know only dates white girls". His impression was that, this bouncer, who happened to be black could care less about the fact I was dancing with some white guy.
But, I have had numerous occassions in the past where black men were aggressive with me, and have made comments about my date. This is not an unusual scenario. This was also not in Denver. I notice in the southern states people, in general, have a lot more animosity (and are vocal about it) towards those in interracial courtships.
Meanwhile...back at the ranch, I was flying home and had one of the male, gay flight attendants, who happens to be in an interracial relationship tell me this story:
He was in the hotel van and they were waiting for another male flight attendant. When the male flight attendant arrived, he was striking. Tall, blond, and described as looking like a famous male model. The girls in the van swooned, while the male flight attendant I was speaking with described how awestruck he was with a gasp. He then stated that another passenger in the van, an older woman (late 50's, early 60's) acknowledged his reaction, then leaned in and whispered to him, "I prefer black cock".
Our society has changed so much in the last 50 years.
We have become so brazen, and so outspoken.
I believe like everything in life there has to be balance, and as we have those who do not adhere to the concept of inter racial dating, we also have those who will tell a complete stranger on the hotel van what they prefer.
What I want to know is, who cares?
Why does anyone care who I have dinner with? Who I sleep with? Who I rest my head on at night? Who cares?
and why?
When I see a couple out, I could give a shit why they are together.
Like most things in life, I worry about my own stuff. I worry about my bills. My kids. My sex life. My breakfast.
I also wonder how we can all live in the same country yet have such different ideas about what race means...what relationships mean, and why we care what those around us think.
photo courtesy of celebuzz.com
From a black male perspective:
ReplyDeleteYou're too good looking to interrracial date
Interracial dating is seen by us as the last refuge of the desperate woman who just wants to be with a guy and will disregard color in her search. But this is for the lesser appealing women (so we think) that they would go to such extremes. Surely the finer women would always choose to date within their race first?
Yet this is hardly the case. A closer examination will find black women with mainly caucasian men. I think there are a variety of reason for this that go beyond supply and demand. Yet I get it for black men as I fall somewhere in between on this: It does bother me to a certain extent to see a black woman with someone outside of her race. I immediately ask "Why?" But black men certainly do not , on a whole, live up to be worthy of some women, black or otherwise.....That's all I'll say on that in violation of the Bro Code , LOL! So if there are women who are frustrated and/or just feel like they like a guy who happens to be outside of their race, so be it. I can deal. But to be honest, somewhere inside me I say " Why not me?"
This is the product of the internal racism I am referring to.
ReplyDeleteYou make a strong opinion, which actually coincides with exactly what my point was initially.
..."the finer women" may choose to date those who treat her as she has been raised to be treated. Don't accept anything less than the cream of the crop - who says this is limited to race?
Funny enough, black men who date outside their race seem to have a grand opinion about themselves and why the choose to date outside their race as well.
There is a lot of high self value within races dictating who/why one should be gifted with the best of the best, no matter what race that is.
The only reason people look at interracial dating as a point of value is because they are racist.
We are all the same. Inside and out, brown, purple, yellow, black, beige and ego-driven.
Hmmmmm...... I think there are some Black men who will choose to date outside of their race because they dont like the drama black women bring and/or like the appreciation those outside of their race have for them. It seems sometimes that people outside of one's race appreciate the same people within our own race for reasons which vary yet are nonetheless vaild. This appreciation , which goes both ways between the sexes, is only part of the equation.
ReplyDeleteI know for where I live, where there a a great number of "finer" black women, they too believe in wanting the cream of the crop only to find that the picking within their own racial group to be extremely limited. It created a dysfunctional mindset where they truly hold out for Mr. Right forsaking men who would be fine with them if the were to "compromise" to a certain extent on their lofty goals. But I can't hate on them for wanting what's best for them. I want the same for myself. Some people just are not keen on accepting the dynamics of a changing world. I have to admit, I'm probably in that number but I'm far more tolerant than others.
So, tolerant of what?
ReplyDeleteBlack women that you don't even know that date outside their race?
White women lucky enough to be graced with your presence?
Your sister?
My kids?
Tolerant of what? exactly?
I know many women who will not compromise for the small mindset of men who think their shit don't stink and act like they are doing women (finer or not) a favor.