Red Flags and Intent

This may be something I have covered before but is super important.
I have been in so many situations lately where I am confused, or agitated, or realize my thought process is off balance with the world around me... and it all comes down to Red Flags and Intent.

I recently explained to a friend that I was looking for specific things in a relationship. I was very clear about my requirements for fidelity, honesty, and monogamy. I also shared feelings that I had regarding being in a  relationship in the past where I was made to feel like I was a secret. Come to find out, this past relationship was maintaining another relationship at the same time, which clarified all the feelings I had at the time.

There were specific details of this past relationship that I explained in order to clarify the things that contributed to my current list of things that make me go "hmmm". Likely red flags that would end any possibility of any relationship based not only on my history with these types of actions, but the intent behind them as well.

When a man tells you that he does not add women he is dating to a public media forum and then you find out, that is because his other girlfriend(s) is/are in this forum.
OR
A man asks you not to share photographs of you two together, for whatever reason.
OR
Cell phone secrecy...ie. going into the bathroom to return phone calls or texts.
I actually kicked open the door of a men's restroom in a bar once because I knew my date who had been glancing at his phone all night had finally gone into the restroom to return texts. The look on his face as I kicked the door open and found him standing directly in front of the urinal, with his phone in his hand, doing exactly what I knew he was doing....priceless. Half the bar got a giggle.

These few things are simple examples which proved to be masks for shady behaviors. I have a sixth sense for human nature. I can not explain it. But, whether anxiety, or stress, or nervousness - men (mankind) change their behaviors when they are up to something. Sometimes it can be a good surprise - a surprise birthday dinner, a super duper present they have been hiding, or even a proposal. But, more often than not, it's simply hiding the obvious. The good surprises eventually unveil themselves...the obvious, but not so good, never uncover themselves, they are usually revealed by someone else.

This is where intent comes into the picture. The purposefulness of the secrets. Regardless if one thinks they are doing someone a favor by "not hurting their feelings" someone else's feelings are bound to get hurt. I have never been able to stress the importance of honesty to anyone I have ever dated.
You aren't sparing my feelings by hiding that you like to spend time with someone else.
I would prefer you save me my from wasting my time on someone who isn't sure what they want. Then it is my choice.
My choice to continue to date openly - perhaps I want to date five men simultaneously. That should be my choice, not bound to someone who commits to monogamy...but only for me.
My choice to decide to sleep with someone who is likely sleeping with (or trying to sleep with) other women.
My choice to find someone who is more like minded.
My choice to not buy bullshit.

Funny enough, the friend I was having this discussion with, couldn't understand why I was so sure that these red flags meant the same thing for every man. To which I respond:

The whole is greater than the sum of it's parts...
it is not one individual item or red flag so to speak, but the teamwork of all the flags which make a scenario.